I finally got a bike ride in. Man I didn't think I was ever going to be able to ride the bike. First this morning we had a meeting with hospice. That went well. My stress level may be decreasing soon. Keep your fingers crossed. Then we went for a 10 mile ride.
It distresses me to see how out of condition I am. I found this ride hard and had to use my inhaler. Memories of last years 44 mile rides went floating in my brain. But reality sets in. This is not last year. I haven't had time to ride much. Different priorities took first place. Still, Soaring along, 16 miles a hour...slow I know to any racers reading this, the wind in my hair, my heart bursting with joy and too much blood pumping at once. Just a good time. The Widmers at the end of ride, in a frosty mug, heaven.....just heaven. The cool shower after we got home, more heaven. It is the little things.
Last night we watched the Deep Blue on my sons big screen TV. How beautiful all the ocean fish and whales blowing water in the air. Very calming which is what I am trying to fix my sites on these day. I find myself meditating 3 times a day these days. Trying not to blow. Like the whale. Thar she goes. It would be messy if I do blow. I want to maintain my self control for awhile yet. So MIL doesn't get hurt. Because BIL has definitely set my wrath focused on him.
As a nurse I understand addictions. But. I do not think you should forgive them their sins because they have a problem. I believe they have to be held accountable to their sins. If they can blame everything, all their faults and problems on their terrible addiction..... how will they come to win over their problems. They are defeated before they try. He has brought shame to his family...him and no one else. Only he can change the way he is. And he had better change...or leave soon.
OK, the joke for the men.
_A man was stranded on a desert island for 10 years. One day a beautiful girl swims to shore in a wetsuit.... Man: "Hi! Am I ever happy to see you."
Girl: "Hi! It seems like you've been here a long time. How long has it been since you've had a cigarette?"
Man: "It's been ten years!" With this information the girl unzips a slot on the arm of her wet suit and gives the man a cigarette.
Man: "Oh thank you so much!"
Girl: "So tell me how long its been since you had a drink?"
Man: "It's been ten years" The girl unzips a little longer zipper on her wet suit and comes out with a flask of whiskey and gives the man a drink.
Man: "Oh... thank you so much. You are like a miracle!"
Girl: [Starting to unzip the front of her wet suit.] "So tell me then, how long has it been since you played around?"
Man: "Oh, my God, don't tell me you've got a set of golf clubs in there too?!"_________________________________