Saturday, June 2, 2007

R& R day

      A busy day today.  First I had to go and get some glassware I am listing for that old couple.   It is sad going through other peoples closets.  What things they discard, special things given to them by friends.  Things that should be special left behind.  Why do I save anything.  How must my son's feel looking at the things I save and wondering how they will get rid of it all when the time comes.  Then I think,  Who cares, I enjoy it now and I don't care what happens to it when I am dead and gone.  So that is how I think.

   We had a fun day today.  We went to one of our favorite places to eat.  They have a gaming machine there to play.  Each ticket is worth $1.00.   I won over 80 so dinner and wine was free!  Now that was fun.   I spent $5.00 in the machine and our dinner was over $60.00.  Only cost me $5.00 for tips and the rest I won.  So we splurged and had fun.

     My MIL is so funny.  I told her I was surprised she was so loose and funny since she was dying.  She said she so far didn't think it was so bad and if she had known it wasn't going to be that bad she would have done it a long time ago.  LOL.   She really likes the liquid morphine she is getting except for the taste.  I am surprised this woman who has always been so afraid of dying is taking it this way.  Makes my fear go away.  I always thought it was just part of the process of living.   Since I believe there is going to be something fun on the other side and that I will get to see people I miss, I have never feared it either.  I can't wait to see my Mom.  I have some things to tell her and some hugs I have missed giving her.

   Lately with all the death an dying going on I am having the worse time trying to lose weight.  Seems so pointless.  I like being healthy and riding my bike all over and really don't care how much I weigh as long as I am healthy and feeling good.  That attitude is bad for my diet but good for my soul.  Live each day as if tomorrow won't come.  Enjoy each fresh breeze on your face.  The rain on your hair.  Your loved ones calloused  hands on your flesh.  For each day your breathing and each day your feeling alive is a good day.

    Take care all.


jlocorriere05 said...

I'm always surprised at people attitude to death when they find they're dying. I've met quite a few in the hospital I worked in who had such an upbeat attitude, makes you feel kind of humble. Well done for getting the meal almost free! Have a good Sunday! Jeannette xx  

inquestoftruth said...

This was a really good post.   The flowers are beautiful and the words are touching.    I think God gives us peace about death...and your MIL has found that peace.   I kinda like your good-for-the-soul attitude.   Wouldn't it be something if we found out that just having you attitude is the answer to losing the weight?
Gaming machine?   Is that like a slost machine in a casino?

kirkbyj05 said...

Quote from you..."Your loved ones calloused  hands on your flesh."
I loved this intimate bit of information Julie.  It speaks mountains of love and tenderness between you both.  Much like Bryan and me.  Time and its effects hewn into our bodies are accepted by some of us as an added bonus as we grow older and love deeper.  What hours of love and labour for his family has gone in to making those callouses?     Special!   Thank you.
I am so happy that Betty has accepted death contentedly.  Please God she slips away painfree and peacefully.  I suspect she will and with a smile on her face too.  God Bless her.

springangel235 said...

Your MIL sounds like an awesome lady...and I too don't fear the unknown...knowing there is something good we will all see...many hugs and love to all of you,

rdautumnsage said...

I hope when it's my time, I can be as acceptable as your MIL is. Sounds like it was indeed a wonderful dinner out, getting the meal for free didn't hurt either lol. Loved the pictures of the flowers. Most of all I like your outlook in the end, it's not about weight or anything else. It's about being healthy and happy with yourself as you are. (Hugs) Indigo

radar446 said...

Great pictures!  The stuff we accumulate over the years will always look odd to others.  The things we decide to keep are things that mean something to us....probably nobody else.  I've found that those that have lived a full life and have no serious regrets, usually are able to come to terms with the end of life.  I just hope that if I know it is coming I will be able to handle it as well.