Thanks to everyone for their well wishes and prayers.
Its true. As a nurse I am more then aware of the hell the next few months may be on my MIL. It chills me to think about it. I slept terrible. Your brain just can't shut up and let you sleep when you get news like this. I was expecting bad news last week. Then her lab came back good. And her scopes came back good. And I breathed a sigh of relief at being wrong, so was completely taken by surprise when the doctor told me. Knocked the air right out of me and I am grateful there was a chair nearby or I would have fallen. My knees just went out on me. Glancing at my husband I saw the pain and shock in his eyes when he understood the news I was getting.
Having to tell my MIL was so hard. It really sucks being the nurse sometimes. The one who is suppose to have all the answers and be really really strong. And I will be. It will just take me awhile to get my bearing again. I moved in and took care of my father in law when he died. I will do the same thing for my MIL if it looks like this isn't something she will survive. And the doctor gave me very little if any hope. The scans must have really looked bad for them to be so honest so soon. And she wins. She stays in her beloved house. I will make sure of it.
by Geoff G. Turner
My sadness today knows no bounds
As I sit here attempting to scribble verbs and nouns
I cannot laugh; I sigh and frown
My thoughts are confused; I can't think clear
Whilst you are far away, yet physically near
I speak – I do not know if you can hear
I cannot begin to understand
Why are you being taken from this land?
Have you been selected for some eternal plan?
And now as the end of your life draws near
I do not know what to do, or say – I fear
That each breath you breathe will be the last I hear