Ebony my MIL's cat looking regal. We are trying to get her and my dog to not kill each other since she will probably be coming here to live some day. So far it is not going well. Anyone want a really sweet fat cat?
Back to work tonight. It has been a good week off even if I didn't get much accomplished. I did rest up and think I keep up with the dust. Yesterday I planted all my tomatoes and finished my flowers. They all look great and if they live I will have tomatoes coming out my ear.
This morning I spend emailing and calling all our elected officials to give them my 2 cents on their illegal alien amnesty bill. 2 thumbs down here.
A couple of years ago one of our nurses became a citizen. We had a big party for here and made her a Cake shaped and decorated like a flag. We had a t-shirt made saying Proud American Citizen and she got some flag pins. She was and is proud to be a citizen of our country, and now her country. Her children are legally here and doing well. It took her many years and to see this bill really makes her angry. As it does anyone who spent years doing it the legal way. But she says. By doing it legal I have the full support of my country. I don't have to worry about using my legal name, sending my children to college, each knock on the door. And doing it right was worth it. She will earn retirement benefits and get all the benefits every American citizen gets. I am proud of her.
Thanks to my grandparents for coming from Germany on my Moms side and Sweden from my Fathers side I can have all the freedoms of this country because they did it legally. I am accountable to all the laws. I pledge to this flag and no other. I am American first.
So anyway enough of that. My MIL and I had a nice talk yesterday. She says my BIL isn't planning on staying. We both admit to being worried about the way he looks. I do feel bad for him. I have an addiction to food which I have trouble controlling. Drink is the same way. Who knows at the time what your decisions will mean to you in the future. I realize he is rightfully fearful of what his future will be like. It is sad. I have never been down and out.
But, I come from strong women stock. When my Mom fled my dad with just the clothes on our back she clawed tooth and nail to get a good job and better herself with night classes to make a living for us. When I have a crisis I panic briefly and then buckle down to fix it. I have been sole support for the last 13 years. Everything I have I worked for and earned. So I am not as sympathetic maybe as I should be. Not everyone can fix their mistakes or live with them. I should be a little more empathetic about my BIL because he truly is at the bottom. Hopefully he can claw his way up at least enough to survive.
Be happy all.
P.S. I am swallowing my fear and calling the vet today to see if they got the biopsy results. Keep your fingers crossed.
Last night my dog Zoey started choking on a treat. Coughing and gagging for 40 minutes. I called the vet who reassured me by telling me things I should have known. She is able to get air in as she is breathing and to just keep an eye to make sure it doesn't dislodge and really choke her. Scared me to death! We should be finding out any day what the path report showed. I wonder if they will call us or I'll have to call? Nice being a dog as she has no worried about waiting to find out what the biopsy showed. She is feeling so much better and on our walk yesterday she was tearing through the tall grass just like a puppy. Her fur is starting to come back pretty good.
It rained again today so no bike ride as it is suppose to rain off and on all day. Sigh. My hit the flea markets today. I also haven't got my tomatoes planted and want to go pick some out. My last day off, what to be productive. And check on my MIL of course. Busy busy.
My BIL has supposedly stopped drinking. Hubby's relative left some wine and beer over at my MIL and we went to get it so there was no temptation, the wine was gone. He was so bad when my FIL was sick. I am sick about this.
Well I have been messing around with the AOL pictures and trying to see how to mix them around. These are just some old pictures I had around from our vacations and my favorite fishing spot. Not sure how I like the pictures this way as you lose alot of the detail and they look fuzzy. I did see someone do some flowers though that looked great so I am going out when the wind dies down to get some shots.
We are having gale force winds outside today. All night long things hitting the windows and one big old tree fell in the back woods and crashed down. Made for a fitful nights rest.
All of the visiting relatives are gone now and it should quiet down for awhile. My MIL needs a rest though mentally the stimulation has been good for her. I was upset to see she is still missing meals. Now she just sits and waits for my BIL to get her something. I told her she was getting up and getting her drinks and meals before he came and not to miss anymore meals waiting for him. She is still able to open a boost or heat some soup, make a sandwich. Its just alarming how fast the weight is dropping off.
Maybe I am in a bit of denial though. I remember when my FIL was dying my MIL nagged him non stop about eating and he didn't want to. I finally told her to just stop nagging him and let him eat what and when he wanted to. Maybe I should be following my own advice. It just seems to be going so fast. But I think she would have to be eating non stop to keep enough calories in her to stay ahead of what the cancer is burning. If only I could burn calories that fast and without exercising. Without having cancer also.
She is still in very little pain. Some cramping which I think is from starvation, your body will act that way but otherwise no pain, just tired. That is good.
I have been pretty much trying to avoid my BIL. He keeps popping up here and using my computer, but I told him my mornings I am off I do my work in the shop so at least I have my mornings to myself. My hubby gave him one of my BIL's bonds we have been keeping for him and told him to cash it so he had his own money and wouldn't need mom's especially when his son comes next week.
I think my BIL was planning on his son coming here alot and playing with my son's game systems or my computer. We told him we both will be sleeping all day and my son doesn't let anyone use his games without him being here. It was fine when we were off but I need my sleep. I am laying down some guidelines right away since he plans on staying here. His son is a pretty good kid though and I am looking forward to seeing him. Haven't seen my nephew since he was 3. He is 12 now.
I have my computer all set up and working good again. I am using a free AVG virus program and zone alarm. Not opening any attachments and I am scanning each email. Hopefully I will never get another virus but they say nowadays its not if you get one, but what to do when you get it. Sad.
Take care everyone and enjoy the moments.
Well, I had taken some days off working in my shop or anything while my son was here and now it is time to get back to work. So last night I did some listing and will spend this morning listing more. Can't make money if I don't list thing to sale.
The weather is cloudy here, we are hoping for a bike ride later so it might be nice and cool and a good day to ride. They have replaced all the art sculptures downtown and we might ride down there so I can get some pictures and do another entry in my bike journal. I did put an entry in the other day of our ride if you want to read it.
We also are going over to my MIL this morning. The hospice nurse is coming and I want to talk to her about my MIL weight loss and see if she has any idea's how to slow it down.
Just want to clarify. My MIL is happy my BIL is here. She worries about him so I am happy she is happy. I think she trusts him but she has said many times she is tired of giving him money all the time. But she is happy he came for a visit. She doesn't really want him to stay here though. She thinks he should stay where he was so he is close to his son. Now you know I would be pleased with that, LOL.
My husband and I have talked and he is going to get her credit card and just keep it here. I just don't trust BIL. Don't trust the way he is looking after her either. Even my son said he was worried and asked us to get back in the picture. We have been, but we stayed away awhile to let them have their visit. Well, she is missing meds, missing her drinks, he took her out and to the bank! She isn't walking much at all now and hasn't wanted to leave the house for awhile. When BIL's son gets here who will be paying for his entertainment? My MIL.
I was so hoping this was going to be stress free. I want my MIL's last days to be soft and warm and comfortable. Not worrying about BIL. My FIL spent his last days worrying about him and now my MIL, but the difference is my MIL is confused alot these days and he is taking advantage of her.
I do not know if he is still on drugs. I don't think he is drinking as he made no attempt to hide it last time and I don't think he would this time either. He looks like he has some serious meth teeth going on, but not some of the other signs I see with heavy meth users. Nice thing about being a nurse. I can usually spot a user a mile a way. He doesn't look at all healthy though and I wonder if he has something.
My husband is going to get BIL out of the house while I talk to my MIL. I want to ask her if she has any concerns. I know BIL has been going though her closets and acting like he owns the house and she is the unwelcome guest. Ticks me off. He even moved into her bedroom! The hospice nurse has voiced her concerns to me. I am counting her meds. She isn't on pain meds yet but does get sleeping pills. I am sick we are having to go through this. It just isn't fair to my MIL. Plus BIL has put a stop to her giving her things away to relatives she wants to have them. It is her stuff to give away. ARRRGGGHHH.
Thank you all for your support. I feel like a real witch sometimes always telling my hubby what a creep is brother is. Thank goodness he isn't like him. Unfortunately my hubby doesn't handle confrontation well. He doesn't like to deal with it. But it doesn't go away just because you ignore it. I told him we have to face this and right now for his mothers sake. If it means packing BIL up and kicking him out I will do it to make her last days better. I haven't been a nurse for 28 years and not learned out to take care of this type of loser. And I am not afraid to speak my mind anymore. When I promised my FIL I would take care of my MIL I meant it. And he did mean protect her from my BIL. He knew all too well his son's short comings. You still love your kids, but you have to stop helping them keep on a destructive path. If you keep supporting them they will have no reason to change.
Now the people in the pictures before. They were my 2 sons and a friend of my sons that is racing with. My hubby of course. My youngest son is going to be in a 3 day mountain bike relay race. They have been training all winter. I worry about it because the area is pretty rough in places and people have gotten seriously hurt before. My son hasn't told me if any ever died. He is a good rider though and I hope will be fine. His friend however doesn't do that type of riding often. I worry about him. Such a nice kid. I am hoping it is when I am off as I would like to see some of it.
Well, I am going to work on my closet doors sanding them and getting them ready for stain and then going to my MIL. Have a great day all.
Well my son just left. It is 4:47 in the morning. So sad. I miss him already. We had a wonderful visit. Friday we all got to take our bike ride. Wow, taking the winter off really makes it difficult to ride like you did the summer before, LOL. The 9 miles seemed like 20. It was really windy but beautiful out.
Yesterday we spent at my MIL.
She has lost another 7 pounds in only 2 weeks. She is eating more but it is not sticking. She has a vagueness that is disturbing. My FIL got that way toward the end. An inward looking. When she said goodbye to my son they were both crying as they both knew it was the last time they would see each other. Their pain was difficult to witness.
My grandson turned out to have strep throat. They put him on some antibiotics and he is better. Kids bounce back so quick. They are so happy their daddy is coming home.
I haven't had any more fights with the BIL. I took pictures of him yesterday with my sons. In the picture it really shows how down and out he has gotten. His teeth are blackened at the gums and his complexion is sallow. He looks like a homeless person that you have cleaned up. I would be scared to meet him in a dark alley. He looks terminally ill. He still talks the same and acts the same but he looks terrible. It is really sad as he was such a handsome young man. All the women loved him, at least until they got to know what a user he was.
He took my MIL's credit card and charged a flight for his son to come visit. Gee, it never occurred to me to have my MIL fly my grandchildren here! He has also been using the card to keep gas in her, his, car. I told him I was going to the bank and I would get him one of his bonds if he wanted to cash one of his in so he would have his own cash. He declined. I have plenty so far he said, yah, my MIL's entire bank account.
He made supper yesterday. I watched closely the way he treated his mother. I don't like the way he just dismisses her in her own home. She looks exhausted. I asked her privately if she was OK and she said yes,but she looks sad. I told Rick we will have to start going over there more again. We stepped back and let them have their time together but I need to make sure he is treating her good. She is still missing her meds sometimes and with him there to remind her I thought that would stop. Plus I told him to try and get her to drink 3 boosts a day and find out she has been averaging one a day. Is he trying to hurry it along or just cares so little about anyone but him he doesn't care.
As long as I am witching about him he also has been coming over here and spending hours on my computer. That will stop now that my son is gone. I have to get back to work.
Gee, what a pitiful entry this is. Bet ya just love reading these, LOL. I used to be so fun loving and talking about my weight loss and exercise. I will get back there again. I sit in the back yard and meditate smelling the wild purple flowers in the woods that are so abundant this year. The smell is heavenly.
I meditate and get my head on straight. I need to be focuses to make sure my MIL is really OK. I am more then worried about her. He is treating her like a visitor in her own home.
Zoey is getting better as only a healthy dog can do. Trying to keep her from being too active. She is so good and not bothering any of her stitches. The pain med is helping and she isn't whining like she hurts anymore. Her fur is already growing back.
Well, time to leave. Below is a picture of a wild rose. Iowa's state flower.
