Benefits of Growing Older.

Benefits of Growing Older

Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first

It's harder and harder for sexual harassment charges to stick

No one expects you to run into a burning building

People call at 9 pm and ask, "Did I wake you?"

People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

There's nothing left to learn the hard way.

Things you buy now won't wear out.

You can eat dinner at 4 pm.

You can live without sex but not without your glasses

You enjoy hearing about  other peoples operations.

You get into a heated argument about pension plans.

You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.

You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room

You sing along with elevator music

Your eyes won't get much worse.

Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

Your joints are more accurate then the National Weather Service

Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either

Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.

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