Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Hanging by a thread

God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.

        I got to my MIL's house yesterday in time to see the hospice nurse. Didn't do any changing, and we both agree we are getting down to days.

     Rick was quiet.  The stress and lack of sleep is really getting to him.  I was really worried about him the other day when we had the same conversation 3 times.  Now we have done that, but he did not remember it when I told him we are just walking around repeating ourselves.  He needs some mental stimulation badly.  You sure don't get it from TV these days.  I told him you don't use it ya lose it.  And he was snappy.  My MIL has been getting up every 2 hours during the night.  She is weak enough he has to use the WC to bring her into the restroom.  She falls right back to sleep and he lays there unable to sleep.

     I told him he seriously needs a break and to let me spend the night while he comes home.  He needs to just take a break.  The 2 of them snap at each other all day.  She says.  Get me my lunch.  He snaps only if you ask nicely.  She snaps, I don't feel like it.  Its like 2 children the way they are acting.  She plays him and that gets him upset.  Lift my feet, I can't lift them she says.  Then when I come she flings her leg up to her chin to show me her edema.  I just shake my head.

     Rick won't change spots though.  I think he is afraid I will hurt my back again and not be able to work,  LOL.  I told him he has to find a way to cope with this and the way to handle nights like that is to nap every single second you can.  If she is napping, he needs to nap.  A sleeping Rick is a grouchy Rick.  And told Betty to stop calling wolf until she really can't lift her legs as it is causing resentment.  Behave yourselves the both of you.  Don't make me lay down the rules, LOL.

       Seriously she is getting so weak.  she started out eating a sandwich.  Then only a half of a sandwich.  Then a half of the half.  Yesterday just a half of the half of the half.  I told him the cancer wasn't going to kill her, it was the starvation.  No one can live forever on the calories she brings in.  I would guess its only about 300.  She won't drink the ensure or boosts anymore.

       So today I told my son to take his Dad to the movies tonight and maybe out to eat.  My MIL and I will have a quiet evening.  Now to see if Dad will do it.

       I work tomorrow.

         Usually the census is down on the day of Thanksgiving but by that night we start getting the admits.  Especially on my floor.  So here is my lecture today.  If your on a fluid pill for congested heart failure don't not take it for a couple of days because you want to travel without having to find a bathroom.  You'll be sorry and probably come visit me.   Don't eat more at one sitting then you usually eat in 3 days.  Especially if you have a tricky heart.  You may come see me.  Don't eat the salt and nuts and chips if your suppose to watch your sodium, you might get to see my smiling face.  And don't ignore that nagging chest heaviness because you don't want to ruin anyones dinner.  You may see your maker instead of me.

      OK, enough of the soap box.  Hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving.  I have much to be thankful for as I am sure we all do.  Just have to remember it everyday and count my many blessings.

   And tomorrow we are suppose to get snow.  Now that doesn't please me with my van out of commission but it should be pretty if nothing else.  Please all drive careful in those first few snowfalls.  Take care all.



rbrown6172 said...

good lecture...if only they would heed it.  :)  often it is too easy to forget to count our blessings...i really admire your strength, courage and upbeat spirit.  {{{julie}}}

madcobug said...

I think losing their appetite is the body's way of shutting down where there will not be so much pain in the end. May God continue to be with all of you. I do hope she has a good Thursday then You and Rick will have one also. You gave out some good health tips. Hugs, Helen

inquestoftruth said...

That cartoon was funny!!  Needed that laugh.    Rick needs a laugh as well.   Poor thing!    Sounds as if Betty is enjoying Rick's attention so much that she is making him move her feet and stuff.    I hope both of them get some rest, and that Rick goes to movies and dinner with son.

erarein63 said...

Sorry Rick is getting so worn out, I do hope he realizes he has to take care of himself so he can be there for his Mother when she needs him at the end.  You take care of yourself too.  Oh and I got a laugh out of your holiday warnings, perfect cause I say the same thing to people when they come into the ER.  Have a great Thanksgiving.  I work tonight and tomorrow.  De ;)

coelha said...

Hang in there...  I hope Rick is more rested--it must be terrible for him as well...  Take care - Julie

xxroxymamaxx said...

Julie this just brought back soo many memories of my dad.  We went through a lot of these same things for months...then down to not only not eating but not talking at all, or coherent at all and sleeping all the time.  We went through that for about 3 weeks then he was gone.  Unbelievably, we had a huge mixture of grief and relief all at the same time.  It is so hard and so draining to watch a parent or anyone you love dwindling.  God bless you all.  Love, Shelly

rdautumnsage said...

Wonderful reminders for the Holiday. I understand were your coming from hon. Doc's mom is in the hospital, she needs surgery. She is obese, diabetic, has a bad heart, and a pouch (she had colon cancer but survived-not without having most of her insides taken out). They don't think the chances of her surviving the surgery are great. The doctor more or less told us, if she goes into surgery he doesn't expect her to make it. If she doesn't have the surgery she will die. We live an 1 1/2  from the hospital she is at. We go to spend time with her every other day almost. She will only tolerate visitors (even her own son) for 15-20 minutes at the most. Then we turn around and go back home another 1 1/2 trip. It's 3 hours a day travelling. But we love the woman and want to be there for her. We are spending Thanksgiving morning with her and then I'm coming home to fix the Turkey for Doc and I. This morning Doc made plans to take his dark suit to the cleaners. My heart is breaking for him , you can see it in his eyes. (Hugs) Indigo

jckfrstross said...

keeping all in prayer i feel for you all


nightmaremom said...

sending good vibes and strength your way

kirkbyj05 said...

Sometimes they just say to themselves'I've had enough' or 'I'm fed up with living' and they just slowly loose interest in trying.  I can believe that's what is happening to Betty.  But by jings!  She is still using her wiley ways....Lol!
Poor Rick!   If he doesn't get some decent respite himself then he will end up hallucinating from lack of sleep. Hope your son manages to extracate him from her bedside for a well needed break.
Loved the humour in the toothbrush and toilet roll tag....lol!
Rick is right really..we don't want you doing any lifting and putting your back out.
Hope Zoey is perking up now?
Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family.  
Jeanie xxx