Saturday, January 12, 2008

Communication











         We spent yesterday working at the house and I finally talked to BIL about what I expected him to be doing.  He was packing up items that would be in the auction or not doing anything at all.   I have to admit my resentment and just plain not caring for the man has made this worse then it needed to be.  He in turn had no idea what we wanted him to.  Nothing, something?  Anything?  I felt like every suggestion he was giving I was vetoing it.  Being a real B---h.  Not on purpose, but he was focusing on things that were not the priority.

    Yesterday we sat and I explained why the house needed to gone though like we were.  It wasn't just me making this up, there is aweb site that explains reallywell how to break it down to get ready for the sale.

   First of all you get rid of all letters, bills, etc that might have personal information.   Information you wouldn't want complete strangers going though.  That is foremost the first thing you should do.  Get all documents and important deeds, etc organized into one place and put aside for safekeeping.   Next go through all the drawers and throw away all the things that people stick in junk drawers for use sometime in the future and promptly forget about.  Throw throw throw.

     Both the sons are hopeless pack rats themselves so this is hard on them so I have been doing most of that.  Both are good at taking bubble gum wrappers and duck tape along that little bit of wire and rebuilding a carburetor well enough to get you home in an emergency.   They see every little piece of scrape as maybe being useful some day.  You know what?  Maybe it would be but for every 2000 things you save for the possibility that one of the items might find a use some day, it isn't worth it.


    Then you go through the thousand of pictures and divide them into family groups to be given back to that family to deal with.   We were talking yesterday that this generation here may be the last to have photo albums.  Old family pictures in books.   It will be on discs or stored on line.  Easily able to be deleted with the push of a button.  A families history wiped out just like that, as if they never existed.  It was a sad thought.

       When all that is done you go room through room and see what it is that you may want, or a relative may want and put them aside.  Its called the 80 20 rule.  80% you know no one wants and there is that 20% you don't know if you want to keep or maybe a relative.   Put that 20% aside and deal with the 80%.  When you get to that point then you can do your auction. 

     So I gave my BIL a list of things that needed to be done.  2 more closets of letters, bills, receipts etc need to be looked through and shredded.   Don't pack anything away we are selling in the auction as the auctioneer will need to see them and photograph them.  Don't give away too many things to friends or friends of friends trying to look like a nice guy because at an auction everything will sell.  Even if you only get a dollar its still a dollar and for my BIL that is of vital importance.

    He thanked me.  I should have told him sooner why we were doing it this way.  Now it makes sense to him and he can also help.  I let my anger at him stand in my way, my bad.  In exchange he let slip he is going back to his home state when this is over.  Can we say happy here.

    So yesterday was a good day.  I put my B---h in a box with the 20% to be looked at later and got some things done.  Today we go again.  I am in the mood to make a dent.

7 comments:

nightmaremom said...

glad you got things in order.. good luck today I know this has to be so hard.
hugs
d

rbrown6172 said...

good for you!  what some lovely pieces of furniture here.  i know you'll be glad when it's all said and done.
gina

madcobug said...

She had some beautiful things. Good luck on the sorting and on the sale. Don't forget to send in your vote on the photo challenge if you haven't done so already. Helen

springangel235 said...

happy all is wrapping up nicely...and happy BIL will be saying bye bye as soon as things are done...good job, and lovely furniture...hugs and love,
Joyce

jimsulliv3 said...

Looks like things are almost finished. I'm sure you'll be relieved when it's all over. The pics are perfect (and in order).

Jimmy

cacklinrosie101 said...

Well, at least you came to the realization and set your anger aside, explaining what had to be done.  I would be helpless also.  I'm such a pack rat.  Glad there is cooperation going on.  Chris

rdautumnsage said...

Your MIL had quite a few priceless antiques. I haven't seen a bedroom set like that in ages. When I read you finally got a match lit under the guys, I cheered. It's about time they stepped up to the plate to help. It takes a better person to set aside whatever they are feeling, to make it to the home plate. (Hugs) Indigo