Thursday, April 26, 2007


      It has rained for 3 days and is getting very old.  Sunshine please.  I start back to work tonight so I suppose this weekend will be lovely.

      We have been pretty busy with my MIL this week.  She fell the other day and it turns out her BP was pretty low.  We are still having blood pressure problems.  She has gotten very weak.   

   Yesterday the funeral people came over and she planned and paid for her funeral.  Today we are going to the bank.  The bereavement lady gave us the best advice we have gotten so far.  She should be our lawyer LOL

   Today Rick is taking control of my MIL's bank accounts.  They are cashing in her annuity also.  It will cost them 1% but if it goes to probate it will cost them 6% to the lawyer.  This lady said the lawyer wants you to leave all the money as is because he gets 6% of the estate.  We knew he got paid, but not that much. That is why he was so obscure about answering our questions. 

    We are also having my MIL deed the house to my husband with her retaining right to life occupancy.  As long as she is alive she gets to live there.  I am going to do that with my house also.  Deed it to my son with us retaining that right.  I promised him I will not leave him with a mess like this and I am going to stop saving everything in case I ever lose enough weight to wear it again, LOL.  Then the house doesn't go into probate and we can go about getting rid of everything and take our time.  She has saved everything.  I have clothes her mother wore!  100 years ago! Every card my MIL ever got is storedsomewhere in the house.130 years worth of pictures.  It will be a nightmare.

   We talked to my BIL finally last night.  He has been difficult to get hold of.  Basically we told him how things are being handled and assured him he would get his split, but he was just going to have to trust us.  He does plan on coming up and taking her car.  We told him no, how are we going to get her around.  She can't get into the van easily or our low 2 door.  He will just have to wait. We have to get this stuff done quickly and we can't get him to commit to when he is coming back.  We made sure to tell him his mother wanted him up here soon and that she was not going to be here as long as they said originally.

    She is handling all this pretty well.  She feels bad it is so messed up and didn't realize the problems doing a will that way would create.  Since she was a spouse when my FIL died it wasn't a problem.  Everything went to her.  She doesn't want the lawyer to get such a big share and doesn't want us to have to pay anything out of pocket.  I will just be so glad when all this is finished so we can just enjoy our last days with her without messing around with all these issues. 

   Stress is taking its toll.  My IBS is totally out of control and Ricks blood pressure is through the roof even with meds.  Gee, I handled this much better 6 years ago when my FIL was ill.  Then though all I had to worry about was keeping him comfortable.  I want to get to that stage with my MIL soon.  It is almost a blessing to go to work and leave it behind for awhile, but then I worry about her and I worry about a million other things that come with running two houses.  I never used to worry.  I have been meditating which helps.  Taking a sleeping pill so I sleep well at night which helps me go go go during the day.  The days are flying by.  A new month is almost on us.

   So my entried are going to slow down.  I miss my carefree days of picture taking and bike rides but I will get them back.  This is more important now.  I have been reading journals on the run and haven't always had time to comment but take care all.



madcobug said...

Glad that you and Rick are seeing that things get done that need doing. That's a beautiful butterfly. Hope works goes well for you this work period. Helen

kirkbyj05 said...

Julie please take time out for both of yourselves...o.k.? Allow yourselves one day/afternoon each week at least until you have to say goodbye to Betty.  How very brave she is to take all of this on herself without giving up.  How very stressful for you and your husband too.  Never worry about your friends here on AOL.  We are in it for the long run my friend.  We will still be here for you to offload onto and to help you unwind.  As for leaving messages on folks journals?  We will all understand.  Just please take time out away from everything.  Even if it is just to go for a walk together.  Take care my friend. Prayers will be said each night for her comfort and yours too..  Hugs   Jeanie

rdautumnsage said...

Beautiful butterfly! Hopefully when all is said and done you can break out of your own cocoon and fly free as a butterfly yourself. Your BIL makes me sick that the only concern he has is getting his mothers car and his share......Meanwhile I worry over you and Rick doing so much. Try in all this mess to get a little "Me" time for yourself. Your in my thoughts and prayers on the smoke dear one!! (Hugs) Indigo

P.S. Dont worry about commenting we are all behind you and thinking about you here. I would rather see you get some time to yourself than worry about leaving comments. (Hugs) Indy

jckfrstross said...

so glad everything is getting handled:) enjoy your weekend :)


erarein63 said...

You are having stressful days, no wonder you look forward to work.  I know it is difficult, but you know your MIL really appreciates, loves you, and trusts you enough to help her handle her affairs.  That has to mean alot.  You and Rick take a breather so you don't get so worn out, and take care of yourself.  De ;)

linnpooh said...

I'm praying for you Julie, I'm so worried you are going to get sick from the stress of it all. I admire you so much for all you are doing for your MIL but take some time for yourself too so you don't get too worn out.

Pooh Hugs,

cacklinrosie101 said...

I'm glad you are getting all of this handled now.  My mother did basically the same thing.  My brother is like your BIL only mine is very good at being sneaky about it.  There's always one.  Now, try and get some time for just you and Rick.  I know easier said than done.  Praying for all of you.  Chris

inquestoftruth said...

ah, OK.   Now I see why you haven't posted in a few days....  and I'm going to miss keeping up with you.   Please try to keep us informed, but of course not at yours or your family's expense!    Hang in there....  will be praying for you.