Friday, April 20, 2007

Friday picture day

     Today I have to go to work and get my name badge picture retaken.  I haven't had it done for around 10 years.   The picture on it now shows me with curly permed hair and younger and fatter.  Although the younger part looks good I think an updated picture is in order.

     We went to the lawyer yesterday.  So upsetting.  If you have been reading for awhile you know I am sole support.  My husband isn't working.  So financial worries fall to me.  The way my MIL has the will done everything will be divided evenly between my husband and BIL.  Sounded simple and straightforward.  What we found out though is as soon as she passes away we won't be able to touch her funds or life insurance until the estate is settled.  It won't be settled until the house and car and all belongings are sold and equally divided.  That means if the funeral expenses go over her small life insurance policy I will have to come up with the money.  If the house doesn't sell for 2 years I will have to pay the utility bills and taxes and insurance.  If I can't pay it would probably be sold for back taxes.  That is how my father got all his property, bought other peoples houses that they lost for back taxes.

    I am freaking out.  We had no idea.  My MIL did not mean to leave me in this position, she didn't understand, nor did we, what this would mean.  So we have to figure out a way to do this where I won't get stuck. 

    Yikes.  Another worry,  I needed was getting to calm.  The lawyer wasn't much help actually either.  He did say the way it was worded if my BIL decided to move into the house and slow down the sell of the house by keeping it dirty and not fixed up there was nothing I could do about it.  Of course my MIL doesn't think her baby boy would do something like that but I do.  Calgon take me away.

    Now I don't know about the rest of the country, but big old 100 year old houses aren't selling rapidly in this town.  The young folks all want those big blocky houses and the older folks don't want a big old house to take care of.

    J-land.   Any suggestions.  Help, help, help.  Do I run now and not look back.  Leave them to this mess and start over.  AAARRRGGGGHHHH.



inquestoftruth said...

Man, what some problems.   I expect BIL won't be much help with the bills, will he?    
I suggest going ahead and talking with a real estate agent.   Explain the full situation, and let them start some "undercover" work on finding a buyer.   Sounds morbid, I know.   But that would give you a jump on finding a buyer, since running is really not an option (though tempting at times, I'm sure.)    The quicker you get a buyer, the less time BIL has to plant himself to the house.

daddyleer said...

I had a similar challenge with a brother addicted to all the wrong things while trying to settle my parents' estate. In the months preceding death I was assigned "durable general power of attorney" until death and my Father modified his will naming me sole "executor" upon death. I could then legally control my brother's attempted occupancy of their home and reimburse myself "off the top" before any split from the estate for out of pocket expenses such as you mentioned, taxes, home repairs, etc. ... You also most correctly pointed out the reduced market in estate sale of property. It works backwards because you just want to get out from under expenses. It all is difficult because while trying to think and act legally and logically there is a tide of emotions and intangibles to wade through.

springangel235 said...

I am dealing with my Mom's affairs, since her passing much to deal with.  I, myself love an old house...but a realtor hopefully will give you some ideas...on the selling of the old home.  Hope all goes well...hugs and love,

jckfrstross said...

good luck:)


madcobug said...

What a mess they will leave you in. The BIL will probably move back once she is gone, that way he won't have to help take care of her. I feel like if you all are going to take care of her the house should be yours. Helen

lanurseprn said...

She's still alive, can she change the will? Add you to her accounts?  Or make a one time gift to you and Rick to cover funeral expenses?  There used to be a law that says you could get a one time gift of $10K without paying taxes. Years ago it was in effect. I don't know how that would work now. But, that would be enough to cover the funeral I should think.  Or she could go and prepay for her funeral.  There must be something you can do.  I hope so don't need that worry.

cacklinrosie101 said...

Ugh, Julie, I suppose talking to your MIL and getting her to amend the will would do no good.  I"m in a similar situation with my mother, although she is still healthy.  My brother wants it all.  My mother just can't see his greed.  I wanted to see the will.  She had to ask him because it's in his safe.  Yuck....I think the only recourse for you now is to try and get your MIL to modify that will.  Praying for you...Chris

radar446 said...

I have been experiencing some of the same things this past month with my Mother.  I have come to the conclusion that I can't find all the answers.  At this point I am winging it, so I had better not offer much advice.


erarein63 said...

Get on HGTV and do the program "BUY ME" or "Designed to Sell".  Have you thought about moving your MIL in with you guys instead of the other way around?  That way you could start fixing it up now and getting it ready for sale.  You said your MIL was straight forward, maybe she would be willing to do this.  Sorry you are having to go through all this.  Since your husband doesn't work, is he able to do handyman jobs, or is he on disability?  Just a couple of thoughts.  De ;)

linnpooh said...

{{{Julie}}} I'll be praying for you.

Pooh Hugs,