Monday, October 29, 2007

A Date

   I am going on a date.  He's tall, 6'3 and I think handsome in a rough and furry way.  I have my face done up, and I only wear makeup for very special occasions.  My favorite scent, rain zen, yummy.  Now I just need him.

   Yup, Rick and I are going out on a Monday date night to celebrate his birthday.  Also we are combining our anniversary which is on the 3rd because we don't know if we will be able to get away twice in a week.  34 years!  Wow.

    Rick can barely walk his back is so bad but I think a nice bottle of red Zinfandel  will sooth those sore muscles.  I am trying very hard to lose some unwelcome pounds so I plan on a small steak, broccoli and a salad.  Yummy.  And wine.

    On the first is my MIL's birthday.  She is going to be 86.  I really didn't think we would be celebrating it this year.  She amazes me.  She doesn't want anything but also loved flowers so I am getting her some very pretty ones to enjoy.  I told her I would cook anything she wanted to eat.  She can't come up with anything though.

    Work was good last night.  I talked to my boss to see how closely I was treaded to a warning for missing work.  I have worked with her for years and she is being very good about not giving me a bad time.  She understands how hard it is to predict something like this.  She understands that if I have to lose me job to do be it and I don't think she wants it to come to that.  Me either actually.

   Actually.  That was my grandsons favorite work.  I actually would like some milk gramma, Actually I would like chocolate in it also.  Actually maybe strawberry would be better.  I miss him so much already.  I miss my son.  I was upset his last day he spent with his wifes relatives that get to see him alot more often then us so we parted with me being cranky which I can get when I am tired.  Next time the other relatives can fly him out.  Right!  Specially when money is so tight right now.

   Well, I have to take the dog out before my date comes.  I feel like a teenager again, LOL.

Friday, October 26, 2007

Fun times

    I was afraid he would be shy and just start warming up the last day, but he ran into my arms at the airport and we have had a grand time.  He gives everyone hugs and kisses and is just a doll.  Although my son was shocked to see his Gramma, my grandson thought nothing of it and gave her a big hug and kiss.  In fact today when we went over he gave my MIL a big hug and they both went backwards.  We all watched in horror as it seemed like in slow motion down they went.  And there wasn't a thing we could do about it.   My poor grandson started to cry and hid behind the couch, sure he had killed his gramma.  She was fine and we finally convinced him it was OK.  Now I can giggle about it but what a shock.  The hospice nurse was there and we checked her over.  My MIL said of course she didn't get hurt as she hit her hard dane head and it broke the fall. 

   The visit has been great.  My MIL has been laughing and hospice says they see a twinkle in her eye.  It kind of sad we can't go someplace special with him,but one of has to be with my MIL and my son understands.  Tomorrow I have to go back to work and they are staying at my MIL's and then leaving at 4 am.  I am going to miss them so much.  My grandson has gotten so big.  Twice the size he was and what a talker.  His favorite word is actually.  so cute.  My son has lost 40 pounds and is so handsome.   I will miss them also but he gave me a web cam so we can talk to each other that way.  Should be fun if I can figure it out.

   Well, take care all.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

The Sun Will Come out Tomorrow

    Tomorrow, tomorrow, I'll see them tomorrow...its only a day awayyyyyyyyy

    Can we say excited here.  I can.  By this time tomorrow we will be pulling into the airport.  I am going shopping today to get him something to greet him with.  Maybe balloons, a car game, a toy.  Not sure but am sure a big hug.  Poor kid probably doesn't remember me at all and I plan on swooping him up and smothering him with hugs and kisses.  Oh well, he will grow to love me all over again I know. Tomorrow...

Monday, October 22, 2007

Good Morning


    And I am giving thanks,  Zoey is better again and Wednesday I will be hugging my son and  grandson.  It is getting so close I can barely stand it.  I have missed them so much.  I wish my granddaughter could have come also.  Hopefully I will get to see them this summer.


     Tonight the LPN we hired might be able to sit with my MIL so hubby and I can go out to eat.  We have missed our monday night date nights.  She seems really nice and my MIL likes her so that is a good thing.  My MIL did complain slightly about the cost but I reminded her that she was the one who refused to go to the hospital for respite care so this was the next best thing.

    I am not sure why she doesn't want to go for respite.  In case you don't know respite care is something provide by hospice if caregivers need to be gone for the day or a few days.  She can do 5 days every 6 months at either the hospital or a local nursing home.  At our hospital we have some lovely rooms.  They don't do lab or treatments, just pass your meds and give you your meals and spoil you.  You can watch TV all day or whatever you feel up to.  Its not that bad.  But to her its not home.  It's weird that she refuses it now as she always kind of liked being in the hospital before.  Go figure.

     She has had a couple of good days.  I am going to wash her hair today and put some conditioner on it.  It gets so dry and her scalp itches so hopefully that will help.  Yesterday I made a lemon cake for her.  She always liked the lemon cakes and she still does. Then I am going to come back here and get some housework done.  I want to get the sheets washed and the kitchen floor again but the bathroom needs a good going over.

      I also have to pack some items that will sell so far on my ebay auction.  People are bidding earlier since I started it in the middle of the night, LOL.  And I bought a piece of Weller pottery I have wanted for awhile.  Ticked me off though the seller is charging way more then shipping then it is actually going to be.  Since I do so much shipping I can tell what it should cost.  I complained about it and will see what the actually cost is when it comes and then request a refund.  I can understand the shipping costs have risen but not that much.

   Well, the weather has been cold and rainy here for days and will continue all week.  I need to get some yard work done also.  The yard looks simply terrible as we have really neglected everything while we are taking care of my MIL.  Thing about housework and yard work is it does wait for you, LOL.

    Well, I had better get busy.  Take care all.

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Zoey Relasped


          The vet said it might happen and that her lab work, while so much better wasn't perfect yet.   So today Rick and I changed places and he came home to doggy puke.  Better him then me.  So Zoey was really sorry but not feeling really perky today.   She is back on medicine.  I hate trying to give her the carafate as it disolves so quick and she does her best to spit it out making her choke.  She likes the antibiotic so I use that as a treat when she takes the other pill.  She is down 7 pounds and starting to feel bony.  I don't like that at all.  Otherwise she is still not near as bad as she was.  Hope she feels better tomorrow.

     My MIL is slightly forgetful and very tired today.  She slept most of the day.  When she didn't have her oxygen on she looked pretty dusky.  So all in all, not the best of days. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

 The tag below is one Donna made, purple for pancreatic cancer like my MIL and her sister has.

Like Water I will deal with my BIL


Develop a meditation that is like water. Doing this, you will find that the thoughts and impressions that possess you will flow away. Just as people wash away their body liquids, their sweat and spittle, pus and blood, and yet the water is not troubled or disgusted--so this water meditation will bring you peace.

-Majjhima Nikaya



           Ghoul morning all, LOL.   Isn't the graphic wonderful.
           Not much going on today.  The LPN is coming around 11 for us to talk to and see how she is with my MIL.   I am staying at her house today and Rick is coming here so he can get the window airs out and do some heavy stuff I can't do anymore easily.  I also am finishing on the drawers at my MIL's.

        She has not been doing as well since 2 nights ago.  All of a sudden she is getting up often at night to go the bathroom, but is unable to walk that far.  Rick has been using the wheelchair.  She usually never gets up more then once at night and was able to walk.  I don't know if she has a bladder infection or what is going on.  Plus during the day she is able to walk with her walker.  I am also worried about her being on lasix everyday without checking her potassium.   She is having more chest pain and rapid heart rate plus is confused off and on.  Is her calcium low, her potassium?  Being hospice the only blood they usually check is her dig level.   I am going to ask her hospice nurse to see if we can check the blood monday and if we can't then if we can stop the lasix.  I realize she is a hospice patient, but if it is causing her discomfort I don't want that.

    We are unfortunately expecting the BIL one of these days.  It has been so nice and peaceful without him.  We finally got the bedroom he used to not stink like cigarettes so bad.  Maybe he won't come back, but I doubt it.  We do have all of my MIL's check and savings books.  When she is completely alert she doesn't want him to have any more money.  When she is forgetful she doesn't remember he took the money or drugs.  She is getting more and more vague these days.

      I have offered to stay with MIL at night and have Rick come here so he can catch up on his sleep.  He is happy so far taking care of her.  I suggested keeping the commode next to her bed at night but he would rather wheel her in the restroom.  When I do stay there that is what I am going to do.  Use the commode at night.  Much easier.

      4 more days and my Grandson and son come.  I am so excited.  The LPN is going to sit with my MIL so we can both go to Omaha to get them.    I can't wait to wrap that child in my arms, he will probably wish he was elsewhere, LOL.

    Well, everyone have a wonderful weekend.

Friday, October 19, 2007

Trying it again


  Well, I just lost my long rambling couldn't sleep post so it was probably a good thing.  I have been up for 2 hours so far.  Wishing and dreaming of sleep.   Instead I am having chest pain and leg cramps.  No rest for the weary.  And I want it.  I WANT IT.

   I get chest pain off and on.  I used to run to the hospital, but fortunately it was never anything more then some ectopics and so now I just take some tylenol and wait it out.  Probably arthritis in my ribs or something.  I don't know what it was but I do know it and these darn legs and kept me from my much needed sleep for 2 days.

    Today I am going to be busy.  Hospice comes at 9 and then the vet at 11.  He will be so pleased to see how good she is doing.  Then back to MIL's with Zoey to get the animals used to each other.
    I have promised to go through more cupboards today and get rid of 200 butter tubs without lids, 300 used bread sacks we will never use, food and spices that still feature smiling women with dresses and aprons on and flip hairdo's.

    If I can't find a lid, it is going.  If I can't find a best by this date, it is going.  If it doesn't look like it was made in this decade it is going.  I am on a mission.  She wants me to go through the drawers and start getting rid of stuff.  Take anything home you want!  Gee, 2 drawers full of used wrapping paper that still has some use, ribbon, yarn, flat as a pancake bows.  Boxes and boxes of greeting cards from the dollar store, you know the type.

    I hold up 3 inches of thick yellow yarn and look at her with one eyebrow raised, she sheepishly grins, well you never know when it will come in handy.  I will use it to close the garbage bag shut with all the expired evaporated milk cans I found down in the pantry,  See she triumphantly says, I knew it would come in handy.

    The house was always so neat and tidy who knew what secrets these closet and drawers held.   Years and years and decades of saving things because they might come in handy.  Now I know where my husband gets it.  My husband who has gone through my sons trash because he feels he throws away perfectly good unwanted things and there just has to be a use for something so cool and high tech looking.  He is still doing it.  I put things in bags, turn my back and catch him out of the corner of my eye reaching in the bag.  Oh no you don't I growl.

    Anyway that is my day.  Plus I want to get my MIL some flannel pj's.  We got her a heated mattress pad and she is so cozy. We are happy as we have been able to turn down the heat alittle.  Win win.  And I have to interview the LPN and come up with a fair price to pay her.  Busy day on 4 hours of sleep.  Darn. 

    I also did an ebay sale since I couldn't sleep.  That should stop some of the people who wait until the last second to bid.  Get up at 4:30 and bid then why don't ya.

   I am slowing getting to the journals and reading my entries.  Wish I had a computer at my MIL's.  Take care all.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007


  Man oh man I read over that last entry and what a hoot.  Its a wonder I could even find the keyboard.   Usually the sleeping pill never hits me that hard but I am as usual behind on sleep so it must have been extra effective.  I fixed my typo's.  Note to self, do an entry before you take your sleeping pill.

    Well it is 7 hours later, I should be bright eyed and bushy tailed but for some odd reason I was plagued with leg cramps all night.  First in my right ankle and foot, then in my right calf and last but not the least painful my left calf.  Gee, I must has worked out harder at work then I thought.  I did do some running last night.

         Next week at this time my wonderful grandson and son will be arriving.   We are arranging a sitter for my MIL so we can both to Omaha for the flight.  I am so excited.  I bet Gabe won't even remember us but hopefully we can make an impression this time.

 Hopefully my MIL will be bright still.  I have this fear they will come hours after or before her death.  What a visit for my grandson.  But my MIL looks pretty good these past 3 days.  Hope it isn't the calm before the storm. 

     joked with her yesterday and told her I didn't need to put our her Halloween skeleton because we would just use her this year.  She thought that was so funny.  She said she was glad she could still be useful and maybe she should stand on the porch on Halloween and give out the candy, scare the kids.  I told her she wasn't scary enough, too friendly looking.  She looked like the comic character Maxine these days.

    Last night of work.  I think I have to be charge again tonight .  That has been happening an awful lot lately.    I don't care for it but the more I do it the easier it becomes.  It is difficult when you have a full load of patients yourself.

     Zoey is her old self, well actually her new and improved much thinner and more active self.  Starting tomorrow we are going to try and get the cat and dog familiar with each other.  Should be interesting.  And after tonight I have 9 days off because I took some time off to see my grandson.

       Well, time to pop into the shower and get ready to go.  Check the mail and get the daily deluge of holiday magazines to toss in the trash.  Bye all


Another night, another headache


          One more day of work.  We have been so incredibly busy.   Mostly heart patients.  I was charge last night, but it went well and I got out on time.  Doesn't happen ofter.  Now to sleep so I can do it all over again.  Joy Joy.

            We are falling into our routine.   Rick picks meup while his mom is sleeping.  I come home to sleep, he goes and helps her.  Makes her breakfast and helps her get dressed if she wants to .   I go over when I wake up and do supper and clean.  I set out her Halloween things yesterday.  That pleased her.  She is in pretty good spirits right now.

    Well, my sleeping pill is kicking in extra strong right now.  I think I will stumble to bed  Take care all.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

One more day.

  Can you tell I am doing the countdown, LOL.      I was charge for 8 hours last and actually got out on time.  One more night to work.

         Work was not bad last night.  I see improvement in my patients,  loved the people I worked with and my back had cut it down a notch.  So nice.  I was able to doing some therapeutic laughing and one girl gave a great back massage when the pain got hard to handle.  I work with some wonderful people.

          We made supper at MIL's.   It was too spicy she thought, too bland we thought so we were not exactly satisfied with dinner.  It is hard to cook for someone who usually only cooked with salt and pepper.  We like to use different spices and herbs when we cook.  How much macaroni and cheese can you eat in a lifetime. 

    At times she seems less confused.  We had a pleasant meal and she seemed with it,.  even smiled,  Not happy about the LPN I hired.  I can stay by myself she says.  No Mom, you can't anymore.  You will be sleeping the entire time she is here anyway.  Do it for my our peace of mind.   BIL left me alone for hours without problems.  Well mom, that a problem of a different nature and I don't intent to neglect you that way thank you very much..  She is starting to have some GI bleeding.   And states she just doesn't want to get out of bed much anymore.  I told her to lay in bed as much as she wanted.

     I felt so quilty going to work the day she was confused.  I am used to a confused patient.  I know who to redirect them and get them to calm down.  I am used to dying people.  I know the signs that it is getting near.   Rick is scared to death.  He has only seen his dad die.  It wasn't alone with his dad when he died.  All the family was there.  I feel bad I am not there all the time to reassure him he will be OK and help him through this.  Things are looking close enough I am thinking this might be the last night I work unless the LPN works out good enough.   Mentally my MIL is getting ready to let get.  I can hear it in the things she says.  She tired, she has had enough, she wants to just stay in bed.  She wishes she would just not wake up.  This is fairly new also.   I think she will get her wishes soon.  We have a hospice meeting in the morning.

    Thanks to everyone for your prayers and kind emails.  It helps.

     Now some good news.  Zoey is like she has been snatched from the jaws of death and is determined to live each day like it is her last.  This has taken like 3 years off her.  She is playing with toys she hasn't touched in ages and wanted to rough house like a puppy.   It is wonderful and the vet was so pleased when he called.
    So that is all folks.  Take care.


Saturday, October 13, 2007

2 more nights left


         Well  I got through 2 nights.  I won't even bother to tell you how hard it has been on my back.  I am counting down the days.  Work has been busy with little emergencies off and on all night that makes the night go fast.  Then its home to give Zoey her breakfast and meds and see how MIL did.  Sleep for as long as possible then go to MIL's help with supper and whatever and then work.

       My MIL has been confused off and on for the last 3 days.  Ornery confused.  Took off her dressing, refused to take her meds, but then demands her pills 10 minutes later.  Wants to go to bed and then 10 minutes later wants up.  She has a totally flat affect.  No emotion what so ever.   No smiles, no frowns, nothing and she has taken to repeating everything over and over.  I am thinking her kidneys are shutting down and she is getting confused from the toxins building up.  It is no longer safe to even run to the store while she is napping as she is very likely to get up immediately and wander around not using her walker.

        So last night I made arrangements for an LPN to come in when we need to leave her.  That way when Rick needs to come here to take Zoey out and give her her meds while I am working someone will be there or when he has to go to the store someone will be there.  This is only for the days I am working but that way I can keep working for as long as possible.  She has repeatedly said how sick she is of the whole thing.  I don't blame her.

      Well, I amgoing to bed.  It is dark and rainy here, perfect for sleeping.  Hope everyone is having a wonderful weekend.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Last night off


         It has been a long day.  I spent the morning cleaning here, got my hair cut, went shopping for things for my MIL, made supper over there and did some cleaning and then got home around 8:30.   My back is giving me real fits this evening.  Feels like someone is stabbing me between my shoulder blades time after time after time.  Maybe BIL has a voodoo doll, LOL.  Anyway I can't do much about it.  I took a stronger pain pill then I normally take, meaning stronger then Motrin and soaked in the tub.  Have you ever had a pain that feels like it is swollen on the inside trying to push it ways out?  Its a miserable thing.

    However,  Zoey is doing all she can to make me feel better.  Since I am lonely at home without my hubby Zoey is doing the entertaining.  I was pleased and very happy when she got her gong and tossed it on my lap.  That is my cue to fill it up and let her happily throw it around emptying it.  She hasn't wanted her gong filled for a couple of weeks.  And she played with her favorite toy.  Plus her grass phobia has disappeared as rapidly as it came on.  Now the grass feels so good she took a roll in it today.  Go figure.  I think she has put on some weight also.  Now she is eating like a horse.  Make up time.

    I made a really good chicken dish I got off of All Recipe today. Chicken Milano.  My MIL ate pretty good for her.  And for her lunch I made some egg salad and she had cottage cheese with fresh pear cut up in it. Yes, I am still on my Pear love affair but from the looks of the pears today at the store it is coming to an end.  Darn.

    Today is my Grandson's birthday.  4 years old.  He is coming in 10 days.  I can't wait.

    Well, my pain pill is starting to make me foggy.  Not really touching the pain but hopefully I will sleep through it.  Have a wonderful night all.



I believe Zoey is going to make it


          We went an entire day without her getting sick.  She is eating up a storm all of a sudden and she wants to play.  All wonderful great signs.  The vet called and is very happy about her recovery.  As are we.  I really thought she wouldn't make it as you could probably tell.

        Today I think she is well enough I am bringing her to my MIL's for a little while.  I want to get the dog and cat used to each other as we are going to have my MIL's cat live with us.  Hopefully.  They didn't like each other at all when we first got the cat but that has been 6 years ago.  Maybe they both have mellowed.

        Tomorrow I go back to work.  I am not taking my leave of absence yet as Rick feels comfortable taking care of my MIL so far.  That could change instantly as her condition is fragile but for now that is the plan.  I need the money.  My back is still acting up and I have to face the facts that it isn't likely to improve much more so suck it up and go back to work.  It used to work resting it a couple of days but truthfully not much helps these days.  Well laughter helps so I enjoy reading the fun journals and I get the daily laugh report in my email each day.  A laugh a day is as good as an apple which I can't eat anyway.


Monday, October 8, 2007



    The storm knocked my cable out until a couple of hours ago.  I didn't think it was that bad.

   So today has been weird.  First of all my dog is doing some really weird bizarre things.  Things she never did until she got sick.  She won't go onto my grass.  She won't leave the pavement unless forced.  To take her out to go to the bathroom we have to go to the front yard by the cement driveway.  She hops to each paving stone until she reaches the porch.  Then she goes over the porch and jumps until she is in my orange lily flower bed and there and there only, she will go to the bathroom.  Not number 2 mind you......oh no, for that I have to drive her down to the river and let her walk there.   There she will walk on the grass.  She just doesn't like our grass.  Now I have never sprayed my lawn as I don't want her licking off the chemicals.  Go figure.  It gets stranger even.   I couldn't get her to eat the special food.  You can just feel the bones under her fur.  She has lost 6 pounds, lots for a dog.  I couldn't get her to drink.  So I have been experimenting and come up with some things that she seems to like.  I have to use a new clean bowl with cold fresh water each and every time I want her to drink.  I have to use a new clean bowl to put the food in and I have to warm it slightly to get her to eat.   If I don't do those things she just won't eat or drink. 

      Now she never did any of these things before she got sick.  The dirtiest mud puddle she could find on walks she would try to drink out of.  Although I am willing and happy to do whatever it takes, I sure hope when she is better she gets over these weird quirks. 

   The vet has never heard anything like it, especially this grass thing and he had to chuckle, but I bet he wouldn't be so amused at 2 am driving down to the river.  Sigh.  She looks so cute though and tonight is doing better.  Even allowed a biscuit or 2.


     I made a really good soup, wild rice with fresh chicken, not the chicken my BIL got, at my MIL and she had soup, a small piece of pie and some fresh pear.  I can cook when I put my mind to it.  Soups are easy also.  Then back home to feed Zoey again.  Every 3 hours.  She is supposed to eat 2 can's, but so far I have only been able to get 1 down her.  3 biscuits though, LOL

     So I am today feeling opportunistic about Zoey.  She looks brighter and even wanted to play! Yippy.  Keep those prayers coming as I think they are working.

Sunday, October 7, 2007

It is Good news.


     BIL is GONE.   I pray for anyone on the road with him.  So my hubby has officially moved in with MIL and when Zoey is better I will move over there also.  Actually I told him I would go tonight if he wanted to stay here but something about the possibility of cleaning up doggy puke all night didn't agree with him, LOL.

   Now for Zoey.  No more vomit.  She has eaten once, but not much and is drinking a small amount every once in awhile.  Mostly she is laying there sleeping.  I am hoping she is doing what her body tells her she needs to do to get better.  She got sick shortly after I gave her the medicine this morning so I will see how she does tonight.

     I still can't believe it.  Its like the sun has broken through a dark cloud.  I simply would never have believed something like this would happen.  Now to concentrate on keeping him from coming back.


Zoey Update

       Well things aren't going very well this morning.  Yesterday she ate 2 small meals and then stopped eating.  She started scratching on her ears and even with the medicine they are swollen up again.  She slept all night without problems, but was very dumpy today.  Wouldn't eat and drank very little and then suddenly projectile vomiting.  A bad sign.  They didn't give me anything for nausea.  It was really watery so maybe I was letting her have to much water too soon so I emptied the dish and will only give her about a fourth of a cup every 2 hours.

       I am so worried about her.  One of my fears is the cancer is why her pancreas is inflamed.  I look at her and except for her sleepy dull eyes her coat is so shiny and she looks so healthy minus all the shaved parts.  How can she be this sick.  And I have real fears we won't be able to save her.  She is only 8, we thought we had plenty more years with her.

     So my morning isn't going well. 

     I have been searching All Recipes for new and exciting rice and bean recipes for my MIL.  They say the best diet for her is low fat high carb and little meat.  A mild bean and rice meal is the best choice with lots of fresh fruits and green veggies.   I have some good recipes picked out and will be making one of them tonight.  It has black beans and brown rice, yummy, 2 of my favorites.

    Well, guess that is all.  I still think bringing her home is best as at least she is comfortable and relaxed on her blanket.

Saturday, October 6, 2007

A recipe

Chili dog recipe.  Kids love, 55 year old boys love, I love it as it is quick and easy.  I got the recipe from All Recipe and I changed it to suit me but you can do it the original way.

2 cans chili 15 oz.   I use the beanless as I don't care the beans and when I have left over chili I use that.

Hot dogs, I use Hebrew National low fat all beef.  Non of that nasty stuff

10 8" flour tortillas, I use low fat again.

1 cup shredded sharp cheddar, again I use low fat.

   Spread one can of chili in 9x5 pan.  I sprinkle chopped onion, either green or white.   Roll up one hotdog in each torilla and place in pan on top of chili.  flap side down.  Continue with each hotdog.  Put the other can of chili on top and I again use more onions.   Then I put chopped frito's on top.  I know, not to low fat there.   Bake at 425 for 30 minutes covered with aluminum foil.  Ta da.  Fast easy meal with a salad on the side.

    Zoey has eaten twice today and drank water all day with vomiting once.  She won't eat the last meal but I am happy with 2 small feedings.   She has slept hours.  If you think about it she hasn't really slept since Monday night as she was up all night Tuesday and wed. getting sick and then at the vets.  Sleeping is the best medicine for her right now I think  All is well in our family at the moment.  Rick should be home shortly for supper.  BIL is PACKING.  PACKING.  Yippy  He has been calling some relatives to visit.  Should  warn them?  I can imagine what he will be telling them about me, giggle.

It's a good thing

        Zoey looked 100% better being home.  They gave her a bath so it is even more pleasant having her home, LOL.   She has drank water and eating the special food they want her have for awhile and kept it down and now has been sleeping for about a hour.

      I do have a problem feeding her the food they want me to feed her.  I feel the food we feed is one of the best you can get.  Reading the ingredients to this food he has her on I can tell its a lot of filler and who knows where the ingredients come from. The vets all sell this food so they really push it but it has never made the top 10.

      I know where the ingredients to Flint River Ranch come from.  However I will bite my tongue and keep her on it for the 6 days he suggested.  It is mostly a turkey and rice which will be bland and easy for her to digest.  I have contacted my dog food company to see what they suggest.  We have a big selection.  But for now I am just happy to have her home.  She is happy and relaxed.  It can't help but be good for her.

    Rick had a hard time leaving to go back to his moms as he is pretty attached to her also. 

     Rick is comfortable taking care of his Mom for now and I will stay until Zoey is better.

    My back is still tricky feeling.  If I don't move the wrong way, not to bad.  Move the wrong way and it sure reminds me.  I don't need much reminding either I tell ya.

    Well, this is the last post today I promise.  Long winded I know.  Sorry.  And you know what?   I wish you all enough.

Picking up Zoey

   It's not that she all better, it's just the vet agrees she is stressing herself out too much.  They were able to get more IV fluids in her, but not without having someone sitting there calming her the entire time.  She isn't throwing up anymore or having diarrhea, but she hasn't eaten since Monday and kept it down.  She is going to be on a special diet and I will probably not get much if any sleep tonight... but that's OK.  I will do whatever it takes to get her better.

     I was reading about Canine pancreatitis.   Scary stuff and it can be fatal.  If the worse happens and she doesn't recover I want her here with us so she isn't afraid and is surrounded by love.  But I am a pretty good nurse.  Bedside nursing is what I do.  Even if my bed this time will be the floor next to her blanket.  We pick her up at 11:30.  First I have to go to the bank and get money out of my safety deposit box.  My emergency stash is almost gone.  This has to be our last emergency for awhile, LOL.  I can always get money from my son if I have too.  My MIL offered also but I just can't do that, not with BIL.  That would justify it to him somehow.  Plus I hate borrowing money. Just can't make myself do if I can find any other way. 

     Anyway.  I am sterilizing all of her dishes to make sure she doesn't reinfect herself.  I washed the kitchen floor again.  I have some filtered water already for her.  Now to bring her smelly self home.  Wonder when we will be able to bathe her?  Wish us all luck and thanks so much to everyone for their prayers.  I truly believe that helps.  All that white positive energy surrounding her.

   Rick is coming back to pick me up and then going back to MIL. 

Friday, October 5, 2007

visiting Zoey

          In the picture above you can see how red her skin is around her mouth and nose.  All her skin was that red and irritated.  I heard from the vet.  Seems like Zoey is causing some problems, LOL.   She pulled out her IV twice.  She has barked non stop since she was left.  She is biting on the kennel trying to chew her way out.  So he is having to give her nausea med, antihistamines and new antibiotic by shot.  He gave her a sedative but it didn't work long.   So I went to visit.

    We sat on the floor and she was just crying softly under her breath and hugging up to me.   She has one of those plastic cone around her head.  Her eyes are drugged looking and she stinks to high heaven.  I hugged her and petted her to calm her down and she finally stopped crying and took a nap.  Crossed legged on the floor I struggled not to bawl.  I just want to pick her up and bring her home.  Surely this distress can't be helping her illness.  I even asked the vet to let me bring her home and promised to give the shots myself.  But he says she is too ill.  I can't risk her life.  Fortunately after my hour visit she quietly went back to the kennel and has been quiet and dosing the rest of the day.  I promised her I would bring her home as soon as possible.  I know she is just a dog but I swear she knows I mean it.

    So  I came back home and changed out of my now smelling clothes and went to my MIL.    My MIL is having a bad day.  Very vague and her lasix hasn't helped.  Her legs are still swollen.  She is getting very withdrawn which you see at the end of the journey.  So another wonderful day.   WhileRick stayed I came home and made supper and am just resting.  I needed to get off my feet for awhile.

    I read some journals today and got some great laughs.  Jimmy always is good for a chuckle and Pam sent some great pumpkin pictures.  Jeane has great pictures of peaceful places I wish I was.  I close my eyes and meditate and picture sitting by the lake on that bench.  I can smell the leaves and hear the water.  I am there for awhile.  Awwwwww



         Zoey is in the doggy hospital hooked up to IV's.  The vet thinks she had a severe allergic reaction the antibiotics and then from vomiting and stuff got pancreatitis.  Somehow she also picked up fleas, probably there and maybe is allergic to them.  They did a ton of lab work and we should be hearing from him shortly to see what they have found out.  She looked so bad I was afraid she wouldn't survive the night.  Lord knows what the vet bill will be.

    Then I had some more views on my dexta scan.  Metal shows blue on the scans and I have this perfect round spot on my spine above where the screws are.  Possibly the head to one of the screws has broken off.  That would account for the increase in pain I have been having and the round bruise Rick noted.  It isn't bothering me as bad today so I would prefer to put that on the back burner for now so I shall.  Last thing I want is back surgery right now.

    We also got Ricks bill, 53,000 +.  Boy I hope my insurance comes through.   Looks like I will have to be working some major overtime.  Speaking of which, they messed up my check for the 3rd week in a row.  I didn't get 2 days of charge pay or 8 hours of PTO.   I did not need a short check this week.   Some days you just want to go outside and scream.  Remember scream therapy from was it the 70's?  There was something to that, LOL. 

   I hope Zoey is home soon.

     The house seems so empty with her gone.  Every since she got poisoned a couple of years ago she has been not as healthy as she was.  I wish we knew what she got into.

Thursday, October 4, 2007



        I have been home again for a couple of days because Zoey is ill.  She is throwing up and has diarrhea.  Now today her ears are all swollen and she has like sores in them.  She is still getting sick.  I thought she just had a touch of gastroenteritis.  It started out with what looked like hives.  We thought maybe she was allergic to her antibiotic she was on for her staph so we stopped them, but she just gets worse.  I am so worried.  She is sleeping in the kitchen and it just is killing her not to be by us at all times, but it is easiest to clean up the floor.  She cries and it makes me cry.  What is wrong with her?   Hopefully we can get in the vet this morning.

     Rick has been staying at his mom all day since I have to be here.  To top it off taking Zoey out in a hurry a couple of days ago we had an accident and I am all banged up.  It has been a bad couple of days.  And I got a call from the doctor that he wants to repeat part of my dexta scan because of this weird thing on my back.  Please, NOT NOW.  NOT ALL AT ONCE.   THIS FAMILY NEEDS A BREAK RIGHT NOW.


    Well.  Another depressing post.  You all know how much we love our dear dog so please let nothing serious be wrong with her.  And please let my BIL leave tomorrow so we all some peace there also.

   I am so worried for Zoey.  Please say some prayers for her.  She is just so sweet.