Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Driven to Drink!


I love my MIL, I do, I do, I do....Hummmmmmm.............. I love my MIL. Say it 100 times a day and it is true. Spend the afternoon making Medisterpølse with her and you may need to remind yourself of that fact often. I now know more about my MIL bowels then I ever, and I repeat EVER wanted to know. Trust me. This nurse does not want to know what your stools look like on her day off. I don't want to know how often you go, how hard it is for you to go, how many days it has been since you went and all the suffering you went through before you go to that point. Did she do any of the 500 suggestions I have given her for the last 33 years to alieviate her discomfort? Take any of the safe laxatives I so lovingly researched, printed off and gave to her? Did she even try to increase her fruit and do more then lay on the couch? NOOOOOOOOOOO.

Check out our sausage making pictures, Maybe it is that that makes her think about her bowel, how could you not think about your bowel doing this, or something sexual which is what my husband thinks about. Caution, graphic sausage making pictures included.

She is going to the doctors tomorrow......again......... What are you going to tell him I ask? Are you going to be straight to the point or do the type of rambling dialogue that so drives me absolutely crazy? What do you mean she asks. OK, take this mornings phone call. I will print it verbatim:

Ummmm, Julie, I am in alot of pain this morning and and I took a pill and it didn't help and tried to go to the bathroom and I felt like I needed to go and I couldn't and I put in one of those glycerin things and I finally went but its.... but...hummmm.....and I wanted to talk to you before you went to the store, call me will you before you go to the store. Say What!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How do you make any sense of that conversation? What are you going to tell the doctor in the morning I ask?

That my back hurts really bad.....OK Good

That I am constipated.......Good.

That my arm hurts and I have chigger bites, and my thumb hurts and my heart pounds and my head hurts and I can't sleep and I my toe hurts and my lungs hurt and my.....................

Write it down, write it all down and give your doctor a list.

So later at the bar, sipping on a nice Bully Porter. Feeling like a terrible DIL because my sweet MIL is driving me to drink. And answering the phone...... Julie?????????? What did you want me to tell the doctor tomorrow????????????

Excuse me, could I have one more porter please.....................



inquestoftruth said...

ROFL!   This whole entry hilarious!  (well, the sausage thing was a little gross, but the comments about it were funny! lol)  My mom is almost that way, only she just about won't take any of the meds the drs. give her!    Mom's and MIL's  Ya gotta love 'em.

cacklinrosie101 said...

Aw, can be maddening but just look what we have to look forward to.  Lord, I hope my mind is clear as a bell at that age but I have a feeling I'm going to be drooling in a corner somewhere. Lots of luck and have a Porter for me, please.  HUGS Chris

lanurseprn said...

Julie, you had me laughing!!  So funny!  I'm so sorry it's so hard.  Have a drink...make that two....for me ok?

jlocorriere05 said...

This entry was funny, your MIL sounds too much for me to cope with! I hope her doctor can help her! Bless her! Jeannette xx