Hi All

       

      The cold weather has arrived.  It finally feels better to me at my MIL's.

      How is everything going?   Things are getting close for my MIL.  Her kidneys are failing and she is confused at times.  We are not able to walk her as much so we have a commode by the bed.  She has a large tumor on her side that has doubled in size in a week.  With its growth her pain has gotten worse so we have her on morphine now which is helping.  The only thing she hasn't lost is her appetite but she doesn't want anything nutritious.  Potato chips, chocolate, lemon muffins, popcorn she chows down.  Home made black bean soup with ham, chicken and noodles homemade, no way, give me the chocolate.  Woman after my own heart.  If I knew I was dying it would be bring on the cheesecake and did you say chocolate?  Yummy.

      We haven't heard from the BIL in over a month but apparently he called the social worker yesterday.  She is going to call him today and then call us.  He probably wants to just see if she has died and if he has anymore money coming.  He has probably gone through the money he got the first time.  Sadly my MIL wants to call him tonight.  No matter what he does to her she still, even nows worries about him.  She can't believe he hasn't called.  She doesn't know he called the social worker yet.  We are waiting to see what he wants first.

     So Tuesday I was grabbing the dog as she was being rowdy.  My ring hooked on her collar and something popped in my finger.   Immediately I knew it was going to be bad.  It swelled up so fast I couldn't get the ring off.  I soaked it in ice water and elevated it all night.   We couldn't go to the hospital because I can't leave my MIL alone and didn't think I could drive as my hand hurt so much.  So the next day a volunteer sat with her and we went up.  My finger was so swollen I felt like it would pop.  Pain, well you can imagine.  The pressure was unreal.   They cut my ring off as there was no way it was coming off and my finger was being strangled.  The finger or the ring.....bye ring.   My favorite one also but fortunately not expensive.  It wasn't broken thank goodness and they also did a chest X ray since my ribs are still hurting.   No pneumonia, just pleurisy.  Then to top it off the dog dumped very hot coffee on my lap and I have a 2nd degree burn on  my leg.  Poor Rick, not much help with the lifting as I was.  My back is out also.  I am giving moral support and cooking.  Pretty good cooking if I must admit also.  The black bean soup was excellent even if my MIL didn't like we both were most impressed with me.  I may learn how to do this yet.
 
    So things are going just peachy, LOL.  I put my shop on vacation mode.   It is just to hard to get here to check the computer.  I might lose some sells but so be it.  My heart just isn't into it much right now anyway.

    My MIL is at peace with whats coming.  She just hopes it hurries up as she is tired.  It has been a long road for us all.

    Last but not least.  Ricks doc was so happy with how he turned out and he got off the heart med he hated.  Happy happy joy joy.   Now to work on his blood pressure and get him off that med and he will be a new man.  I think that will be down the road though.

    Take care all.  I miss everyone and reading the journals.  I might download the AOL on my laptop and use it at my MIL's.  It would be dial up which I am so spoiled but that is better then nothing.  I have been reading some good books though.  Ta.
      
        

Update

  Hi everyone.   Things are going along fairly well.  As soon as I took my leave she got better of course.  This is good and bad.  Good because....well you know.  Bad because I only get 2 weeks once.   And it is 2 weeks without pay.  Bad.  So it probably was a mistake taking off right now.  You just can't tell.  My MIL likes the attention, don't we all, but sometimes likes it enough to not tell you how she is really doing.  She would never say she is having a good day if by saying she is having a bad day will allow her breakfast in bed and lots of phone calls from relatives.  Which makes it difficult for me and Rick.  So we will play it by ear and I am taking this time to teach Rick the easiest ways to care for her when it really does look like she will be bedridden.  How to turn her and the best way to get her up.  Since it now looks like I will be back to work and he might be back to doing it alone again when the time comes.  It is hard to tell.  She is very frail.

   I have been having huge back issues from sleeping in a different bed.  I can barely move when I first get up.  That makes it difficult.  Zoey has settled in very well there but the cat will still not come out of the basement.  The cat had better figure it out.

    Rick goes to the Doctor for his checkup tomorrow.  It will be good for him to get out.  We are both getting cabin fever really really bad.  I am sooooo sick of bad TV.  I went to the library and got some books.  I am sorry but I don't like Lawrence Welk blasting at full volume and Metlock reruns day after day.  I sure miss my computer.  I don't have my laptop set up for wireless.  Sigh.

   I am home now because I have some had some sells in my shop that I have to pack and mail.  I thought about putting the shop on vacation mode but this is a good selling month for me and I hate to shut down my only income right now. And it gives me a reason to get out and about once in awhile.  It is so hot there I feel like I am in a sauna the entire time.  I had gotten used to having my furnace way low when it wasn't running well.  She keeps hers at 78.  Way to hot for me.  I keep mine at 65.  So I am wearing capri's and light shirts and she is wearing long underwear and sweatpants.  What a pair.

    Hope everyone is doing well.  I will have some major catching up to do.  Miss you all.

         

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Time for my Leave

   I am turning off my alerts for awhile as my MIL has gotten very bad and I took my LOA and moved over there.  Take care everyone and I will check in when I can.

    

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Thanksgiving

       Happy Turkey Day

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Thankful

         

          I was thinking of all I have to be thankful for today.  I just want to say a Big thank you to everyone who has giving us so much support.  It means so much.  I have so much to be thankful for.  So for starters.

1.  I am thankful work gave me tonight off.  No I can't afford it, but am grateful to have tomorrow with my family.  Rick will be tickled I am cooking after all.

2.  I am thankful I am not the type of person who can stay down for long.  I just can't help.  I usually am cheerful.  Even when everything looks like it is going wrong I still can't stay on the low end for long.

3.  I am grateful my MIL is not in pain.  Her last days seen comfortable which was her goal and ours.

4.  I am grateful my brother who I have not spoken to for over a year called today and my sister is doing well.

5.  I am grateful Zoey is doing better.

6.  I am grateful for pain free days.

7.  I am grateful for my bike and the many wonderful days it has given me.

8.  I am grateful to my youngest son who kissed me this morning and told me he loved me.  Out of the blue.  Even though he lives here we seldom see each other due to our jobs.  He has always been a joy to me.

9.  I am grateful to my wonderful grandchildren who I got to talk to on our web cam and make faces at.  Technology is a wonderful thing.  I am old enough it still amazes me.

10.  I am grateful for each and everyday as they are all a blessing and not to be counted on.

11.  And I am grateful for my husband.  He drives me as nuts as I probably drive him and we still love each other.  He has always helped me though the bad times and I hope I am helping him also.

     So to everyone.  Happy Thanksgiving.  Its a wonderful thing.

                         

A Thanksgiving Day Prayer

Lord, so often times, as any other day
When we sit down to our meal and pray

We hurry along and make fast the blessing
Thanks, amen. Now please pass the dressing

We're slaves to the olfactory overload
We must rush our prayer before the food gets cold

But Lord, I'd like to take a few minute more
To really give thanks to what I'm thankful for

For my family, my health, a nice soft bed
My friends, my freedom, a roof over my head

I'm thankful right now to be surrounded by those
Whose lives touch me more than they'll ever possibly know

Thankful Lord, that You've blessed me beyond measure
Thankful that in my heart lives life's greatest treasure

That You, dear Jesus, reside in that place
And I'm ever so grateful for Your unending grace

So please, heavenly Father, bless this food You've provided
And bless each and every person invited

Amen! --Scott Wesemann

Thanksgiving Divorce

Thanksgiving Divorce

An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and s ays, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough."

"Pop, what are you talking about," the son screams.

"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man says. "We're sick and tired of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her." And he hangs up

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone.

"Like Heck they're getting a divorce, she shouts. "I'll take care of this."

She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at the old man, "You are NOT getting divorced! Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" And she hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone, smiles and turns to his wife. "They're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way."

                          

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better day

    

       A miracle happened and my MIL slept all night.  Rick got a much needed full night sleep.  It makes a huge difference.  But things are definitely getting bad.  She is no longer able to walk very far at all.  Mostly just pivot with help.  Very flat affect.  She rarely talks anymore and is apathetic.   Time is getting close.  I told hospice I will need pads and things for the bed.  Time to move the commode in close to the bed and time for me to take my leave. 

     I talked to Rick about the snapping.  The thing is we have been taking care of my MIL for a very long time.  Not just since she got sick, but since my FIL passed away 7 years ago.  It is amazing what the woman was unable to do. 

    And she can be very difficult to get along with at times.  She is obsessive about things.  Garbage needs to go out a full 24 hours in advance.  When she wants something she want it now.  You will hear about it daily until it is done.  It doesn't matter what you are doing it has to be dropped.  She also doesn't ask out right for anything.  When my children were little and she thought they needed a hair cut it was,  Come here sweetie, let Gramma brush that long hair out of your eyes,  Gee can you see to read with those long bangs.  On and On.   Shoes were the same way.  Oh honey, are those shoes pinching you little feet.  Poor dear.  It would make you crazy.

    But......I told him we had to put those feeling away now.  This was different.  This was getting to the end and in all probability his mom will be gone in less then a week.  Now is not the time to change her lifetime of behavior.  Now she has just enough energy left to do what little she can.  He hung his head.  He realizes that.  He is having a difficult time knowing anytime he might sleep all night and look over to see she has died in her sleep.  It haunts him.  He also is mourning for the brother he will never want to see again.  Basically he is losing the last of his family.

        Me, I would be crying and bawling and talking about it to deal with it.  Rick, he keeps it in and gets snappy.  I lost my mother in 1980.  It was the single most painful experience in my life.  I do know what he is going through.  I ache that I can't help him.  Only time helps.

     So time is getting short.  Betty asked me about the light, what is the light they talk about.  I told her it was the candles on her welcome home cake.  She smiled.

      I was wishing today I was a better person.  A better friend, wife, DIL, nurse.  Do you ever do that.  More even tempered, smarter.  Things more important then being the thinnest or richest.  Thinking about how to do that.  Determined to make a conscious effort to be a better person.  One I can look back at and say, I like that person.  Anyone ever feel that way.  Tired of your shortcomings and ready for change.  Maybe going through this with my MIL is giving me these thoughts.  I am no saint.  But I could be better.

       

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: I'm trying to reachnine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.

Hanging by a thread

God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.

        I got to my MIL's house yesterday in time to see the hospice nurse. Didn't do any changing, and we both agree we are getting down to days.

     Rick was quiet.  The stress and lack of sleep is really getting to him.  I was really worried about him the other day when we had the same conversation 3 times.  Now we have done that, but he did not remember it when I told him we are just walking around repeating ourselves.  He needs some mental stimulation badly.  You sure don't get it from TV these days.  I told him you don't use it ya lose it.  And he was snappy.  My MIL has been getting up every 2 hours during the night.  She is weak enough he has to use the WC to bring her into the restroom.  She falls right back to sleep and he lays there unable to sleep.

     I told him he seriously needs a break and to let me spend the night while he comes home.  He needs to just take a break.  The 2 of them snap at each other all day.  She says.  Get me my lunch.  He snaps only if you ask nicely.  She snaps, I don't feel like it.  Its like 2 children the way they are acting.  She plays him and that gets him upset.  Lift my feet, I can't lift them she says.  Then when I come she flings her leg up to her chin to show me her edema.  I just shake my head.

     Rick won't change spots though.  I think he is afraid I will hurt my back again and not be able to work,  LOL.  I told him he has to find a way to cope with this and the way to handle nights like that is to nap every single second you can.  If she is napping, he needs to nap.  A sleeping Rick is a grouchy Rick.  And told Betty to stop calling wolf until she really can't lift her legs as it is causing resentment.  Behave yourselves the both of you.  Don't make me lay down the rules, LOL.

       Seriously she is getting so weak.  she started out eating a sandwich.  Then only a half of a sandwich.  Then a half of the half.  Yesterday just a half of the half of the half.  I told him the cancer wasn't going to kill her, it was the starvation.  No one can live forever on the calories she brings in.  I would guess its only about 300.  She won't drink the ensure or boosts anymore.

       So today I told my son to take his Dad to the movies tonight and maybe out to eat.  My MIL and I will have a quiet evening.  Now to see if Dad will do it.

       I work tomorrow.
 

         Usually the census is down on the day of Thanksgiving but by that night we start getting the admits.  Especially on my floor.  So here is my lecture today.  If your on a fluid pill for congested heart failure don't not take it for a couple of days because you want to travel without having to find a bathroom.  You'll be sorry and probably come visit me.   Don't eat more at one sitting then you usually eat in 3 days.  Especially if you have a tricky heart.  You may come see me.  Don't eat the salt and nuts and chips if your suppose to watch your sodium, you might get to see my smiling face.  And don't ignore that nagging chest heaviness because you don't want to ruin anyones dinner.  You may see your maker instead of me.

      OK, enough of the soap box.  Hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving.  I have much to be thankful for as I am sure we all do.  Just have to remember it everyday and count my many blessings.
   

   And tomorrow we are suppose to get snow.  Now that doesn't please me with my van out of commission but it should be pretty if nothing else.  Please all drive careful in those first few snowfalls.  Take care all.

 

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Sunday morning

       I promised the dog a walk by the river today.  Casually.  Just in case it was way to cold or I was way to tired.  Thinking she wouldn't understand what I was saying anyway, right!  So I crawl out of bed this morning and she leaps up and runs to the back door.  Tail going like mad, skittering around on the tile like a nut.  Oh goody, are we going now, are we going?  giving out a happy bark.  

     Man, dog.  Not as soon as I crawl out of bed.  What is wrong with you.  Do I look at all mentally ready to be traipsing along the river in this cold?  I mean 2 seconds ago I was snug in my warm bed sound asleep.  I have to have coffee and check my email first.  And how do you know what I planned to do this morning anyway.   Do I have to spell my content from now on?

     We used to have to do the with Greenies.  Do you think it is time for a G R E E N I E I would ask Rick.  Zoey would leap up and go the cupboard where they are kept, tail wagging.  Just knows what I said.  And seriously she isn't the brightest light bulb in the box.  I mean look how many time I begged her not to puke on my carpet! From now on I will have to say, if it is nice out I think I will take Z O E Y for a W A L K  down by the R I V E R.   Maybe if I spell most of the sentence she will be confused enough not to get it.

   Well,  I have to go.  She is laying at my feet tugging at my pant leg and whining.  She has those really irresistible  puppy eye thing going for her and just the tip of her tail is wagging.  How does she do that?

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Questions I can't answer

               My MIL is at that stage where she wants some answers and reassurance.   Answers I can't answer and reassurance I am not qualified to give.   Is there life after death?  Is there pain at death?  When do you know it is time?  How the heck do I know I want to scream,  but that will not give her peace.  But what do I know.......

          I have seen many people die.  My job makes that experience something I have to see fairly often.  I have seen people die from a trauma, from a acute illness like failed kidneys,  bad heart and often suddenly without warning.  Babies to the very old.  Do I have any answers?   No.  I do not.  But!

       I have seen twins reach out to take the hand of the deceased twin sister that reached for theirs during their last moment.  I have seen husbands and wife's whisper their spouses name and smile.  I have seen terror and fear replaced with understanding and peace.  And I have seen smiles at the moment most people spend their life running from.

        I used to go to church 3 times a week.  I go seldom now.  Not that I don't believe....contrary.   I believe sometimes more I think then those that teach .  There is something.....not to be feared.    And I tell my MIL that.  I don't have the answers.  I just have that deep believe.  It will be right.  It will be peaceful.  It does come to us all and it isn't anything to be feared.

      So I wonder.  What do you all think?  Just curious. 

Just things.

       

     It is hard to believe Thanksgiving is next week already, time is just flying.  We won't be doing a dinner this year.  I have to work the entire week and no way am I cooking.  If my MIL was doing better I might make some attempt, but she is doing very poorly this week and Rick and I could care less if we eat it.  Now my son's favorite meal in the world is a turkey dinner, so maybe at Christmas when I am off I will make one then.  If  I buy a turkey right after thanksgiving they are cheap and I can stick it in the freezer.  If  I can find a small one that is. 

    My MIL has really failed this last couple of weeks.  I think since her birthday actually.  The sorrow of her son not calling really gave her a blow.  It is finally sinking in for her that  he was just after what money he could get.  She seems to have given up.  She is very weak and emotionally withdrawn these last couple of days especially.  I believe time is getting very short.  We haven't heard from BIL for over a month.  Now you know that makes me happy but now I am wondering where he is.  Is he is jail, dead?  Would we find out?  It does seem weird he just dropped off the face of the earth.  I would be more comfortable at night knowing exactly where that man was. 

     I hate being sick right now.  I think this is just going to end up being a cold but it is taking its sweet time getting to that point.  I am still at the low grade temp feel like a truck hit phase.  And freezing.  Finally I can stand how hot it is at my MIL's and welcome it.  Bring on the heat baby.  But she is getting to the point where I need to be doing more of her care and I don't want to get her sick her last days. Wouldn't that be awful for her.

    I have been keeping the furnace turned down to 62 here.  We fixed the fan motor and now the fan is acting up.  So I ordered the part and to keep it from running much have the temp way down.  I have gained 10 pounds just in all the layers I have on.  The weather is suppose to be in the 60's today though.  If the part comes Rick can fixthe furnace while I stay with my MIL.

    Now for the last thing.  I always say I have a somewhat dry sense of humor.  My hubby says it borders on sarcastic.  Hummmm.  So, for those who have read my journal, which is it.  And is either a bad thing? 

          

   

      
P.S.  I was doing Zoey's ritual in the woods this morning.  Hair uncombed,  Uggs on my feet, my gym pants and T-shirt on and a light jacket.  Muttering under my breath, hurry up darn it, hurry up.  And I met someone.  What!  Someone else in my woods walking their dog!  The nerve.  With combed hair and makeup.  Hiking type Cabela clothes on.  Young and thin. With a waist!  Boy the nerve of some people.

Poo's and other ramblings of the fevered mind

          I have been sick with the crud for the last couple of days.  Fever, head congestion, snuffles, you know.  So I was less then thrilled with Zoey's daily ritual today.

           I have woods behind my house.  4 or 5 blocks worth.  We have trails throughout them the deer made and it is a great place to walk Zoey so I don't have to clean up her.... well you know..... Poo!  But what a price I pay with a scent dog.

     I suppose all dogs are like this.  Heavens forbid they go in the same place twice.  And I swear she can smell where she went 5 years ago.  Lately she has decided the only place she really wants to go is 3 blocks away on the top of a steep hill.  To find her way she has to sniff every leaf and blade of grass plus exposed tree branch on the way.

       Feverish I stumble along in my Uggs and PJ's telling her to just hurry it up.  I don't feel good.  Just GO Zoey I mutter.  Several times she stops and I think Yes Yes, only to have her continue on.  Since I have been sick I have tried just putting her on her chain, welling to put up with the mess just so I could stay huddled under my blanket feeling sorry for myself.  Being the selfish little Witch she is she just barks every 2 seconds over and over and over again until I finally crawl out there and do the walk.

       Times like this I really miss Rick.  This is his ritual.  He is the one who got her started on this.  Him.  Not me.

      After that ritual is the (now you must feed me ritual).  All this before I have even enjoyed my first cup of good strong hot coffee which I am rarely too sick to enjoy.

    She will lay her head on my lab and softly whine under her breath.  If I move a hair she leaps back with a silly grin, putting her chest to the floor and her butt up...tail madly waving.  Yay, your coming. Lets eat.  
 
                           

    This was also part of Ricks ritual.  I had her trained so I could just keep food in her bowl and she would eat when she got hungry.  Rick decided that looked boring so he slowing started adding more and more items to the menu.  Today.   I give her 1/3 cup of natures balance natural soft food mixed with senior Flint River Ranch Plus with a slab of natural lamb and rice sausage cut up and stirred into the entire mess.  It must be heated for 20 sec to bring out the subtle flavors.  If I have done it correctly she will have the entire bowl eaten within 10 sec but if it isn't exactly the way she likes it it will sit there the entire day while she looks at you reproachfully and pretends to be wasting away at my feet.  She will lay facing away from me with a timed huge sigh every few seconds. 

    Today I must have been right on as she has eaten and gone back to bed.  Her way of finishing up a perfect morning.   Me, I am sitting here finally drinking my coffee and making an entry.  An hour after I got up.  This dog better be really glad I like her.  Really glad.
    
                  

Good Morning

     

        Good Morning J-land.  Hope the world finds you all hale and well.

         Its a cool crisp day in Iowa.  Most of the leaves are off the trees and the air has that spicy dead leaves smell which I love.  My morning walk in the woods with Zoey is so nice.  Today she isn't feeling the best.  I am afraid her pancreatitis is becoming chronic.   We both slept until 10:15 am, wow and then I found out she had gotten sick in the night.  Fortunately not on the carpet.  I gave her some popcorn last night and it must have been too much for her.  No more people snacks.

      We didn't go out last night.  My MIL decided she didn't want the LPN coming after she had had company all weekend.  We had it planned for her to come after my MIL usually goes to bed and I don't know why us watching her sleep would be any different then the LPN, but anyway we canceled.  

    It is important as caregivers to get some time for yourself.  You will build up some resentment no matter how much you love the person at the disruption of your life.  Especially if it goes on for a long time.  Then you feel guilty because you feel this resentment because for it to end means your family member is no longer alive.  I know this because I worked 10 years in Oncology.  Its a normal feeling.  That is why I know it important to have these days off.  So I have to have a talk with my MIL and see what was behind her refusal.  Did she feel especially sick last night?  Or as can be with myMIL was it just her being ornery because she can be that at times also.  I know the relatives spent a lot of time discussing my BIL & swapping horror stories in the kitchen and even with her poor hearing maybe she heard and is mad at us all.  I spent a lot of time this weekend shushing everyone.  Sigh.  Whatever the reason I was disappointed but we will try again for Friday.

    I watched a movie here with Zoey and had popcorn.  Since we are down to one car I couldn't go over there and I just stayed here and relaxed.  We watched The White Countess.  It was pretty good.  I didn't go to bed until 2 am so I am very happy I slept in.  Now I am doing my laundry and cleaning house.  Then I will go to my MIL's and work today.  2 more nights of work.  It goes fast.  Soon my long week off.  Soon.

    Take care all.

     

Good Morning....Whoops, afternoon

                      

     I am cranky today.   Why?  I hate telephone beggers.  Buy this, take this credit card, donate to this charity.  Heather calls everyday to tell me about my credit card, and no, there is nothing wrong with my credit card report so please call her back so she can give me such a deal.  I really hate Heather because she is a recording.  When I slam the phone down on her it loses some of the effect.  Every day I get a call for Reekie?????? to thank him for his wonderful donation, What!  We didn't get the pledge card in the mail?  Oh my we will send it right away if you will just tell us again you wanted to donate that 30 dollars.

    Reekie will never, ever, even when hell freezes over donate to your organization as long as I have any to say about it and I do have plenty to say about it and never, and I mean never call me or any of my relatives again I screech and I slam down the phone.  But they do call again.  Everyday.  Even though I am on a do not call list.  Even though I sleep days.  Even though I am compelled to answer the phone in case something terrible has happened to my MIL,  AAARRRRGGGGHHHHH.

     Now Rickie is much more patient then me.  He lets them get through their talk as he says they only get paid if they get through their talk.  I don't agree.  Rudeness is rudeness and why should they get paid for it.  Why when I have told them everyday for a year not to even darken my phone with their pleas again.  With me they get a quick hangup.  And since I am the one who works around here why is it they ask for Reekie anyway!

    Anyway this belongs in my rant journal, sorry about that.  I had the pleasure of getting an all time high of 8 calls today while I was taking my much needed sleep.  Yes I realize they do not know I sleep days and work nights.  But.......I AM ON A DO NOT CALL LIST.  Does that even work?

     The weather is cool outside.  It was beautiful this weekend.  In the 60's.  Perfect bike riding weather.  Not that I did any but I judge all my weather by how it would feel on my bike.  Windy, warm, cold, rainy.

     We had company most of last week and this weekend.  I got Saturday off work which was nice as I actually got to visit.  Since I was soooo tired that day it was a real blessing not to have to work.  I may not think it was such a blessing on payday but for now, its grand.

    The phone just rang.   My son answered it.  I can hear him turning someone down.  Does it never end!

    Just a reminder what is around the corner.  Looks like fun doesn't it.
 

          We have been van hunting.  Looking for one in like new condition with low miles and a hitch for my bike rack for under 1000.  In blue, LOL.  It gives me something to dream about.  Dreaming is good. 

     Well.  We are going out to eat.  Haven't been out since the 31 and Rick really needs out for awhile.  He is like a caged beast.  He hasn't been out of my MIL's house for 4 days.  I will not drink wine.  Doesn't agree with me. Don't expect any weird posts tonight, LOL.

Veterans Day

 Veterans Day

By Taylor Weinman

 

 

Representing the red white and blue

The colors of our flag stand out proud and true.

The white stars on blue background with red and white stripes

Remind me of these veterans, who all risked their lives.

Just so the people of the U.S. could all live in peace and be free

These are the heroes that represent you and me.

They stood up strongly, untied as one,

And kept up the fighting until they were done.

And although some have fallen, and lost their lives in war,

We pray for each one of them.

And now that their souls live on forever more,

Above in God's hands.

They watch over our nation,

And give us strength to triumph over others with strong anticipation.

So every year, when this day comes by,

Think of all the veterans that while fighting, had to die.

And remember that they were people

With fire and passion embedded inside.

They die for this country,

So remember and honor them with pride

Working

   Working the last 2 nights and it is hard to be back.  My knee is out of wack again and my back hurts.  New changes at work depress me.  Wish the management would just let us do our job without piling all the other stuff on us.  And wouldn't it be great if we got compliments instead of told all the things we need to improve.  They take a system that isn't broken and break it all the time.  I just shake my head and count the days until I can retire.

    2 more nights to go.  I was charge tonight.  No major problems.  Just busy.  Came home and watched the horney bucks chase the does through the trees.  The does didn't look to interested,  There were a couple of nice looking bucks out there this time.

   Well, time for  bed.  I am mentally worn out.  See you all later.     

                     

Fun Day, Yup you heard me right

      

            My MIL's nieces are here from Missouri.  They are both chiefs so it is always wonderful when they come because they cook wonderful food and are fun to be around.  My MIL always perks up.  Yippy, none of Julie's cooking!

           Yesterday they bought out the store to make homemade lasagna, the chiefs way.  I make lasagna I heat the oven,  put the box in and wait 90 minutes.  They make the lasagna you spend at least 5 hours cutting, chopping, grating,peeling, slicing, browning, tasting, baking, laughing, sipping on a cold beer and whipping up a wonderful side salad lasagna.  The results are much more impressive then the boxed one I usually serve and I have not seen my MIL eat such a large potion in months.  And a salad!  Plus the really great news!  She made 2 and we froze one.  We can have it again.

        Ricks cousin is addicted to Menards our home repair store.  Every time she comes we have to go to Menards.  We have to walk every single isle.  Its a hoot.  They are leaving today and then tomorrow we have more relatives coming on for a couple of days and Saturday another.  Of course this is my first day back to work so I will only see them for short periods.

       Yesterday my van bit the dust again.  We have been having trouble with the fuel rail.  Thought we had it fixed, but as soon as the weather cooled priceless gas started shooting out all over.  Rick tried to fix it which made him reek of gas which in turn gave me an asthma attack.  So to replace it will cost us 500 dollars.  Gee, what fun.  Now what rock will I find that under.  So we are down to 1 car.  Hard to do when we are living in 2 houses.  And our furnace which we put a new fan motor in now needs a new fan.  Plus my dental insurance went up 120% and my medical.  Can we say ouch here!

      I walked Zoey in the woods and heard a loud crack.  Looking up I was a branch coming down with a squirrel hanging on for dear life.  It hit the ground with a thud.  Poor little thing.  It sat there stunned for awhile but then took off.  Even Zoey looked concerned.
 
    Well, time to pop in the shower and get over to my MIL's.  I am hoping work goes well and the next 4 nights fly by.  Have a great weekend.

More really bad poetry

The falling leaves
fell off of my trees
the falling leaves of
mostly green

They covered my lawn
No grass could I see
If they think I am raking them
well they are wrong

Because I didn't get my lawn mowed
for 2 months
The falling leaves look
better then that tall grass.

And if I am patient
and I can be patient
the falling snow
will hide the leaves

This is a song
about a lazy homeowner
who hates yardwork
and this is the end.

 The end


   Oh man, don't ya just love bad poetry?  Its just so........well so bad :-)

White Chicken Chili

  Absolutely great tasting and low fat and healthy also.  Here you go Jeanie.

 2 tablespoons of olive oil
1 to 1 1/2 pounds of chicken breasts cut into chunks
1/2 medium onion, chopped.
2 cups chicken broth (16) oz
1 can diced green chiles (4) oz
2 cans of great northern beans (15.5) drained and rinsed.
1 cup of white button mushrooms, quartered, ( I like the baby bella's also)
1 tsp cilantro, chopped.
2 tablespoon of southwestern seasoning,  bam!
  

       Heat the oil in a large pot over a medium-high heat.  Add the chicken and cook until lightly browned and no longer pink in the center.  Remove the chicken to a plate and set aside.  In the same pot add the onion, garlic, and mushrooms.  Cook until they are tender but not browned.  Stir in the chicken broth, green chiles, beans, cilantro and seasoning.   Return the chicken to the pot, cover and simmer for 5 minutes or until the chicken is cooked through.  Top with shredded montary jack cheese and fat free sour cream.  This is a phase 1 recipe for those doing south beach.  Makes 6 servings.

                                                                                                         

Long days

       

    My days seem long, but boring.  I would rather be strolling along the path above.  Oh well, time enough to do that.   I was reading through my journal from last year looking for my white chili recipe.  What a difference a year has made.  I need to get back into that mindset of dieting and being happy go lucky.  Gee, I used to have a sense of humor!

    Today I stayed with my MIL while Rick did some things here that needed to be done to get ready for, horrors, winter.  My MIL is much weaker, but true to how she has always been is extremely weak especially while your there.  She needs maximum help to get her feet in bed and get out bed when I am downstairs.  When I was upstairs cleaning up she pops and goes into the kitchen for a muffin.  Hummmmmm.  I told her to not wear us out too soon as she was going to need us for real in the future, but she just grinned.

    She is talking alot about dying and getting close to the end.  I think she is depressed.  Upset BIL hasn't called in over 3 weeks and tired of the same boring routine.  Not so bored she wants to go for a ride or do anything different, just bored.  Still not having pain much, just occasionally.  Thats good. 

   For supper I made beef stroganoff.  You know what?  Cooking is not all its made up to be.  I don't mind cooking so much as thinking about what to cook.  I want to be a chief.  Have someone else do all the chopping and cleaning. Then I might like to cook.  Who knows.

   Well, I have to make this short.  I still can't find my white chili recipe.  Darn.  I plan on having it for supper and I love the recipe I have.  I know it in my archives somewhere.  Ta all.

Cats and Dogs

  I got to the house after our walk yesterday and Ebony was in the middle of room.  Zoey ran up, sniffed her and took off to smell something else.  You should have seen this cat, it was so funny.  You have all seen a cat stalking something.....extreme slow motion.  That is what the cat did.   Very slowly crouching down low she made her way across the room to under the table,  slowly slowly probably thinking to herself....OK, make no sudden moves, no moves that will make that huge dog want to chase me.  The second Zoey wasn't looking Ebony ripped off up the stairs and into the back bedroom closet where she stayed the entire time Zoey was there.   Now how are they suppose to get along and get to know each other that way, LOL.    Finally after about 4 hours I brought Zoey home.  I was afraid the cat would have a burst bladder or worse yet use the closet.  So all in all not to bad.  I guess I don't have to worry about Zoey.  She never really settled down at my MIL's though.  Maybe today will be better.

    Our supper was superb last night.  Rick grilled some steaks and I made baked sweet potatoes and brussel sprouts with sauted pecan's on top.  We had a delicious bread and apple pie for dessert though no one ate the pie as we were stuffed.

     My MIL always say we cook too gourmet for her.  What was gourmet about that?  Although a good cook my MIL always only used salt and pepper as spices and usually make a roast, potatoes, gravy and a vegetable.  She would boil the veggies to within an inch of their life.  I like mine crisper and steamed.  Never was fond of gravy and there is a way to make pork roast without having it dry as shoe leather.  Salt....well occasionally. My MIL salts her salt.  My MIL does however make the worlds best apple pie.  I judge everyone by hers.

    Rick gave me the sweetest card.  We don't exchange gifts, haven't for years.  Seems silly when we do it all year when we find something we think the other will like.  More spontaneous and fun that way.

    I forgot to set clocks back.  Rick always did that.  Usually I worked until they changed the date and would have to either work an extra hour, boo, or work one less.  For some reason 13 1/2 hours was a killer.   Its amazing what a difference one more hours makes.

    Well, time to get off my butt and get the dog walked before we go to my MIL's.   Still haven't heard from the BIL in weeks.  Peace and quiet.   We are having company at my MIL's so I am going to do some cleaning.  It usually looks good but I have to vacuum and dust.  I have the beds ready and I want to clean the upstairs bathroom.  Hope everyone has a great day.

Don't ya just days off

                  

        There are great things about working 12 hour shifts......the long stretch off.  Oh Yah.  I don't have to be back to work until Thursday.   They wanted me to work yesterday, but I couldn't.  It was my MIL's birthday!
 
           
   What do you get or do for someone's birthday under the circumstances we are under?   One of her friends said she wouldn't wish her a happy birthday because it didn't seem right.   Hummmmm.   I did.  I wished her a happy birthday because we didn't expect this one.  A bonus birthday. 

    What do you cook for someone who eats maybe 10 bites?   She wanted broasted chicken so we ordered some.  No cake as she didn't want anything sweet. 

     What kind of gift?   Well she always loved flowers and cards so she got lots of those.  Almost everyone sent her a card this year except my BIL who we haven't heard from in a couple of blissfully quiet weeks.   But it hurt her I know.  She kept waiting for the call that didn't come.  But all in all it wasn't a bad day.

    Tomorrow is our official anniversary.
                 
                                  
        34 years.  It is hard to believe.  It has gone by so fast.  Life has gone by so fast.   I am making him work as I want a grilled steak and some sweet potatoes.   I will saute the mushrooms.  We will be at my MIL's of course but she might eat a little.  I am bringing Zoey over also.  She is so much better.  Thin still but better and being alone so much is making her neurotic.  Hopefully she won't kill the cat or knock my MIL over.  Keep your fingers crossed.

     I watched a great movie.  It was called Mostly Martha.  It is a German film with subtitles and had a happy ending.  I need happy endings right now.  It has a subtle humor which I appreciated.  I highly recommend it.  They do a lot of cooking of the most fantastic food.  I probably gained 10 pounds just watching it.  Even my MIL liked it which is rare.  If it was made after 1960 she thinks most movies are dumb.  Subtitles drive her nuts and dry humor isn't her cup of tea but she still liked it.  Wonders of wonders.

    I haven't been around here much as you can probably tell.  I have been working on some personal issues and taking care of my MIL.  No matter how much you love someone this wears on you.  Emotionally and physically.  I am working on handling it better.  So Zoey and I are walking.  5 miles today, 5 miles tomorrow.  Then I have to get a perfect card for my hubby and Zoey and I are going to see how things go with her at my MIL's.  The weekend will be good.  No hospice visitors so she can just get used to the house.  She is always running around really excited at first about being somewhere with all new smells.

     Hope everyone is having a great weekend.  Joyce, I hope your husband is improving daily.  Take care.  Special thanks to Jeanie and Mary.  You both know why.