Saturday, April 14, 2007

More funnies

Subject:  Signs to be aware of when traveling
Lost in Translation - Signs to Be Aware of When Traveling

              In a Bangkok temple"
        "IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER, IF DRESSED AS A
MAN"

        Cocktail lounge, Norway:
        "LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR."

        Doctor's office, Rome"
        "SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES."

        Dry cleaners, Bangkok:
        "DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS."

        In a Nairobi restaurant:
        "CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER."

        On the Athi River highway, the main road to Mombasa, leaving
Nairobi.
        "TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS
IMPASSABLE."

        On a poster in Kencom:
        "ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READY? IF SO, WE CAN HELP."

        In a New York City restaurant:
        "OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS."

        A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer:
        'DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS."

        In a cemetery:
        "PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN
GRAVES."

        Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:
        "GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS
IN BED."

        On a menu of a Swiss restaurant:
        "OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR."

        In a Tokyo bar:
        "SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS."

        Hotel, Yugoslavia:
        "THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE
CHAMBERMAID."

        Hotel, Japan:
        "YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID."

        In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox
monastery:
        "YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND
SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY."

        A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:
        "IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN IN OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE THAT
PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE
TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE."

        Hotel, Zurich:
        "BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE
SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS
PURPOSE."

        Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:
        "WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?"

        The box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong:
        "GUARANTEED TO WORK THROUGHOUT ITS USEFUL LIFE."

        In a Swiss mountain inn:
        "SPECIAL TODAY - NO ICE CREAM."

        Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:
        "WE TAKE BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS."

        A laundry in Rome:
        "LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A
GOOD TIME."
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Elderly Prenuptial Agreement

An elderly couple in their 80's were about to get married.

She said: I want to keep my house.
He said: that's fine with me.

She said: And I want to keep my Cadillac.
He said: That's fine with me.

She said: And I want to have sex 6 times a week.
He said: That's fine with me...Put me down for Fridays..

5 comments:

inquestoftruth said...

If he gets it every Friday, he's already doin' better than Ole Boy.   Heh
~Meg
PS Funny post!

kirkbyj05 said...

I loved the comment below....I can't stop chuckling!   Lol!  it was just as funny as the 'Funnies'.  
Thanks for this Julie...laughter certainly is the best medicine.
Jeanie

innxdoor said...

Hahahaha I love it! Thank you for getting me in a better mood :)))))))))0
Hugs and have a happy tomorrow :))))))))Doreen

erarein63 said...

You're too funny, and so are these!  De ;)

rdautumnsage said...

Thanks for the laughs hon!! (Hugs) Indigo