Monday, October 2, 2006

My Lame List

   Remember the old TV show Almost Live?  They had a segment called the lame list I always liked.  Here's mine"

1) Collagen lips.......what's up with that?

2) Guys pants hanging down below their butts........Yuk, now how is that suppose to be attractive?

3) Tattoos creeping up your neck and on your face.......someday you will be my age!

4) White boys with dredlocks

5) White upper middle class boys listening to rap and pretending like they are in the hood, what hood, the walmart hood?

6) Talking on the phone while driving and putting your makeup on.

7) Talking on the phone in a movie, or on a date and ignoring your date!

8)  Short shirts made in my size.....Yah right, I want my middle roll hanging out.

9) Bathroom stalls you have to climb on the toilet to close the door.

10) Stupid instructions......Caution, iron will be hot when heated.....Duh

11) Those talking fish or deer you hang on your wall......of course my son bought one....

12)  Hummer's......Whats is up with that stupid vehicle.  You can only seat 4 and it probably uses a tank of gas to go 3 blocks.  The men around here who drive them all sport Hamiltan's and big gold rings,   double yuk!  

13) Straight pipes on Harleys, sorry guys but it usually is the Harley's and it usually is the same guys who drive up and down the main streets looking in window to see their profiles.....oh, and wearing the latest from the Harley boutique.

14)  Thumping car stereo's.  IF I WANTED TO HEAR YOUR MUSIC I WOULD TURN ON MY OWN RADIO THANK YOU.  Of course Imay be slightly sensitive since I sleep in the daytime.

15)  People who refuse to dress for the weather.........really notice this on date night at the meat market.  Short skirts and sleeveless tops even when the temps are in the 30's.  Hummm, maybe the goosebumps are a turn on these days,  and hey, how about that pneumonia cough!


17) Class action law suits..........Hey ladies, great news! If you have ever taken Fosomax your jaw may rot off causing you much pain and sorrow. The good news is we can sue the pants off them netting you the satisfaction of nailing the bad guys + maybe a dollar and me, your favorite lawyer a cool million or two...... so give me a call.............I care!

18)Those on-star commercials.   That whiney woman drives me nuts "yes, someone hit me'",  and I swear the 911 operator is trying hard not to laugh.  Isn't it time for another one!

    I am going to keep adding to this as I think of them. 

       So whats your lame list?  If you make one send me your link!


nelishianatl said...

OHHHH THIS IS SO GOOD!  I wanna do one.  I could go on and on, a little like Andy Rooney from 60 minutes.  These were right on target.  Stupidity abounds with people and you hit the nail right on the head with this list.  Thanks for the laugh.

springangel235 said...

Your list speaks!

lanurseprn said...

OMG I totally agree with you on ALL of it!!  LMAO!!

xxroxymamaxx said...

I agree with the cell phone thing.  Once we were at Disney on It's a small World ride and there was a man and his little girl behind us and she was having the time of her life....singing every word to the song, kept saying look daddy look ....and he talkly, loudly, on the cell phone the whole time.  Didn't even see what a great time his little girl was having.  I felt sorry for her and angry at him.  Hugs and GBU, Shelly