Thursday, April 5, 2007

Thank You

          

        Thanks to everyone for their well wishes and prayers. 

      Its true.  As a nurse I am more then aware of the hell the next few months may be on my MIL.  It chills me to think about it.  I slept terrible.   Your brain just can't shut up and let you sleep when you get news like this.  I was expecting bad news last week.  Then her lab came back good.  And her scopes came back good.  And I breathed a sigh of relief at being wrong, so was completely taken by surprise when the doctor told me.  Knocked the air right out of me and I am grateful there was a chair nearby or I would have fallen.  My knees just went out on me.  Glancing at my husband I saw the pain and shock in his eyes when he understood the news I was getting.

                                  

       Having to tell my MIL was so hard.  It really sucks being the nurse sometimes.  The one who is suppose to have all the answers and be really really strong.  And I will be.  It will just take me awhile to get my bearing again.  I moved in and took care of my father in law when he died.  I will do the same thing for my MIL if it looks like this isn't something she will survive.  And the doctor gave me very little if any hope.  The scans must have really looked bad for them to be so honest so soon.  And she wins.  She stays in her beloved house.  I will make sure of it.

       

Helpless
by Geoff G. Turner

My sadness today knows no bounds
As I sit here attempting to scribble verbs and nouns
I cannot laugh; I sigh and frown
I'm helpless

My thoughts are confused; I can't think clear
Whilst you are far away, yet physically near
I speak – I do not know if you can hear
I'm helpless

I cannot begin to understand
Why are you being taken from this land?
Have you been selected for some eternal plan?
I'm helpless

And now as the end of your life draws near
I do not know what to do, or say – I fear
That each breath you breathe will be the last I hear
I'm helpless

12 comments:

lanurseprn said...

Again, I'm so sorry Julie.  Spend good time with her and Rick now.  Make this one a really special Easter.
Pam

blazensun said...

Julie so sorry about your MIL. prayers will be with you and her.

Sunny

rbrown6172 said...

{{{{julie}}}} you will be in my prayers.  God bless you and give you strength.
gina

kirkbyj05 said...

May God bless you and your family!  And may He give you strength too.  Letting go is not easy Julie but holding hands until then is comforting for all.  <Hugs>   Jeanie xx

coelha said...

She is truly blessed to have someone like you as a daughter-inlaw.  Having been in a situation similar to yours, my heart goes out to you.  Don't forget to take care of yourself too!  Hugs -  Julie

inquestoftruth said...

Julie....we're praying for you all....I'm so sorry....
Strong you are, and strong you will be.
~Meg

jckfrstross said...

i am so sorry julie:( keeping all in prayer

Deb

madcobug said...

You are a good daughter in law Julie. She is blessed to have you in her family. You know when my Mother had cancer she started forgetting to do things. Her mind got really bad. I think maybe this is God's way to keep them from worrying so much. Helen

rdautumnsage said...

Dear one, I wish there was something I could say or do to make everything alright. But we both know that can't happen. Your MIL is blessed to have you there for her. You will have a lot on your shoulders for some time hon, please remember to take care of yourself as well. I'm here if you need to talk. I'm keeping your family in my prayers on the smoke. (Hugs) Indigo

cacklinrosie101 said...

Aw, Julie, the wind really had to have been knocked out of you seeing that the labs were so good.  It wasn't like you could even suspect.  I know it has to be so hard on you being the strong one.  Your MIL is so fortunate to have a DIL who will take such good care of her.  Chris

jlocorriere05 said...

Your MIL is so lucky to have a wonderful DIL like you. I'm praying for all of you that she can be helped although it does sound bad. I'm glad she'll be able to stay in her house, I think she'll be very grateful for that. Jeannette xx  http://journals.aol.co.uk/jlocorriere05/Welcometomytravels/  

motoxmom72 said...

I am so sorry that the bad news knocked you for a loop.  My Grandma and cousin both passed away from Pancreatic Cancer.  Your MIL has a wonderful DIL in you.  God Bless.  You are all in my prayers.
Hugs,
Gina
http://journals.aol.com/motoxmom72/GinasWeigtLossJourney