Home briefly

         Well I am home briefly to check my email and see my dog, LOL.   Things are going pretty good.  My MIL has started to develope ascites in the last 2 days which is disturbing and is having chest pain most mornings.  Ascites in fluid in the abd. cavity that can get to be a huge amount.  Her tummy has doubled in 2 days.  Bad sign and also one that will make her more uncomfortable which is bad. Now I am starting to think about the lasix for her again but for a different reason.  She has started to get nauseated with increase of fluid in belly.  Usually some nitro and oxygen in the morning helps with the chest pain but I wonder how long.

     I have been sleeping on the couch.  My back is still acting up but I think it is getting better slowly.  The first night my MIL took a sleeping pill before 7pm and was up at 5:30.  Yikes.  I talked her into waiting at least until 8:30 for the pill and we slept until 6:30 today.  That one hour seems to have made a big difference.  A couple of times during the night I got up and thought she had died as she looks so sick and pale plus she has some apnea.  She is hoping that is how she goes so for her sake I hope so also.  Each days makes her a little more miserable.

   Well, I am going to hop in the shower as I like mine better and then go back.  I hope everyone had a great weekend.

Quick entry

         Out watering my flowers this morning and once again the plants scared the heck out me by irrupting in cries when I watered them.  Checking into the pot and a new nest of baby rabbits!  Whats up with that?  Now they are in my other planter.  These are younger.  Am I going to have to put a fence around my porch?  So I guess I am done watering this planter also.  My flowers are looking pretty bad to say the least.

Friday

              

           My BIL leaves today for a vacation.  Just a question.  I haven't been able to afford a vacation for 3 years and I work full time, how can he?   Now now Julie, just be happy for him to be able to get away.  Shame on you for being petty.

      So anyway we are going to be there more then here for the next 7 days.  Since my back still feels like someone left a knife in the middle of it I am going to go slow and easy on the cleaning.  Rick will do the heavy stuff.  Hopefully we have the house in shape and looking sparkling soon.

     I am going to make beef vegetable soup for supper tonight and also some brownies which I am not going to touch.  We want things around to tempt her.   BIL has left some great treats for her to nibble on.

       She really looks terrible these days.  So thin and frail and getting yellower by the day.  One thing I am kind of upset about is all the meds hospice has her on.  She hates taking meds and they keep adding some.  I agree with the pancreatic enzymes.  Might help her digestion.  But why all the others.  Aspirin, ones for her stomach, blood pressure meds.  Her blood pressure is low these days, aspirin?  Now they want to add Lasix.   That will really drive her nuts.  She is too weak to be running to the bathroom all the time and she is already pretty dry, why the lasix.  They think it will help her breathing in the morning, but I think the side effects out way the benefits.  We shall see.

    My back is still hurting.  I have only taken one of the pain pills, I hate taking them, they make me so tired, but it is nice to have it at night when I can't sleep.  I haven't seen any improvement in my back yet.  Must have been the last big ebay sale and all the packing that got it all messed up again.

    Saw my asthma doctor yesterday.  He gave me a couple of new meds as I was wheezing up a storm and he says my asthma in not under control.  I could have told him that, LOL.  Once the humidity goes down it will be better.  I was hoping my lungs would be all healed from the chlorine by this time and I would be off the asthma meds for good.  Looks like it is not to be.

     Well, I will be popping in at times when I come home to take care of Zoey.  We are not sure if we are sleeping there.  Maybe one of us there and one here for the dog taking turns.  She keeps her house so hot I will have trouble sleeping there.  Take care all.

Doctor Doctor

                                    

     From no doctors appointments to 3 doctor appointments in the space of 3 hours.  When I fall apart I really fall apart.

    I couldn't get into see my regular doctor until the 9th so she gave me some pain pills to see me through until then and refilled my lasix.  Then I go to see my lung doctor tomorrow about my asthma which has been acting up and to get pulmonary function tests again and next tuesday to Omaha to see a specialist.  All this on top of missing 2 nights of work.  Time to have a sale in my shop.

    I did call in at work.  I am now having spasms on top of the pain.  Please don't have let the disc's have ruptured.  I can't lay down, I can only seem to sit upright and stiff to get some relief.  Normally when my back gets like this I have noticed it seems to get better almost as fast as it got bad so I hope this still is true.  I have been lucky not having this pain for quite awhile so I forgot what it was like.  Now it's like, Oh Yah.... so this why I had the breast reduction, LOL.  How soon we forget.

   Well, time to watch Rick get supper ready, that's always fun.  Take care all.

This Darn Back

           

    I am so tired.  I just couldn't get comfortable to sleep.
 

  Darn back.  I have mentioned before that I have 2 bulging disc's in between my shoulder blades.  The reason I had my breast reduction was to take some of the pressure off my back and hopefully get some pain relief.  It helps take at least 90% of the chronic pain.  But I still have pain at times.  Some days worse then others and this is one of those times.  If it doesn't get better in a couple of days I will have to see the doctor and see if they have gone past bulging and right into rupturing.
                  

   It is hard to describe the pain.  I feel like my back is swollen from the inside out.  Taking a deep breath hurts, the pain goes up into my neck and down to my lower back.  It burns, stabs, and just plain hurts.  Whaaaaaaaa.  

   Usually in the winter I soak in as hot a tub as I can stand but the thought of a hot tub bath in this weather doesn't appeal to me at all.  I alternate using ice, and biofreeze.  Motrin 800 mg 3 times a day and just take it easy.

    I am not sure if I will be able to work tonight.  The thought of missing 2 12 hours shifts makes me cry.  The thought of lifting or pulling patients up makes me cry.  What to do, what to do?

   Now I would love to say my co-workers will help me out, but bad backs are a nursing standard.  We almost all have bad backs after awhile so the sympathy level goes down as far as how many times you will be able to push your lifting off on someone else, LOL.  They don't want to end up at the pain level your at.  I can certainly understand that!  And Murphy's law will hold true that without them planning it that way I will get the heaviest patients on the floor that require the most lifting and moving around.  We have lots of equipment these days to help with moving and it works so much better then the old days, but for some things it just takes good old muscle power. 

   So do I take tonight off also and rest my back giving me the rest of the week off?  Do I go to work and continue to stress the discs causing them to rupture if they haven't already.  Oh the dilemma.

    Well are you totally sick of the back pain entry, LOL.  Me too! Sorry.  I am feeling sorry for myself.  I will have to meditate and see if I can get cheerful again.  Look at something pretty to take my mind off of my poor poor pitiful body.  Lots of people are so much worse off then me.  I will not whine.  So here are some great whine graphics.
 

Ouch

                
   Well doing more packing and I lifted up a box I just finished.  Hot searing pain and I am done for the day.  Darn back.  It wasn't that heavy, only 12 pounds but I must have not used my leg muscles enough so now I pay the price.  So here I am, biofreeze on my back, tylenol to take the edge off and missing 12 hours of work.  I hope it is better with some rest.

Life

 

  At the post office yesterday, it is busy busy busy,  I have several packages to mail so hubby is with me.  Long crowded lines.  Suddenly hubby strides away rapidly to read something on the board across the room!  What could be so interesting I wonder?  As I am wondering about that all of a sudden the most god awful odor hits my nose.  GAG... his silent but deadly has struck again and I am trapped as s everyone else for fear of losing our places in the line.  Everyone is busy trying to look innocent while I am shooting dagger glances at my husband who is still innocently reading the board with a kind of I have no idea anything is going on look.  Men!
 

    Yesterday was a busy day.  I had an ebay sale end during the weekend so only slept a few hours so I could pack and ship.   I also got my hair cut.  She styled it for me also but frankly I didn't care for the wild look she gave me so restyled it when I got home to something more suited to me.  Work yesterday was busy as it seemed like the entire town came in for Detox and I was wore out enough I went to bed early.  So much for my day off.  2 more days and then I am off for my stretch.

    My BIL is going away for a week.  Yippy.   We will be at my MIL's most of the time so I won't be writing much.  I have some deep cleaning to do plus we want to talk to her frankly and see how she thinks its going with BIL.  Since he is her youngest and she has always forgiven him his every move she hasn't said much outwardly.  Just expressed dismay at her homes mess and upset she can't find anything since he decided to move everything from where she had kept it for decades.  But she won't say anything bad about him.  Heck as a mother I might not about my son either.  But with him gone we might find out exactly how things are going. 

   We are going to see what is all missing from the house.  My FIL collected coins for decades.  Old ones and ones from the mint.  Are they gone?  Are the stamps gone?  Is his jewelry gone?  Or did he just move things around.  Hopefully we can reassure ourselves also.  We just don't trust him.  He was so terrible when my FIL was ill I have never forgiven him so maybe that is clouding my judgment.  If my MIL is perfectly happy then we will just keep on like we are.  If she isn't then we will discuss moving in.

    Otherwise not much going on.  I am sitting around today not going anywhere since I took my lasix this morning.  Can't go anywhere.  The heat is terrible.  It was 90 with a 90% humidity yesterday.  Terrible.  Everything looks moist and breathing is difficult.  It is not much better today.  That is why my breathing is bad this week.  Hopefully a break in the weather is coming soon.

   Take care everyone.  Hope you week goes well.

Feeling better

  Thank you all for your concern.  Yes I know, I am a terrible patient.  It was just so humid last night at work I think that is what the problem was.  I slept like a dream and promise to take my lasix tomorrow.  I am off.  I have a lot to do tomorrow.  Have to plan all my trips around a pit stop I guess.  Get my hair cut tomorrow, no more shaggy dog, Yah.

 

My breathless night.

  The night started out OK.  I got my sweet patients back and was doing well.   I picked another up at 11 because the charge nurse couldn't handle a full load,  Grit my teeth.  So I was busy but nice busy. 

   After the 9th time pulling a lady up in bed my shoulder was screaming.  I took a motrin.  20 minutes lates I was having trouble breathing.   Used my inhaler.   For some reason it really affected me poorly.  I got shaking and totally exhausted.  I was having chest pain which I get with an asthma attach and really feeling punk.  Man I hate feeling this way.  I sat in front of a fan but it took a couple of hours before I felt better and I was still having chest pain.  My ankles are swollen to double their size so I know I need to be taking my lasix to get some of the fluid off.  That is probably part of the problem.  Maybe a little failure again.  But I don't have time to take the lasix.  I want to sleep, I don't want to piddle all day.  Whaaaaaa.  So I took a pain pill and a sleeping pill and am going to sleep as long as possible before work tonight.  I will feel better when I get up.  I will!

   Did have a sweet thing happen.  Our tele tech fosters children.  She had a 3 week old who was going to be turned over to her new adoptive parents.  This took place in our back room because our tele tech had to work and wanted to say goodbye to the baby.  The new parents got to see the baby and hold it for the first time.  It brought tears to my eyes.  Sweet little baby will get a forever home and the couple looked so happy.

                    

My Private journal.

  I was just checking to make sure all who wanted in my private journal can get access.  If you can't get in let me know and I try adding you again.

 http://journals.aol.com/megamom134/rants-and-raves/


   Work tonight,  what fun.  I had a pretty good night last night but didn't get much sleep today.  The hospice nurse called to update me.  They realized my BIL wasn't keeping up informed of what they were finding so are calling us.  We have been going over daily now, well not me on the nights I work.  She said my MIL was asking how much longer she has today.  The nurse told her she felt she would be having Thanksgiving dinner with her husband meaning in heaven.  They are going to let us know when we should move in.  I think my MIL won't ask and she won't want BIL to think she doesn't think he is doing a good job, and he won't ask because then he won't be able to do some of things he has been doing without of knowing plus he has to be in control.  He got mad at her for talking to the dietitian.  He wanted to be the one to talk to her.  Yesterday when we were there I noticed all her banks are emptied.  Hummmmm.

    He also said he was going to have my MIL's company that are coming in a couple of weeks clean her house.  I told him I would email them and tell them not to come if he does something like that.  Clean your own mess BIL.  Her carpet looks terrible.  Cigarette burns, coffee spells, It is going to be really hard to sell the house if he keeps trashing it.  ARRRGGGGHHHHH.

Finally rain....and more

    Nope, not my picture but I wish it was, isn't it wonderful!

     Anyway.  Last night we were watching Deadwood.  I know we said we weren't going to keep watching it, but slowly the language is getting better and it is interesting.  I was slow in canceling them though netfex so I guess we will keep watching.

     Between episodes I ran to the bathroom and Boom!  One of those beginning lightening and thunder bolts that rattle the house and make your hair stand up.  Yikes.   Went into the kitchen just in time for our world to go dark.  Dark except the frequent flashes of lightening from the storm raging outside.  Zoey hugging my legs casting worried looks up at my face.  She is such a whimp when it thunders.


   Fortunately I have many candles and flashlights.  I think we were without power a couple of hours.  I went to bed and was woken up by my AC kicking in.  Every light in the house seemed to be on.  I swear I didn't have that many on when the power shut down.  Happily my computer and all electrical things seem fine.  My son was upset.  Why didn't you turn my TV off when there was so much lightening.  Well dear, we had no time.  We went from, Oh Man listen to that lightening to total darkness in almost a blink of an eye.


    I would like to say thanks to anybody out there who have family that work for the power company.  In the middle of this electrical storm they were out getting our power working.  There were many places in town without power.  I wouldn't have wanted them risking their lives, but am grateful everything in my freezer and fridge didn't melt.  So thanks guys and gals, outstanding.

Animal Cruely must be stopped.

Dear J-Land

I thought you might be interested in this HSUS campaign to persuade the NFL to punish football player and alleged dogfighter Michael Vick appropriately. Now that a grand jury has indicted Michael Vick on federal animal fighting charges--including reports of extreme cruelty to dogs who weren't aggressive enough--it's clearly time for them to get off the dime.

Please ask NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell to suspend Michael Vick immediately for his cruelty. It will only take a minute. Here is the web page .  I couldn't get the link to work.




http://hsus.typepad.com/wayne/2007/07/vick-indictment.html


      I look at Zoey's eyes and wonder what type of person could do the things these people do.  All for greed, for gambling, for ? FUN!
   This man did not need the money.  No one forced him to hang these dogs up and electrocute them.  He did it for FUN?  What type of person does these things?  Look into your pets eyes, then go and sign the petition.  This very sick person and other people like him need to be stopped.

The Scale

       Yesterday  I bought another scale.  Not the scale I wanted, but the scale hubby picked out.  He liked it because it was all glass and chrome. Very sleek.  I wanted the old style since my other one crapped out so fast.  But... the one he liked really did look cool.
                  

    Step on the scale, 115.  WOW.  I like this scale.  Knew the scale was wrong,but liked it anyway.

    Called to hubby.  Honey look!  Stepped on scale.  315!  In 5 minutes.  You should have seen the look of shock on hubby's face, LOL. 

   Wait, I cried, seconds ago I was a slim trim beauty.  This lies.  Try it yourself.  He steps on.  318.  Ok.....proof my diet hasn't gone that badly wrong.  So today, the new scale goes and we get a different one.  Ugly, not sleek,  but correct.

Catching up

    I finally have gotten slightly caught up.   As of today I am once again licensed to be a nurse for the next 3 years.  It only cost me $160.00.  Boy does my work owe me.  But it is a small price to pay actually for what I get out of my job.

    So all day I tested.  Yesterday I briefly stopped by the auction.  They had some nice items, but nothing that would be worth picking up for the shop.  That is a shame because I there are no good auctions coming up on my weekend.  The weekend I work, lots of wonderful auctions with all kinds of things that would be perfect.  Sigh.

   Went to my MIL's yesterday but otherwise just tried to survive the heat.  It is in the 90's and high humidity.  Any kind of movement makes me wringing wet with sweat.  Time to purchase a new kiddy pool. 

    This kiddy wants ones, bad.  Wednesday it is suppose to be 100+.   You stick you lawn chair in that, bare feet in the cold water and close your eyes and instantly your at the beach, sun on your skin, waves lapping at your tanned bikini clad body, handsome lifeguard serving you a drink with an umbrella......and then you open your eyes......

   Well its late, time to hit the bed and read for awhile.  I leave you with one of my favorite bird shots.  Take care all.

    
  At work my nickname is Goddess so being a princess is a bit of a demotion but I can handle it, LOL.

   Well the temps outside are against me.  It was suppose to be in the 80's most of the days I am off.  I had more bike rides planned and a trip to the zoo.  Instead we have temps in the high 90's, Gee thanks Al!  So what to do.  Heat stroke is not on my agenda.  Might be time to drag out the kiddy pool.

    I am going to an auction this afternoon.   With the type of shop I have you always have to be going to sales to replenish your supplies.  So wish me luck I buy low and sale high.  My Motto.  Rick will stay at his mothers while I shop but I can call if I need help with my haul.  Then this evening I have to take tests all night. 

   I am taking a new class on line, Cardiovascular Nursing.   My license is due next month and I am so lazy this year I never got all the CEU's I needed to renew.  I go to so many classes all the time, at least one a pay period, you think that would count but nooooo.   I have to pay for these CEU' and pay dearly for my new license.  And then I can't get it for as many years, but the cost has increased.  Ticks me off, but I have to have it to work.  Does any other profession have to pay for the privilege of working?  I suppose but it just ain't right, LOL.

    I was outside yesterday and looked up at the eve.   Imagine my horror when I saw this.  Millions of horrible little eight legged creatures freshly hatched out a egg sack.  A large egg sack.  Just like the ones the very large and hairy spiders that used to be in my other house used to carry.  Right outside my screened window.  Who knows how many already made their creepy way in my place of sanctum.  So I dispersed them.  Took a stick and wrapped them up like cotton candy and relocated them to the way back woods.  Man they give me the creeps.  Give me a nice smooth snake any day.


    It is time to get ready and go to the auction.  I like to get their early and check every thing out to see if it is worth staying.  Ta all.

Check out the ride.

Bike ride     
  Click on the link above.

It was a lovely hot day.  And a good ride.  Hope everyone is having fun also.

Bike ride

  We are going for a ride this morning.  Back to the meadow with the purple flowers.  I hope to get some good pictures.  I still can't use aol photo's album link.  Anyone else having problems?


   

A Dark, poorly written Poem, by Julie

Stranger in the night,
silently intruding my domain,
banished time and time again,
determined to remain.

every tiny part,
covering all I own,
refusing to give me peace,
Stop I cry.... please I moan.

Dust, mine enemy
my silent intruder,
refusing to leave.
Always at my side,
To be battled daily
Daily.....daily....daily.....daily

A great Bike Ride

    We got a great ride in today.  We went to Adam's and rode but took some new trails they put in.   These trails are grass and sand and I tell you are much different then riding on gravel.  My legs felt like lead and it totally wore me out.  It was so pretty though.  We went through the prettiest meadow with purple flowers all over.  Scared deer as we went around corners and flushing out some pheasants  in the fields..... it was so calming.  Just what I needed.  Exhaust the body so the mind can rest.

   We only did around 8 miles but since it was on so many different surfaces it seemed like further.  I think if we rode there and at the new trail as often as possible we should be ready for the Black Hills in no time.  And I can't wait to take pictures from there.  It is just beautiful.  If you have never been there you should go.  Pretty pricey as everything costs money but so worth seeing.

   I managed to get out of cooking,   I had a small steak and veggies and salad while Rick ate something guaranteed to clog his arteries in record time.  How can that man eat so much and stay as thin as he does.  Sigh.  I gained weight watching him eat.

    I have another ebay sale going on.  My client wants everything sold quickly.  This is definitely the last consignment sale I am doing.  Lots of work for very little money.

    Well, time to go read for awhile.  Take care all.