Wednesday, March 7, 2007

Funnies for the Ladies

  I got this in an email today so thought I would share.  The first cartoon looks just like me before my reduction, LOL. 

                         Womanhood


I know what Victoria's Secret is. The secret is that nobody older than 30 can fit into their stuff.

 The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.

Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.

Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness.

I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting my pantyhose on fire.

Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks two sizes!


Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like, "You know, sometimes I just forget to eat."

Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name, and my keys. But I've never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat.

 

A friend of mine confused her valium with her birth control pills. She had 14 kids, but she doesn't really care.

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him!

I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are: eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That is my idea of a perfect day. 

     So today is my last night of work.  Thank goodness.  It went by really fast yesterday and guess what?  I took the stairs and my knee didn't scream the entire time.  This darn thing might be healing after all. 

     Tomorrow will be a long day.  I get off at 7:30.  The funeral for my friend is at 10:30 and its an hour away.  Then I get my hair cut at 1:15 though I may cancel that.  And I could only sleep about 5 hours today.  I am going to have to call my doctor and get something for sleep for these days when I can't.  I hear that is a sign of getting older, oh the joys.

   Read today that Atkins beat out the zone and another for weight loss.  I lost really fast and actually loved that diet, yippy, blue cheese dressing again.  Bad thing, I love wheat pasta but I might give that a shot again to quickly take off the extra pounds I have put on being laid up.  Now if only I can stay healthy.  I got a special toothpaste today for people who are prone to canker sores.  Hope it helps as they are still driving me nuts.  Might ask the doc for a steroid dose pack again.  They put me on that last year when I got so bad and it cleared it up so fast.

   Well, thats all the news fit or unfit to print.  Now to visit everyone journals.  I finally finished my answers in the 2nd tournament.  The questions were really a bugger.  Take care all.

ll

7 comments:

kirkbyj05 said...

I'll fight you for the Title of who looks the same as the first cartoon...mine keep dipping into the gravy on my plate.  Bryan just rolls his eyes sufferingly to the ceiling when ever we have a  meal time with gravy.  Its a darned nuisance!  Lol!
I loved thees jokes especially the panty hose one.....woohoo!  Magical!  Just magical!   Jeanie

rbrown6172 said...

liked the funnies....a couple of em were really funny.  probably those i relate most to?  lol  what toothpaste are you referring to?  i have problems with canker sores, too...all my life.
gina

rdautumnsage said...

Thanks for the laughs hon!! I hope the toothpaste does the trick. I hate anyone having to take more medication. Sounds as if your really commited to staying healthy eating wise. Kudos to you!! (Hugs) Indigo

quiltsnroses said...

Those are hilarious and some too true!  Glad your knee is better and hope it does not start up again after your long day tomorrow.  I read that about Atkins too--interesting, huh?  It is so hard to give up all the white stuff.

jlocorriere05 said...

Sadly most of those are true for me!! I hope your knee continues to improve and you can get the steroid pack for your canker sores, must be so painful. Jeannette xx  http://journals.aol.co.uk/jlocorriere05/Welcometomytravels/  

lanurseprn said...

Those things were sooooo funny!  Thanks for sharing them and making me laugh.
Glad the knee is better.  
Pam

acoward15 said...

That one tag of the wowan in pink looks like she is trying to extract a tape worm!
http://journals.aol.co.uk/acoward15/andy-the-bastard/