Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Doc visit


    First of all thanks everyone for your kind words.   I may vent my frustration with my MIL, but I do love her very much. 

    Over the years she has always been one of those to cry wolf or say I can't.  We have learned what things she can do and encouraged her to do them, but as things do get so she really can't we have been taking over.  My FIL had always done everything and she never learned to do anything for herself, or wanted to.  She also always makes a mountain out of molehill so after many false scares we learn to really question her when she says she is dying.  This time though I am truly worried about her. 

    A few years ago she had a stent put in her heart.  They told her she had the heart of a 60 year old.  She called all our relatives and told them she had a heart attack and was near death.  We got all the same calls then, why didn't we tell them she was sooooo ill and near death.  We told them she wasn't but she likes the attention.  Even now she is thrilled with the attention she is getting. Who knows what she has been telling them.  

   But now she is really sick.  She has lost 10 pounds in 2 months.  She is thin to start with.  Her color is awful.  We signed papers at the doctors so I can get her medical information.  Tuesday she is getting an EGD and a colonoscopy followed by a cat scan of her abd. They did a ton of lab work, all the stuff I wanted drawn. They will check her gallbladder, pancreas, liver.   Her doctor was really good about it.  I was also concerned when I found out she wasn't sure what month it was.  She has gotten pretty weak.  I just feel like something really bad is going on.  Hope I am wrong.

    I did tell our relatives that we go there every day.  I send supper over most days and we take her shopping.  I help with the housework, but she likes to do it herself.  In the good weather she is here 1 to 2 times a week to eat and I was dragging her to the gym with me 3 times a week when I was going regularly.  We don't ignore her.  But sometimes she doesn't remember us being there, sometimes she doesn't remember much of anything.  And I think sometimes she just forgets to eat.  Its sad.  Why do you have to get sick when you get older.  Isn't getting older enough?


coelha said...

It's sooo frustrating..  My father did everything for my mother when he was alive.  My mother is in fairly good health, but ever since she broke her hip late last year, I'm reminded that she is getting older.  I'm worried, about the years to come.  She can be stubborn sometimes too--I caught her moving the dining room table only weeks after getting hip surgery!!  Julie :)  Be thankful she still has energy to do some housework--it probably makes her feel useful.  It must be sooo frustrating for her as well.  

kirkbyj05 said...

I's as if life isn't cruel enough Julie.  At least you have got the ball rolling regarding her tests and getting to the bottom of all her worrying symptoms. I hope I never get so frail stubborn and forgetfull. I would rather go quickly. Bryan's recent ill health has made me even more aware of how much he does for me.  I must start making changes there. Anyway....I hope the sun is shining for you all when you awake...if it is or was I sent it to you.   Lol!    Jeanie

rdautumnsage said...

Sometimes in those rare instances if we take care of ourselves, we get a chance to enjoy growing older. I think the hardest thing for most elderly people is the clock turns things around on them. They end up being turned into children who need an adult to take care of them. That in itself can't be easy, the independence and security of not being able to deal with life on life's terms. I know you care for your MIL and I've also seen some pretty stubborn and cranky old people too. You can only do what you can do for her. Your MIL kind of needs to try to be a little more , patient and understanding. I think your right though , she may be forgetting your there . Is it a possiblity she is in the early stages of Alzheimers? Your a saint for looking out for her and having the test run trying to help her deal with whatever is going on with her. (Hugs) Indigo

demandnlilchit said...

I remember when my DH's Grandmother dropped that kind of weight that turned out to be colon cancer..which she kicked ;) and lived to be 84...dementia started around her 80th b-day. Thank you for kind support with me through all my mess....I'm here to lean on too if you need to!


cacklinrosie101 said...

Julie, this has to be so frustrating and worrisome, especially with you being a nurse.  It's good that she's getting the full check-up.  I agree that it's a shame that when we reach the golden years there's ill health to look forward to.  Keep us posted.  Chris

jckfrstross said...

oh man it doesn't sound good keeping MIL in prayer


daddyleer said...

"Why do you have to get sick when you get older.  Isn't getting older enough?" That question could become the mantra for the future. Medical science can prolong life but not the quality of life. Care comes back full circle to family where it all began.

radar446 said...

I know its tough, I'm going through similar stuff with my Mother.  I hope it all works out.


jlocorriere05 said...

I hope they can find out what's wrong with your MIL. My friend lost a lot of weight a few years back and looked awful, she went down to less than 70lbs. It turned out, after a year of tests that she had a small bowel infection. Let's hope the catscan and tests will reveal what's wrong. Jeannette xx  

ukgal36 said...

aww... doesn't soung good does it?  hopefully we are wrong...will keep her in prayer..

lanurseprn said...

I'm glad they are doing all of these tests.  I feel bad for her.  I agree with you....getting old should be enough!  
She's lucky to have you.