Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Cold, Cold, Cold


    Well the weather outside is cold and in the 40's now, it did get to freezing last night.  My plants are safely tucked inside except for my in ground plants which I covered.  I am checking the weather to see if I still might get to go fishing.  Is it silly to drive 40 miles with the gas prices this high to fish especially since I am strickly catch and release?  I just can't kill the fish when I catch them, no stomach for it, but I love catching a lively one.  I am a lazy fisherman, now why isn't that surprising, and do it the old fashion way with a worm and bobber.  It is more the just sitting there not having to do anything that I like.  The way the light plays on the water, the warmth on my skin, the thrill of watching my bobber dip down and then take off with a fish.  I usually catch alot of fish also much to the shock of "real fisherman" near me with their fancy lures and high technology.  I broke the record on a bluegill I got with my micropole and 4 pound test line.  The fish was so big and fat I didn't recognize what type it was.  A man I asked said, " that's the biggest bluegill I have ever seen"!  Almost as big as his eyes when I gently let it go.  I noticed when we left he went to where I had been and started to fish.  I hope the fish didn't like his lures.  I also will use grasshoppers.  The bluegill and bass love them but they come off the hook very easily. 

    We had a large plane crash here some years ago. Flight 232.  I worked in outpatients that day and it was one of the worse days of my life.  So many injured people.  I was so proud of my hospital and town that day.  We did a great job.  It takes alot out of you though.  I almost felt shocky the day I left work hours later.  Fishing helped me get my head back on staight.  I wasn't meditating at that time, but fishing gives me the same feeling of peace and

   I have been doing some soul searching today about my weight loss efforts or poor effort lately.  I am feeling too content at the weight I am but I am a long way from goal.   I need to really, really, want to lose weight again like I did in the beginning.   I feel so much better now and I could feel even better.  I go along doing pretty good and then happily binge my way up a few pounds.  I never thought of myself as a binge eater before, but looking truthfully at my past eating habits I was and am.  No eating all day and then from supper on munching away all night at work on this and that.  I still have that terrible habit, even on my days off.  First supper, then an hour later I want my popcorn or multigrain, and then a hour later a carb freedom blackraspberry bar.  See how it adds up. And I think I am on plan because they are part of my diet foods I eat but they are mean't to be an occasional treat and then one or the other, not all of them.    I was religious about writing down on my food for months and could tell you exactly how many calories I had eaten on any given day.  I haven't done that for weeks.  Until this morning.  This all has to stop.  Am I just playing at this now or am I going to get off my amble behind and get back solidly on plan?   I am eating too much cheese,  too large of portions again, too many empty snacks.  Back to to keep track of my food.  I vow here and now to be 2 pounds lighter by this time next week and 8 pounds lighter by this time next month.  I restart the journey today.


   The defining characteristic of guarding alertness
   In brief is only this:
   To examine again and again
   The condition of mybody and mind.

   Therefore I shall put this way of life into actual practice,
   For what can be achieved by merely talking about it?
   Will a sick man be benefited
   Merely by reading the medical texts?

    -Santideva, "Bodhicaryavatara"



sugarsweet056 said...

It dropped down in 40's here too! Was in 70's a couple days ago! BRRRRR
I also love fisfing, but I'm a pole with worms & bugs type fisher woman. LOL I love catching fish! But since my health has deteriated I haven't been. :(
Re weight, you sound a lot like me...I need to get motivated & stay motivated. I do great for a while ,then BOOM! As I read what you wrote...I thought I could've been writing that!!!
Good luck!
Hugs, Sugar

lanurseprn said...

Love the fishing story!  Good luck staying on the diet plan.  I know it's hard.  I just lost some weight and have about 35 more to go.  It's a battle each day.  I'm in that stage like you were...just staying where I am.  Let us know how you are doing.