Friday, December 14, 2007

While at my meeting

  

    My mother in law quietly slipped away in her sleep.  In peace.  Pain free.

    The phone rang at the far end of the meeting room.  My heart sank and I knew the call would be for me.  My legs were shaking as I walked to the phone and even expecting it I couldn't stop my tears.  At 0950 this morning my dear MIL finished her journey to the other side.

      Rick had just given her medication for pain.  She was restless.  He held her hand until she calmed and started in to get coffee.  At the kitchen door he heard her last breath and turned back.   The hospice nurses were on the porch ready to come in when she took her last breath.  It was so calm and that terrible noise was gone from her throat.

       Now we are numb.  Grateful that everything she wanted had happened.  She wanted to slip away in her sleep like my FIL had done.  She wanted to be at home.   She didn't want to have pain.  The pain was well controlled with the medication and she was in her home with her kitty laying beside her.

      The dog and the cat knew she was gone.  The cat refused to leave her bed until they came for her body.  Then she disappeared for hours.  Zoey laid her head on Ricks lap and whined.

     I am home.  No reason to stay there.  Rick is still at his moms.  Can't leave BIL alone there and Rick knows it is better for me here. BIL has no reason to be restrained now.  So it ends.  86 years......ends.

        

We are such stuff as dreams are made on ...
William Shakespeare
The Tempest, III, iv

Our revels are now ended. These our actors,
As I foretold you, were all spirits and
Are melted into air, into thin air;
And like the baseless fabric of this vision,
The cloud-capp’d towers, the gorgeous palaces,
The solemn temples, the great globe itself,
Yea all which it inherit, shall dissolve
And like this insubstantial pageant faded,
Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff
As dreams are made on, and our little life
Is rounded in a sleep.

45 comments:

radar446 said...

I know this is a sad time, but it should also be a time of relief for you.  You are going to feel like a weight has been lifted off of your shoulders sooner or later...don't feel guilty about that.  Your MIL was not the only one in pain, and now her pain is over...why not your's as well.  Of course, this is completely separate from the grieving process that you will go through.  I am sorry for your loss, but thankful that you can get back to living again.

Greg

blazensun said...

Julia I am so sorry for your and Ricks loss. You two loved her dearly and she knew you both did. She is now at peace and once again with your FIL.Prays will be with you both in your greiving has just begun.

Hug to both Rick and you.

Sunny

xxroxymamaxx said...

My condolences to you and Rick and the rest of the family.  May your MIL rest in peace now.  love you, Shelly

countrylady4071 said...

Julie,
My heart goes out to you and Rick.  Please find comfort in knowing she is out of pain, and is resting in peace.  May God's love comfort both of you.  I will keep both of you in my prayers.
Hugs,
Pat

erarein63 said...

Oh honey....my heart goes out.  I'm so glad that MIL passed away peacefully.  God Bless Her!  De

lanurseprn said...

I'm so sorry Julie. I know this is so hard on your family. But, be comforted in the fact that she went peacefully, and knew how much she was loved. You and Rick cared for her with all of the love and devotion that you had inside of you. Now it's time to take care of each other.
I offer you my condolences and will continue to keep you and Rick in my prayers.
Hugs and love to you both,
Pam

rbrown6172 said...

i'm so sorry, julie.  at least she is at peace and rest now.  my prayers are with you.
gina

inquestoftruth said...

((((((Julie)))))))   My thoughts and prayers are with you.
~Meg

jimsulliv3 said...

The ordeal is over for both of you Julie. Your MIL is at peace and now you and Rick can get some well deserved rest. My prayers are with both of you.

Jimmy

madcobug said...

She is at peace now and I pray that all of you will be at peace also. I know it's a big relief to know she is no longer suffering. Take care of each other now. Yes, animals can sense when somethng happens. May her cat be at peace also. Hugs, Helen

carrotlife said...

Julie- Betty died loved by you all so much, with her beloved son by her side and no doubt you in her thoughts.. I am thankful for that. No matter how much we expect it and know it is coming, the tears take a long time to slow down. Peace to you all through this sad time.
~Cathy

sugarsweet056 said...

Condolences to your family.
My prayers are with your husband & all the family , that they find peace amidst their grief. Thanks to the Lord that she went peacefully, that she was not in any severe pain.That she was at home, & passed over as she had wished for.
Helen sent me over.
God bless,
Sugar

carolelainedodd said...

So sorry to hear your sad news.  I came over from Helen's.
Deepest sympathy to you all.
Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
Take care.
Carolx

kirkbyj05 said...

My Dear Julie,

I was very upset to hear of Betty's passing.
I have a humongous lump in my throat remembering all the love and care you gave to her.  How you allowed us to get to know her and you through your love and care of her as she lay dying this long while.
She was a brave woman, if a bit child-like in her attention seeking, bless her, that always brought a smile to my face.  But she was a warm human being who came to life through your telling of her story and her ending.
May God Bless Rick and you and most of all May God Bless Betty's soul which is now winging it's way to heaven, content that you allowed her to slip quietly and painlessly away.
You were there for her right up to the end.  Even though you had your meeting to go to.  That was her's and God's way of lightening your load.  She would not want you to loose your job for her.
You are a wonderful person and a beautiful DIL.  Who could wish for anything more?
May She Rest In Peace.
God Bless
With Fondest Love to you at this sad time.
Jeanie xxx

maryajacobs5 said...

I am sorry to hear your sad news, but glad that MIL is now at peace.  We had a family member who died this year with the same cancer, so I know how tough your journey has been, but all the love you and Rick have given her will have helped her to a peaceful end.

Take care of yourself and each other, you are in my thoughts

Mary
http://journals.aol.com/maryajacobs5/grand-tour-of-america/

jeanno43 said...

I came from Helen.  Please accept my deep condolences on your loss.  I am glad her passing was peaceful.  Thinking of you at this very sad time

http://journals.aol.co.uk/jeanno43/JeannettesJottings/

mosie1944 said...

It's always hard to lose a parent, even when you know they're finally out of pain.  And it's especially rough to lose them so close to the holidays.

gaboatman said...

I, too, came by way of Helen.  May I offer my condolences to you and your family.  I am glad her passing was peaceful, but I know the loss is still going to be hard.
Sam

springangel235 said...

I am so sorry for your loss...and for your dear husband. Your MIL was a real trooper...and now she is at peace...many hugs and love to you both,
Joyce

pharmolo said...

Helen sent me your way. Very sorry and sad for you both, Julie, but a relief that suffering is now over for your mother-in-law. Isn't it uncanny how animals just know?
Wishing you strength at this difficult time.

Guido
http://journals.aol.co.uk/pharmolo/NorthernTrip

jonibooks1991 said...

Was sent this way by Guido.  So sorry to hear about your loss, it is never easy even when you know it is coming.  We loss our dear MIL last Christmas.  You will be in my thoughts and prayers.  Joni

ukgal36 said...

I am sorry for you loss Julie..please pass my condolences along to Rick..it's hurts just the same even when we think we are prepared...
God Bless..
Lyn

candlejmr said...

((((((((hugs)))))))))) to you and your hubby.  I am so glad your MIL went quietly and in peace.  My thoughts and prayers are with you all.

((hugs))
Jeanne

rdautumnsage said...

((Hugs)) I know exactly what your going through hon. I'm here for you if you should need to talk, cry or just scream. I truly wish I could personally kick your BIL's bum, I can't believe he's so low as to make this time of grieving so hurtful.....but I know he is........You did a wonderful, compassionate thing hon, giving your MIL what she needed during these past few months. She's waited quite awhile to see her love once again. I'm keeping you and Rick in my prayers on the smoke during this time of sorrow. Your MIL loved you and knew you were there for her, you were the daughter she didn't have. (Hugs) Indigo

chat2missie said...

I'm so sorry for your loss, but now she's in peace and no more pain.
Missie

christiniareid said...

Hi I just wanted to say I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope that you are drawn closer to God through this and know that my prayers are with your family.
laura

plieck30 said...

Came by way of Helen's journal to offer my sympathy in the passing of your dear m-i-l. Paula

nhd106 said...

Oh, how difficult and sad.    Yet she was surrounded by tons of love...then, now...and always will be.
Sorry for your loss.

Hugs,
Nancy

cacklinrosie101 said...

Julie, I'm so very sorry for Rick and you.  Even the inevitable is no easier to deal with.  Glad she is at peace and out of pain.  You are both in my prayers.  Hugs to you, Chris

nightmaremom said...

ohhhhh my friend... I am so sorry.  Sending lots of prayers and warm gentle hugs to all of you.  Love ya
d

frankandmary said...

You gave her the gift of HOME right to the very end. Peace. ~Mary

jckfrstross said...

i am so sorry:( at least you gave her what she wanted

Deb

bhbner2him said...

Hugs to you and prayers for both you and hubby.  I know all too well how hard it is to loose a really good and dear mother-in-law!  - Barbara

jeadie05 said...

Iam so very sorry ..love Jan xx

jlocorriere05 said...

I'm so sorry to hear that your MIL passed on Julie but I'm pleased she died in peace and at home. Now she's free of pain at last. Please pass my condolences on to Rick, I know it's hard when you lose both parents. Jeannette xx  http://journals.aol.co.uk/jlocorriere05/Welcometomytravels/  

magran42 said...

Your family was blessed as you have said.  But also as you said.....And so it ends.  I am so sorry for your loss.

wwfbison said...

Guido sent me your way, I am sorry to hear of the loss you & your family has suffered.  Peace be with you.
Lisa

tendernoggle said...

Helen sent me...I am so sorry for your loss...God bless and keep you and Rick in His care.
Carlene

breakaway1968 said...

Helen sent me over and I'm SO very sorry for your family's loss!  What a sad day for you...my prayers are with your family.  

helmswondermom said...

Guido suggested we call 'round.  I am so sorry for your loss and hope that you and your husband and family are able to find peace and stength to get through the next few days.  I'm glad you're mother-in-law was home, comfortable, and pain-free.  Please take care.
Lori

coelha said...

Even when it is expected, it is always hard to say that final goodbye.                (((  Julie  )))  I'm sorry to hear of your family's loss of such your beloved MIL  She is at peace now.  Hugs - Julie

fowfies said...

Came over from Helens journal. My sympathies for you and your family at this time. I am glad she was able to be at home and pass away peacefully.

fasttrack58 said...

Bringing special thoughts via Guido...
Linda...

razorbkgirl81 said...

Came oiver from Helens journal may God be with your family and I am so sorry for ya'll's  loss.
deb

cvgflydis said...

I'm so sory for your loss. Know she is in a happier place! I bet she's been dancing with your FIL for days now!

Angel