Friday, February 23, 2007

This is for all my Southern Friends.

  I got this in an email and thought it was a hoot.  So here it is.

                              Southern Talk

Someone once noted that a Southerner can get away with the most awful kind of insult just as long as it's prefaced with the words, "Bless her heart" or "Bless his heart." As in, "Bless his heart, if they put his brain on the head of a pin, it'd roll around like a BB on a 6-lane highway."

I was thinking about this the other day when a friend was telling about her new transplanted northern friend who was upset because her toddler is just beginning to talk and he has a Southern accent. My friend, who is very kind and, bless her heart, cannot do a thing about those thighs of hers, was justifiably miffed about this. After all, this woman had CHOSEN to move to South a couple of years ago.  "Can you believe it?" said her friend, "A child of mine is going to be "taaaallllkkin liiiike thiiiissss."

Now, don't get me wrong. Some of my dearest friends are from the North, bless their hearts. I welcome their perspective, their friendships, and their recipes for authentic Northern Italian food. I've even gotten past their endless complaints that you can't find good bread down here.  And the heathens, bless their hearts, don't like cornbread!

I have a friend from Bawston, bless her heart, who thinks it's hilarious when I say I've got to "carry" my daughter to the doctor or "cut off" the light. She also gets a giggle every time I am "fixin" to do something. And, bless their hearts, they don't even know where "over yonder" is, or what "I reckon" means!

My personal favorite was my aunt, saying, "Bless her heart, she cain't help being ugly, but she could'uh stayed home."

Southern girls know bad manners when they see them:
1. Drinking straight out of a can.
2. Not sending thank you notes.
3. Velvet after February.
4. White shoes before Memorial Day or after Labor Day.

Southern girls always say:
1. "Yes Maam."
2. "Yessir."

Southern girls have a distinct way with fond expressions:
1. "Yawl come back."
2. "Well, bless yer harrt."
3. "Drop by when ya can."
4. "How's yer mama?"
5. "Love yer hair."

Southern girls know their three R's:
1. Rich
2. Richer
3. Richest
(Can I get an Amen?!)

Southern girls know everybody's first name:
1. Hunny
2. Darlin'
3. Schuga

Southern girls know the movies that speak to their hearts:
1. "Gone With the Wind"
2. " Fried Green Tomatoes"
3. "Driving Miss Daisy"
4. "Steel Magnolias"

Southern girls know the three deadly sins:
1. Bad hair
2. Bad manners
3. Bad blind dates

G.R.I.T.S. = Girls Raised in The South !

Now you run along, Shuger, and send this to ANY females aspiring to be GRITS--Even the northern ones, "Bless Their Hearts".


jlocorriere05 said...

That's great Julie, it gave me a laugh too! Thanks for sharing it! Have a great weekend. Jeannette xx  

ladeeoftheworld said...

I love  When I was growing up my grandmother used to tell me to go play out yonder.  I would go outside and sit next to Grandpa's strawberry patch because I didn't know where "out yonder" was.  

lanurseprn said...

LMAO the funny thing is some of this is TRUE! LOL! My family is from ALABAMA!!!  Right in the heart of it.  Bless their hearts!!

bethjunebug said...

Well Bless yer heart! All of that is true!! I should know, Born and bred here in Virginia. LOL! Southern folks don't know any strangers, they wave and everybody. I remember when my oldest sister and her husband moved here from Illinois. Someone would wave at them, just being neighborly and they would get mad, and say "who the hell are they waving at, I don't know them."  Just being nice, thats all folks.
Love ya,
Liz in Va.

innxdoor said...

Well Bless yer heart and have a blessed day miss mid west. What a cute entry you posted today fer all us southern'nrs! We sure preciate it all! Been livin down here might be goin on bout over 30 year's now and I tend to like the northern visitors so I can turn my yankee accent back on and throw out a few "aint's, aint not, youse guys and a few other ones! One you did forget and I will close with is "don't make me open a can of whoop ass on you" peace out ..yo mama haha...

cacklinrosie101 said...

ROFL....this is too cute and true.  Gotta love the Scarlet O'Hara's.  Love the picture also.  Chris

quiltsnroses said...

Schuga, you made my day!

springangel235 said...

Yep, I've heard them all...great being Southern!  I enjoyed...hugs,

radar446 said...

Well Bless yo' little heart.  Being southern is wonderful I do declare.