Friday, November 16, 2007

Questions I can't answer

               My MIL is at that stage where she wants some answers and reassurance.   Answers I can't answer and reassurance I am not qualified to give.   Is there life after death?  Is there pain at death?  When do you know it is time?  How the heck do I know I want to scream,  but that will not give her peace.  But what do I know.......

          I have seen many people die.  My job makes that experience something I have to see fairly often.  I have seen people die from a trauma, from a acute illness like failed kidneys,  bad heart and often suddenly without warning.  Babies to the very old.  Do I have any answers?   No.  I do not.  But!

       I have seen twins reach out to take the hand of the deceased twin sister that reached for theirs during their last moment.  I have seen husbands and wife's whisper their spouses name and smile.  I have seen terror and fear replaced with understanding and peace.  And I have seen smiles at the moment most people spend their life running from.

        I used to go to church 3 times a week.  I go seldom now.  Not that I don't believe....contrary.   I believe sometimes more I think then those that teach .  There is something.....not to be feared.    And I tell my MIL that.  I don't have the answers.  I just have that deep believe.  It will be right.  It will be peaceful.  It does come to us all and it isn't anything to be feared.

      So I wonder.  What do you all think?  Just curious.


inquestoftruth said...

Tell her that the angels come and meet her to take her Home, and that it doesn't hurt at all.   Ask her if she is at peace with God, and if she is unsure, then let her read Matthew 6:9-13

Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.  Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.   Give us this day our daily bread.  And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.  And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen.

And above all, tell her to BELIEVE that Jesus is the son of God who died for her sins so that she could spend eternity in Heaven with Christ and her loved ones.

What do I think?   I think you are a wonderful person, Julie.


candlejmr said...

I was with my dad when he died.  He had been restless and unresponsive most of the day and his eyes were closed.  We were playing his favorite music and he had that "death rattle" and we knew the end was near.  I called my mom and my sisters and we gathered around his bed.  He opened his eyes (for the first time all day) looked around the bed at the 4 of us....looked straight into the sky, his eyes open wide...I swear he was looking at that light that everyone talks about....and he closed his eyes and took his last breath.  It was emotional, it was sad....but it was also incredibly peaceful.

I'm praying for your MIL...and for you and your family.  I hope her ending is just as peaceful when her time comes.  


coelha said...

I have a cousin who is a nurse-working in the emergency room.  She has told me that she has actually "felt" some of her patients "leave" their bodies.  Personally, I do believe the soul lives on.  I do believe that our loved ones wait for us.  I do believe that death is not the end.   I was there in the hospital when my dad passed away.  I watched his blood pressure slowly go down lower and lower.. I had to alert the nurse staff.  It was a very traumatic experience.  I was not there the moment he died because I couldn't bear seeing the staff working on him.  I retreated to the waiting room with my mother, and later with the rest of my family. After we were told he had passed, I saw his spirit in the doorway, waving goodbye to me.  Call me psycho, but that is what I saw.  As for answers for your MIL, tell her what you have just written.  Again, she is so blessed to have you there with her.  I know it must be tough for you.  Hugs - Julie

madcobug said...

I read in another journal a while back. If a person is a true beliver then the first face they see when they get to the other side will be Jesus. I firmly believe that. I watched my Mother die. It's a hard thing to have to watch a loved one go. We kept her at home. God does hear and answer prayers. She had the death rattle a few breathes, I just couldn't cope with that. I asked God to take the rattle away because I couldn't stand to hear her suffer like that. Just like a snap of your fingers the rattle was gone. She lived several hours after that but the rattle was gone. I do believe they can see the other side. There were the wide open eyes then they closed in peace. I pray that your MIL's passing will be an easy one. Hugs, Helen

ukgal36 said...

This is something I struggle with myself. Growing up we were taught about heaven. I don't believe that everyone is sitting up there on the clouds playing the harp like the cream cheese commercials but I hope with all that I  am that we are reunited with the souls of our loved ones who have gone before us....
I would encourage your MIL to know she will be at peace  and not to fear..what is that quote? "the only thing to fear from death is death itself"?
Deep stuff girl...

xxroxymamaxx said...

I think she should read life on the other side by Sylvia Browne.  Although I do not believe everything that is in that book, it brought me some peace just thinking of heaven the way it is described in the book.  Love ya and good luck. Shelly

jlocorriere05 said...

I hope your answers will pacify your MIL. When you know the end is near it's natural to worry about these things, let's pray she has a peaceful ending to her life. Jeannette xx  

cvgflydis said...

This may get long, and I apologize;
After my Mom died (breast cancer), we watched her take her last breath, then suddenly, it WASN'T the last one. She opened her eyes WIDE, drew in one more breath, and slowly went to sleep for the last time. I truly believe in my heart of hearts that she took the last breath, as her first breath into Heaven. It was her soul awaking and leaving her body. She slightly lifted her upper body off the bed and I think she was leaving, but her body didn't realize it couldn't go. Within seconds, I felt a hand stroke through my hair. (her last 2 nights alive, she requested me to put my head close enough so she could twirl her fingers through my hair)
I WHOLE HEARTEDLY believe there is a life in Heaven. I even went so far as to tell Mom in her last waking moments, to tell "others" hello for me when she got where she was going. She called out to her own Mother that night, as if she was looking at someone across the room.
I'd tell the MIL to KNOW that there is MORE. It will give her peace. Just my opinion


cacklinrosie101 said...

JMO...I think death is a peaceful ending to life on earth.  I'm sure there is some sort of afterlife.  I truly believe we flow into the light; whatever that may be to some.  Of course, me being a Christian, I believe the light is Jesus.  I think what you've experienced on your job shows that death is a healing and not to be feared.  I think you did well.  Chris

rbrown6172 said...

John 3:16...for God so loved the world, He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.  God loves her so much, and if she hasn't already, she can ask forgiveness of her sins and ask Him into her eternal with Christ will be more pain, no sadness, no sickness.  :)  

kirkbyj05 said...

I have no answer Julie.  I have never see anyone die.  My father died twenty minutes before I arrived at hospital and my mother sadly died suddenly without warning, alone in bed.  
MIL died whilst I had left to go into town after everyone said it would be alright...and it wasn't.  I regretted not being there to hold her hand.  Because that's what I would want if it were me.  My daughter held her until she let go though.
She too sat up in bed and stared straight ahead full of energy, with her eyes like organ stops.  She had been lying there replying to our questions 'was she in pain?' And she said 'no just dopey.'  When she found the energy to sit up and stare straight at my husband as though he was someone else itt was very strange.  I do believe in life beyond earth when we die.  She was looking at something that's for sure.
I have a book called The Tibetan Book Of Living And Dying.  There are suggeststions in there as to how to accept death and how to prepare for the next world or re-incarnation.   It's an amazing book and I use it almost like a bible for understanding life and death moments.
Its not as gloomy as it seems. Its another way of looking at life and death.  I would recommend it to anyone.

Jeanie   xxxxx

lanurseprn said...

Like you, I've seen many die. I've seen people who are dying and miserable come to have a peaceful expression on their faces after death. It's weird. I do believe we still exist after death. Our body is just our vehicle through this life. It wears out a car does. So we have to discard it. JMO
I'm not afraid of being dead. Like I said, I think we are at peace. However, I am afraid of dying. Dying can be drawn out and last a long time. There can be suffering. That is what I'm afraid of. I think what you told your MIL is perfect!

rdautumnsage said...

Not to make light of the situation but from my own perspective; I used to joke that death was an old friend of mine that didn't know when it had outworn it's welcome. I've been at death's door way too many times in my 42 years, to the point I joked that death didn't like me and kept sending me back. I used to want to welcome it with open arms, now.........that I finally have a glimpse of what life truly has to offer, I want to stay and savor it for another moment. I think we are able to move on after someone we love passes because we DO believe they went on to something more. I would like to think there is a part of us , our essence so to speak that goes on to something more, another life, a new beginning.

I forget who this quote derives from: There would be no beginnings, if there were no endings......

(Hugs) Indigo