Thursday, October 5, 2006

My Sister & Me & my newest nickname

      "racist dumfuck sister"  Gee, I guess that would be me! I like Goddess better!

 I have a younger sister, actually I have 2. I love them both, only one loves me. I talk to one, one I don't talk to. One loves me I think, one hates me I fear. I don't know why my sister loves me, I don't know why my sister hates me.

I think of myself as a strong woman. I have been molested, I have been raped. I have been abandoned. I have never been weak, I have never been a victim. When I thought I was dependent, I became independent. When I was wronged I got over it. When I was hurt, I became stronger and when I was hated, I loved. I am a strong, independent woman. I don't need anyone, any government, any program to get by. I could live alone or with others. I am what I am because I chose to be what I am, not because someone made me what I am today. I have no one to blame for my mistakes. Mistakes I have made were part of my growing up. I can say I am sorry and mean it. And that is all I have to say about that. I am a private person.

8 comments:

nelishianatl said...

Oh, these are life lessons hard learned.  I understand completely though.  I'm stronger than ever and am no longer a victim.  Good for you for realizing your own strengths too.  I celebrate your victories with you.  YAY for you!
Keep holding your head up out here and show us all how it looks.  Needed are more strong survivors writing their stories.
NELISHIA
http://journals.aol.com/nelishianatl/WISHINGANDHOPING/

fisherkristina said...

Good for you for not being a victim.

Krissy
http://journals.aol.com/fisherkristina/SometimesIThink

madcobug said...

Yes, I would say you are a strong woman. More power to you. Hugs, Helen

lanurseprn said...

Julie..you are one of the strongest women I've met...EVER.    I've always admired you so much.
As far as sisters....heck, I've got THREE (2 half sisters and a stepsister) and I NEVER hear from them!  EVER!  And the thing is....nothing bad every happened between us.  It's just the way it is.  Sad. I always wonder what I said..or did?  Guess I won't ever find out, huh?  I kind of have an idea....but that's a whole entry LOL!
Have a good day off.  Your morning sounds beautiful!
Pam

siennastarr said...

You and I sound an awful lot alike.  Only thing is I have never been molested, and I am a very open person.  To the point that it gets me into trouble sometimes!
My sister and I go back and forth.  Always have.  One day we like each other, and the next we don't.  Always been that way!

Hugs
Jackie

ladeeoftheworld said...

Sister dynamics are tough.  Yes they are.

evantyson said...

I feel the EXACT same way, I am a strong, independent, survivor of life as are you. Your entry really touched me. I know how relationships with sisters can be I have one also younger, it's hard but most things in life that are worth anything aren't easy right. Eva.

rebuketheworld said...

This belongs on a post card(with the exception of the first line which I cracked up with)


Deep stuff here.....feeling the vibe...right on!

~Raven