Wednesday Morning

 

I knew my body had gotten totally out of shape, so I
got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and
start exercising.

        I decided to start with an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, laid down, got up, gyrated, jumped up and down, pulled up, looked down, and perspired for an hour;But, by the time my leotards were finally on,the class was over.

Yesterday we had a really nice day.  I did 2 hours of water aerobics while my husband worked out.  After a nice salad for lunch we went to the movies and saw The Worlds Fastest Indian.  We had the whole theater to ourselves, felt like rich people.  The movie was excellent and one of those splices of life movies that I really like.  Then for supper we had spagetti with wheat noodles, steamed brussels spouts and another salad with red wine.  Felt like a good day diet wise.  I also had some more vanilla sugar free ice cream which is so good.  I feel fat today though.  I swear even though the scale says I haven't, I feel like I have gained 10 pounds.  My chin feels fatter and my stomach feels fatter.  I FEEL FATTER.  Doesn't it ever stop!  Maybe I really need to feel this fat to stay on course.  If I felt thin and attractive I would feel no need to get my butt off to the gym.

     I want a day to go by when I am not thinking about how to lose weight or how I need to lose weight, or why I can't lose weight.  When I am down to 140 will I have days like that?  When I am down to 140 will I feel like I need to lose more?  I can't imagine what it will be like but from what I have read it is something I will struggle with forever.

   For supper tonight we are having green onion brats.  I eat mine without a bun.  They are one of those foods I have never been able to find a good calorie breakdown for.  They could be 900 calories for all I know.  That does worry me.  We usually have some type of baked steak fires or tator tots and a veggie.  I am hungry for beets so may make them.  I try to have a huge salad with meals like this and count out my alotted tater tots or fries.  My weight seems to be stuck and I am afraid after this long my body is just to used to the calories I take in.  I try to vary my calories from 1200 to 2000 but am not as careful about counting all my calories up like I used to.  I can't seem to get back into the swing of writing it all down again.  But I am feeling stronger in my resolve again.  My meditations have been going well and  I feel centered.  I saw a blue jay at the feeders today and it is starting to look like spring.  If it is warm enough today I may get my bike out.  Most of the snow is gone and the breeze has a slightly warm feel to it.  My trees are budding out.  Spring, spring, spring,  love it.

    I have been having more and more bouts of chest pain lately.  During water aerobics yesterday, at the gym the day before.  Woke me up from a sound sleep the other day.  It is worrisome.  I am thinking I will have to get my nitro refilled, but then I will have to see my doctor to get it and she will insist on expensive tests and I just can't afford it right now.  Just give me the darn medication.  I have started taking my aspirin a day again.  I got out of the habit before surgery when I couldn't take it.  My blood pressure has been wonderful though and I wonder if it is referred pain from my shoulder which is still acting up.  My husband is having more episodes of A-Fib also.  The better we eat the more ours hearts act up.  Are old bodies are fighting this healthy way of life we are living now, lol.

  We had a good workout at the gym today.  I did the treadmill for my usual 1/2 hour but I sped it up to 36 which is pretty fast for me.  I am upset that a couple the weight machines I use alot are still broken.  The ab one which I like so much better then the one up stairs, although the one upstairs probaby does more and the lower back machine.  I feel like I pay pretty good to belong to this gym and the machines being broke for longer then a week ticks me off.  Then I went upstairs and worked out on some of the muscle mens machines and did some free weights.  I have to admit some of the testosterone men up there crack me up.  Slamming down these heavy weights on the floor and pumping there muscles in front of the mirrors.  I realize the mirrors are there so you can make sure you are maintaining proper form but I hate catching a glimpse of my sweaty red face.