Continuing Saga of GB misery

               

    I thought I would start out with a pretty picture before I started my Whine of the Day.

Got into to see my Doctor today after pretty much insisting. She scheduled a Ultrasound of the Abd and a hida scan. Bad news is I can't get in until Wednesday. I decided to call and see if I can get in sooner since I haven't eaten since yesterday around 5. Since you have to have this test on an empty stomach I though maybe that was why I couldn't have it done until then......no such luck. They are just booked up.

Now I have to decide what to do. I am suppose to work tomorrow. Hopefully I will be feeling better and I can work and then go right down for the test at 7:30. It won't be fun working all night and not being able to have my coffee, but if I am feeling better I will do that. Worse case would be if I still feel like I do right now. Extremely bloated, sick to my stomach and in pain.

Now this pattern is getting really frustrating. I am off for an entire week. Feel fine no problems, go to work and fall apart and miss. Since I am sole support this is not good. I should see about changing my week off. Maybe that would help. Sigh. Oh well,

Zoey is also having some problems. She was incontinent of urine today. That has never happened before. They said this medicine might make her go more and drink more and it has. She also doesn't seem to be feeling her old self. Of course she is laying around at my feet or lying in bed with me, nurse dog on duty but I think she doesn't feel good either. I told Rick I am going to taper her off the medicine. Her allergies should be better soon with the colder weather and I hate having her on steroids. Just isn't safe. Hopefully we can continue to make each other feel better.

I can't understand drug addicts. I have been taking the nausea medicine and a pain pill a couple of times. I feel like some stupid person has moved into my brain. I go into the kitchen and stand blankly there trying in vane to remember what I came in for. If I sit still for longer then5 minutes I am asleep. The weather is beautiful outside and I have no desire to be out in it. Just lay in my bed feeling like a slug. I can't live like this! They have got to fix me up soon.

Another thing about this is my abdomen is huge. Its like I have ascites which is fluid in the belly except mine is gas. Yikes. My pants feel so tight. I was up 4 pounds at the doctors. Since I thought I had gained 8 this actually was a plus for me, LOL.

So now that I have had some fun with my Whine here are some more jokes.

The Warning Signs of Insanity...(or that you have had to many pain pills)

Everyone you meet appears to have tentacles growing out of places that you wouldn't expect tentacles to be growing from.

You start out each morning with a 30-minute jog around the bathroom.

You write to your mother in Germany every week, even though she sends you mail from Iowa asking why you never write.

Every time you see a street sign, you have a tremendous urge to relieve yourself on it.

You wear your boxers on your head because you heard it will ward of evil dandruff spirits.

You're always having to apologize to your next door neighbour for setting fire to his lawn decorations.

Every commercial you hear on the radio reminds you of death.

People stay away from you whenever they hear you howl.

Your breath smells more and more like squirrel dung each passing day.

Nobody listens to you anymore, because they can't understand you through that scuba mask.

You begin to stop and consider all of the blades of grass you've stepped on as a child, and worry that their ancestors are going to one day seek revenge.

You have meaningful conversations with your toaster.

Your father pretends you don't exist, just to play along with your little illusion.

You collect dead windowsill flies.

Every time the phone rings, you shout, "Hey! An angel just got its wings!"

You like cats. Especially with mayo.

You cry at the end of every episode of Gilligan's Island because they weren't rescued.

You put tennis balls in the microwave to see if they'll hatch.

You have a predominant fear of fabric softener.

Your dentist asks you why each individual tooth has your name etched on it, and you tell him it's for security reasons.

Melba toast excites you.

When the waiter asks for your order, you ask to go intoanother room to tell him because "the napkins have ears."

You tend to agree with everything your mother's dead uncle tells you.

You argue with yourself about which is better, to be eaten by a koala or to be loved by an infectious disease.

You like to sit in cornfields for prolonged periods of time, and pretend that you're a stalk.

You try to make a list of the Warning Signs of Insanity. (cough)

People offer you help, but you unfortunately interpret this as a violation of your rights as a boysenberry.

You keep thinking this is the year for the Red Sox.

You despise the voices in your head, especially the one that speaks only Hindi.

You see migrating flocks of ducks in the fall and only your attachment to the toaster keeps you from joining them.

The person you always talk to is invisible to everyone but you.

You like reading lists like this.