Mind work

   This is the 2nd time I am typing this as I forgot to save it.  Bummer.

  I did water aerobics this morning for one hour.  I will go back this afternoon and work on the weight ciruit and treadmill.   I was trying to get a good picture of me in my old pants that I can't wear anymore because even with elastic waist they are too large, but photobucket is down.  I am so dissapointed in my stomach.  I can see the weight loss in my arms, legs and my round swedish face somewhat, but very little in my stomach.  I have had so many surgeries I wonder if it will every shrink.  I should have taken better before pictures so I could really remind myself of how much I have lost.  I am already forgetting what I looked like 37 pounds ago.  I can walk around and feel so good and lighter and then I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and get a rude reminder of how far I have to go yet.  I have been doing some visualization of how I will look when I am slim and healthy when I meditate.  Maybe I should concentrate on feeling better about myself here and now.  I am a kind person.  People are alive today because I chose the profession I do.  I am never mean or rude to anybody and am a very accepting person to everyone but myself.  I need to work on that and had thought I was getting better but as I was taking the pictures of me in those pants I realized I still need to work on that.  I am worthy of committing so much time to myself.  I am worth it. 

   For breakfast today just slim fast due to swim.  Lunch was my favorite spinach and salmon salad.  I am making that blackened chicken for supper.  Later tonight I am going out to listen to some live jazz and maybe have some nice wine.  When Rick gets home I also am going to go to Fashion Bug and see about a nice new outfit.  I have no idea what size pants I wear now and am tired of my clown cloths.  I also am expecting to hear about whether or not I go approved for surgery soon.  I would be thrilled if I can get the reduction.  My breasts have not shrunk even a little.  My husband had some biopsies done Monday and I think we will hear on them today also.