Don't you think this graphic looks like me?
I heard we had more moods to choose from but Wow. It should fill every emotion that's for sure.
Right now exhaustion is a good one. I am down to one more shift. We have been so busy. We got 9 admits yesterday. It keeps you running. I was charge for 2 nights, but last night got to just enjoy taking care of my patients.
The weather has just been one storm after another. The ground is just mushy and the rivers are all running full and over full in some places. Once again my basement is leaking. And hot and muggy. I couldn't even get my hair to dry yesterday. Now that makes me cranky. We are planning on finally replacing our furnace we have kept going with duck tape and bubble gum and getting central air. I will feel like I died and went to heaven.
My youngest is finally moved over into his new home. Still has no groceries or shampoo but now has toothpaste. They showed up yesterday at 5 right when we were leaving to go out to eat, LOL. That will teach him to call first.
Well. Time for me to hit the hay. I slept terrible yesterday so really need to get rested up. Hope everyone is having a great weekend.
I was at my son's the other day and saw an old book on the table from 1948. Dante's Inferno.
Turns out my son rescued it from the auction. I didn't even know my MIL had this book. What a wonderful book.
"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain,
Through me the way that runs among the lost.
Justice urged on my high artificer;
My maker was divine authority,
The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
And I endure eternally.
Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."
The graphics were just wonderful illustrations by Gustav
Dore. I hadn't read the book in years.
Of course when I was a moody teenager it was on my must read list and I spent many a deary day quoting passages of this wonderful book to all who would listen. What a dork I was. However. It is still a great book and it did my heart good to see my son had saved it. So I was checking on line and found this interesting site. A very abbreviated version but still good.
Dante's inferno.. a virtual tour through hell. Makes me definitely want to stay on the straight and narrow. It justs shows one part of the book. Not purgatory or arriving at heaven.
You have to get the book to read the rest of it. The poetry is among the best.
Thank you all for your emails and replies. I feel better this morning.
Death is a part of life and I do understand it. Believe me. I also believe when it is your time the most skilled doctor won't be able to save you. Karma. So many times you feel a sense of relief the persons suffering has ended and they are on their way to a brand new journey. Yes...I do believe in a afterlife.
I guess I was just unprepared for this. Shocked. He was so healthy looking. So it hurt.
I worked oncology for 10 years. Loved it. People would ask me how I could work that department and get to know all these people that would eventually die. Well believe it or not not everyone dies from cancer anymore. We have some very successful treatment out there. But with the ones who didn't have a good outcome it was wonderful to be able to help them and keep them comfortable. And a honor to get to know them and their families.
So I will get by this. I work tonight starting my long stretch. Should be interesting as my back is really on the brink today. We also are expecting severe storms. My computer has been off more then on lately due to the lightening storms all over. Strange weather.
Speaking of which. I can hear the thunder so I should close down again. Thanks again.
I am so full of sorrow today. If you think nurses don't care then you don't know people. Some hide it better. Some can not show it until they are alone. Some choose not to share. But we hurt. I am hurting sooooo bad tonight. Broken and wondering why I keep doing this to myself. Why did I choose to put myself into this position. I could have been anything. Done anything. Painless things.
I feel emotions are a good thing. I believe in feeling your entire emotions.....but sometimes, tonight, maybe I am wrong. Maybe not feeling this would be nice. Nice. I probably won't post this. I did post it on my other journal. Will I ruin someones night. Make them sad. Invite them to join me? In my sorrow.
Nursing is a great profession, don't get me wrong. But it also a profession that you have to take a lot of classes for the rest of your life. And they always seem to fall on your day off. So today, instead of enjoying my day off I have to sit in on a hour boring class. And learn again about things I already know and have known for years. So the hospital has proof they have competent help working there. The fact that they are adding a 8 hour day to the front of my 4 day 12 hours a day stretch doesn't seem to matter. That fact the most of them say they couldn't work that many 12's in a row much less that many with another day added to the front. Sigh. Whine. Waaaaaaahhhh.
So anyway. That is what I am up to. Class from 8 to 4. I hope it is a stormy awful day so I don't mind being in.
My son spent the first night in his new home last night. How exciting for him. Of course he didn't buy a single bit of food but his computer and game system are there. His room look sad and lonely. And dusty.
Well, off I go. To fill my head of proof that I can do the job I have been doing for the last 29 years. Bye all.
