Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Early Morning

       I am up early.  The service is at 11:30 but we have to be there at 11.  My youngest son bought a suit!  Since I usually only ever see him dressed like he is there, in bicycle clothes or his work clothes it is quite strange.  He looks good though.  I bought new shoes but otherwise have a nice outfit to wear.  I am so looking forward to this being over.  We are not putting the ashes in the ground until the spring time.  I am not happy about that.  We did that with my FIL but his ashes stayed at their home and it seemed right.  I don't want to leave hers there while the house is slowly emptied.  My BIL thinks it will be a good excuse to stay around until spring that way.  I just don't want to drag this next part on and on.  Rick feels the same way. We want closure.  So we shall see.  We may have a private graveside service soon.

   We have been eating out almost everyday.  With Rick at his moms and me here it just doesn't seen like we have settled yet.  I haven't the energy to cook and still think of everything that needs to be done.  Apathy has set in.  Maybe I am storing up the energy for what is coming next.  We are getting glimpses of how difficult my BIL is going to be. He is so contrary.  We say white he says black to every single thing.  He won't eat what I cook, I am not hungry then 2 minutes later is out there cooking.  It will be a battle.

      I am worried sick about Rick.  He had a episode the other day where he almost passed out and his arms were jerking.  His blood pressure was 189/112.  I called the doctor to see about increasing the blood pressure med he is on but they never called back.  I am going to make him an appointment today.  He needs to be seen.  Darn man needs to take care of himself.  He holds everything in and it is doing a number on him.

       I have all my Christmas shopping done in record time.  Still not a single decoration up,but I am OK with that.  We have been enjoying other peoples lights.

     Well I had better pop in the shower.   I want to get it done before anyone else wakes up.


ukgal36 said...

Thinking of you today...poor rick..he needs to let it all out...perhaps today will be the day...

xxroxymamaxx said...

I want closure for you too.  And I hope you get it.  Love ya and thinking about ya and praying for you.  Shelly

jeanno43 said...

Warm thoughts winging your way.

inquestoftruth said...

((((((Julie)))))))    This very difficult phase of your life, no matter how much more difficult BIL makes it, won't last forever.    I'm glad you are getting Rick to a doctor, bless his heart.    Yours, too.    

candlejmr said...

(((JULIE))))) I know this is such a difficult time for you...but I look at those handsome sons of yours and I know that there is happiness.  It will get easier.  Give yourself the time you need to grieve and remember that there are alot of people who love you.  Please get your hubby to the doctor.  I am worried about him.  

Good luck today.  

((hugs)) to you and your family,

rbrown6172 said...

keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

kirkbyj05 said...

I'm not happy with Rick's blood pressure readings either Julie.  I hope you get an appointment with his doctor soon!!!!!
It won't help either having to be around his brother.  I just wish he would go and leave you all alone.  But his nature is too base to think of that.
I like the idea of Betty's ashes being put into the ground in a private graveside ceremony.  That will bring closure sooner rather that the spring with BIL still hanging on.  You both need space from him as there are an awful lot of things being left unsaid for the sake of peace and quiet. That's not good for Rick's blood pressure or yours.  With Betty's ashes at the cemetary then you will have somewhere to go to visit with her. and closure will have been made.
I do hope you can get Rick sorted out soon.

You have two handsome son's Julie.   You must be so proud of them.
Take care and don't forget to look after you too!!!!
Jeanie xxxxx

madcobug said...

I hope Rick can see the Doc. soon. That picture is a good one. It's amazing how fast her health went downhill. I don't suppose BIL is footing the food bill for what he fixes extra. Helen

lanurseprn said...

I hope Rick gets in quick regarding his BP. I know this is such a stressful time for you all. Keeping you all in my prayers.

cacklinrosie101 said...

Julie, this has to be a nightmare for all of you.  I pray that Rick gets to the doctor's.  Holding everything in is so brutal on the body.  I think burying the ashes now would be the closure you all need.  As for BIL, ugh...I know those types too well.  Bless you both as you head into this.  Chris

coelha said...

I hope your husband is feeling better soon... Stress is not a good thing--I'm sure he is exhausted by it.  Weird, my husband's name is Richard too--but we call him Rich.  :)  Take care of yourself too!   Julie