I survived

                       

             I survived and I'm sorry, It Hurt!  Yikes I don't remember it hurting that bad.  Maybe it was because my new small set is denser and maybe not 100 % recovered or maybe the woman's technique was poor, but this was the worse one I ever had.  "Hold your breath", she said, "don't breath or move!" "Can I scream", I asked!  She thought I was joking, I wasn't.  WWWHHHHAAAAAAA. 

    So then she says to sit in the dressing room while she checks the pictures to make sure they are OK.  The other woman there are looking at each others like survivors.  We Alone survived.  One by one the tech came in and released the lucky woman who sprang to their feet and happily ran.....free for another year.  My tech came out.  "OK Julie, I need to get one more picture"!  "NO" I cried, "Sob".  With dragging feet I followed her back to torture room number 5,  Cheerfully she said, "We might as well repeat both again to see if we can get a better picture".  What!  "Its just the scar tissue", I wailed!  So once again I was flattened to unbelievable thinness in the vice from hell.  I'll tell you anything I cried,.... you can have my first born........ Please, I'll be good from now on, no more cheating on my diet, no more tasting the grapes at the store, let this horror end soon.  And then it was my time to leave.  Cradling my sore and tender breasts in my arms I ran from the building into my husbands alarmed arms.  "Are you OK", he asked shocked!  Noooooooo, sob, yes yes.  It's over.  However next week the doctor gets back from vacation and will read it.  Well she ask to have the test repeated?  Is the horror not over yet?   Time will tell.

   Maybe by next week I will be completely invisible.  If you can't see my breasts they must be disease free.  Gone like my budda tummy how could they take pictures of them.  And I think I am getting more invisible.  At the store a woman ran into me with her cart.  Sorry she snapped, I did't see you.  Driving home a car almost ran into my car.  Does it spread to what I am riding in? 

    One of my feminist friends said my invisibility is due to "The use of ‘he’ ‘him’ rather than he/she, him/her or’ person’, promotes the invisibility of women and counters the need to present women as an important social category. It also negates 20 years of active efforts to promote the rights of women"  Hummmmmm, she always did have issues though.

    So I am off today.  Of course I didn't get to be until 11:30 and then only slept until 3:30 so I could sleep tonight.  And I have to study for my ACLS renewal.  That is advanced cardiac life support.  I hate this class.  It makes you run a code like your the doctor and you have to know all the heart rhythms, call out the drugs and doses and tell them what joules to use when shocking. 

    It didn't use to be so bad but we have so many drug changes these days and the woman who teaches the class is a very high strung type person who gets the entire class high strung.  It doesn't matter that in a real code the doctor calls for all the drugs and doses.  I could not imagine telling a couple of them, "excuse me but don't you think this drug would be a better choice?   Yah right, goodbye head".  I mean, I work in a trauma hospital, the code team is there so fast that I barely have time to start compressions and many times they beat the code cart.  I love that in a code team.  But....it is part of my job so I will spend tonight and tomorrow studing for the Wednesday class.  That will be a long day.  Class from 8 am to 12 noon,  then work from 7p to 7am.  I have to be charge that night at 11 so I will be tired.

   Well, I will close now and get busy with my homework.  Take care everyone.