My BIL has supposedly stopped drinking. Hubby's relative left some wine and beer over at my MIL and we went to get it so there was no temptation, the wine was gone. He was so bad when my FIL was sick. I am sick about this.
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Hello Everyone
Well I have been messing around with the AOL pictures and trying to see how to mix them around. These are just some old pictures I had around from our vacations and my favorite fishing spot. Not sure how I like the pictures this way as you lose alot of the detail and they look fuzzy. I did see someone do some flowers though that looked great so I am going out when the wind dies down to get some shots.
We are having gale force winds outside today. All night long things hitting the windows and one big old tree fell in the back woods and crashed down. Made for a fitful nights rest.
All of the visiting relatives are gone now and it should quiet down for awhile. My MIL needs a rest though mentally the stimulation has been good for her. I was upset to see she is still missing meals. Now she just sits and waits for my BIL to get her something. I told her she was getting up and getting her drinks and meals before he came and not to miss anymore meals waiting for him. She is still able to open a boost or heat some soup, make a sandwich. Its just alarming how fast the weight is dropping off.
Maybe I am in a bit of denial though. I remember when my FIL was dying my MIL nagged him non stop about eating and he didn't want to. I finally told her to just stop nagging him and let him eat what and when he wanted to. Maybe I should be following my own advice. It just seems to be going so fast. But I think she would have to be eating non stop to keep enough calories in her to stay ahead of what the cancer is burning. If only I could burn calories that fast and without exercising. Without having cancer also.
She is still in very little pain. Some cramping which I think is from starvation, your body will act that way but otherwise no pain, just tired. That is good.
I have been pretty much trying to avoid my BIL. He keeps popping up here and using my computer, but I told him my mornings I am off I do my work in the shop so at least I have my mornings to myself. My hubby gave him one of my BIL's bonds we have been keeping for him and told him to cash it so he had his own money and wouldn't need mom's especially when his son comes next week.
I think my BIL was planning on his son coming here alot and playing with my son's game systems or my computer. We told him we both will be sleeping all day and my son doesn't let anyone use his games without him being here. It was fine when we were off but I need my sleep. I am laying down some guidelines right away since he plans on staying here. His son is a pretty good kid though and I am looking forward to seeing him. Haven't seen my nephew since he was 3. He is 12 now.
I have my computer all set up and working good again. I am using a free AVG virus program and zone alarm. Not opening any attachments and I am scanning each email. Hopefully I will never get another virus but they say nowadays its not if you get one, but what to do when you get it. Sad.
Take care everyone and enjoy the moments.
We are having gale force winds outside today. All night long things hitting the windows and one big old tree fell in the back woods and crashed down. Made for a fitful nights rest.
All of the visiting relatives are gone now and it should quiet down for awhile. My MIL needs a rest though mentally the stimulation has been good for her. I was upset to see she is still missing meals. Now she just sits and waits for my BIL to get her something. I told her she was getting up and getting her drinks and meals before he came and not to miss anymore meals waiting for him. She is still able to open a boost or heat some soup, make a sandwich. Its just alarming how fast the weight is dropping off.
Maybe I am in a bit of denial though. I remember when my FIL was dying my MIL nagged him non stop about eating and he didn't want to. I finally told her to just stop nagging him and let him eat what and when he wanted to. Maybe I should be following my own advice. It just seems to be going so fast. But I think she would have to be eating non stop to keep enough calories in her to stay ahead of what the cancer is burning. If only I could burn calories that fast and without exercising. Without having cancer also.
She is still in very little pain. Some cramping which I think is from starvation, your body will act that way but otherwise no pain, just tired. That is good.
I have been pretty much trying to avoid my BIL. He keeps popping up here and using my computer, but I told him my mornings I am off I do my work in the shop so at least I have my mornings to myself. My hubby gave him one of my BIL's bonds we have been keeping for him and told him to cash it so he had his own money and wouldn't need mom's especially when his son comes next week.
I think my BIL was planning on his son coming here alot and playing with my son's game systems or my computer. We told him we both will be sleeping all day and my son doesn't let anyone use his games without him being here. It was fine when we were off but I need my sleep. I am laying down some guidelines right away since he plans on staying here. His son is a pretty good kid though and I am looking forward to seeing him. Haven't seen my nephew since he was 3. He is 12 now.
I have my computer all set up and working good again. I am using a free AVG virus program and zone alarm. Not opening any attachments and I am scanning each email. Hopefully I will never get another virus but they say nowadays its not if you get one, but what to do when you get it. Sad.
Take care everyone and enjoy the moments.
Monday, May 21, 2007
Back to working on my shop
Well, I had taken some days off working in my shop or anything while my son was here and now it is time to get back to work. So last night I did some listing and will spend this morning listing more. Can't make money if I don't list thing to sale.
The weather is cloudy here, we are hoping for a bike ride later so it might be nice and cool and a good day to ride. They have replaced all the art sculptures downtown and we might ride down there so I can get some pictures and do another entry in my bike journal. I did put an entry in the other day of our ride if you want to read it.
We also are going over to my MIL this morning. The hospice nurse is coming and I want to talk to her about my MIL weight loss and see if she has any idea's how to slow it down.
Just want to clarify. My MIL is happy my BIL is here. She worries about him so I am happy she is happy. I think she trusts him but she has said many times she is tired of giving him money all the time. But she is happy he came for a visit. She doesn't really want him to stay here though. She thinks he should stay where he was so he is close to his son. Now you know I would be pleased with that, LOL.
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Changes
My husband and I have talked and he is going to get her credit card and just keep it here. I just don't trust BIL. Don't trust the way he is looking after her either. Even my son said he was worried and asked us to get back in the picture. We have been, but we stayed away awhile to let them have their visit. Well, she is missing meds, missing her drinks, he took her out and to the bank! She isn't walking much at all now and hasn't wanted to leave the house for awhile. When BIL's son gets here who will be paying for his entertainment? My MIL.
I was so hoping this was going to be stress free. I want my MIL's last days to be soft and warm and comfortable. Not worrying about BIL. My FIL spent his last days worrying about him and now my MIL, but the difference is my MIL is confused alot these days and he is taking advantage of her.
I do not know if he is still on drugs. I don't think he is drinking as he made no attempt to hide it last time and I don't think he would this time either. He looks like he has some serious meth teeth going on, but not some of the other signs I see with heavy meth users. Nice thing about being a nurse. I can usually spot a user a mile a way. He doesn't look at all healthy though and I wonder if he has something.
My husband is going to get BIL out of the house while I talk to my MIL. I want to ask her if she has any concerns. I know BIL has been going though her closets and acting like he owns the house and she is the unwelcome guest. Ticks me off. He even moved into her bedroom! The hospice nurse has voiced her concerns to me. I am counting her meds. She isn't on pain meds yet but does get sleeping pills. I am sick we are having to go through this. It just isn't fair to my MIL. Plus BIL has put a stop to her giving her things away to relatives she wants to have them. It is her stuff to give away. ARRRGGGHHH.
Thank you all for your support. I feel like a real witch sometimes always telling my hubby what a creep is brother is. Thank goodness he isn't like him. Unfortunately my hubby doesn't handle confrontation well. He doesn't like to deal with it. But it doesn't go away just because you ignore it. I told him we have to face this and right now for his mothers sake. If it means packing BIL up and kicking him out I will do it to make her last days better. I haven't been a nurse for 28 years and not learned out to take care of this type of loser. And I am not afraid to speak my mind anymore. When I promised my FIL I would take care of my MIL I meant it. And he did mean protect her from my BIL. He knew all too well his son's short comings. You still love your kids, but you have to stop helping them keep on a destructive path. If you keep supporting them they will have no reason to change.
Now the people in the pictures before. They were my 2 sons and a friend of my sons that is racing with. My hubby of course. My youngest son is going to be in a 3 day mountain bike relay race. They have been training all winter. I worry about it because the area is pretty rough in places and people have gotten seriously hurt before. My son hasn't told me if any ever died. He is a good rider though and I hope will be fine. His friend however doesn't do that type of riding often. I worry about him. Such a nice kid. I am hoping it is when I am off as I would like to see some of it.
Well, I am going to work on my closet doors sanding them and getting them ready for stain and then going to my MIL. Have a great day all.
I was so hoping this was going to be stress free. I want my MIL's last days to be soft and warm and comfortable. Not worrying about BIL. My FIL spent his last days worrying about him and now my MIL, but the difference is my MIL is confused alot these days and he is taking advantage of her.
I do not know if he is still on drugs. I don't think he is drinking as he made no attempt to hide it last time and I don't think he would this time either. He looks like he has some serious meth teeth going on, but not some of the other signs I see with heavy meth users. Nice thing about being a nurse. I can usually spot a user a mile a way. He doesn't look at all healthy though and I wonder if he has something.
My husband is going to get BIL out of the house while I talk to my MIL. I want to ask her if she has any concerns. I know BIL has been going though her closets and acting like he owns the house and she is the unwelcome guest. Ticks me off. He even moved into her bedroom! The hospice nurse has voiced her concerns to me. I am counting her meds. She isn't on pain meds yet but does get sleeping pills. I am sick we are having to go through this. It just isn't fair to my MIL. Plus BIL has put a stop to her giving her things away to relatives she wants to have them. It is her stuff to give away. ARRRGGGHHH.
Thank you all for your support. I feel like a real witch sometimes always telling my hubby what a creep is brother is. Thank goodness he isn't like him. Unfortunately my hubby doesn't handle confrontation well. He doesn't like to deal with it. But it doesn't go away just because you ignore it. I told him we have to face this and right now for his mothers sake. If it means packing BIL up and kicking him out I will do it to make her last days better. I haven't been a nurse for 28 years and not learned out to take care of this type of loser. And I am not afraid to speak my mind anymore. When I promised my FIL I would take care of my MIL I meant it. And he did mean protect her from my BIL. He knew all too well his son's short comings. You still love your kids, but you have to stop helping them keep on a destructive path. If you keep supporting them they will have no reason to change.
Now the people in the pictures before. They were my 2 sons and a friend of my sons that is racing with. My hubby of course. My youngest son is going to be in a 3 day mountain bike relay race. They have been training all winter. I worry about it because the area is pretty rough in places and people have gotten seriously hurt before. My son hasn't told me if any ever died. He is a good rider though and I hope will be fine. His friend however doesn't do that type of riding often. I worry about him. Such a nice kid. I am hoping it is when I am off as I would like to see some of it.
Well, I am going to work on my closet doors sanding them and getting them ready for stain and then going to my MIL. Have a great day all.
Sad Sunday
Well my son just left. It is 4:47 in the morning. So sad. I miss him already. We had a wonderful visit. Friday we all got to take our bike ride. Wow, taking the winter off really makes it difficult to ride like you did the summer before, LOL. The 9 miles seemed like 20. It was really windy but beautiful out.
Yesterday we spent at my MIL.
She has lost another 7 pounds in only 2 weeks. She is eating more but it is not sticking. She has a vagueness that is disturbing. My FIL got that way toward the end. An inward looking. When she said goodbye to my son they were both crying as they both knew it was the last time they would see each other. Their pain was difficult to witness.
My grandson turned out to have strep throat. They put him on some antibiotics and he is better. Kids bounce back so quick. They are so happy their daddy is coming home.
I haven't had any more fights with the BIL. I took pictures of him yesterday with my sons. In the picture it really shows how down and out he has gotten. His teeth are blackened at the gums and his complexion is sallow. He looks like a homeless person that you have cleaned up. I would be scared to meet him in a dark alley. He looks terminally ill. He still talks the same and acts the same but he looks terrible. It is really sad as he was such a handsome young man. All the women loved him, at least until they got to know what a user he was.
He took my MIL's credit card and charged a flight for his son to come visit. Gee, it never occurred to me to have my MIL fly my grandchildren here! He has also been using the card to keep gas in her, his, car. I told him I was going to the bank and I would get him one of his bonds if he wanted to cash one of his in so he would have his own cash. He declined. I have plenty so far he said, yah, my MIL's entire bank account.
He made supper yesterday. I watched closely the way he treated his mother. I don't like the way he just dismisses her in her own home. She looks exhausted. I asked her privately if she was OK and she said yes,but she looks sad. I told Rick we will have to start going over there more again. We stepped back and let them have their time together but I need to make sure he is treating her good. She is still missing her meds sometimes and with him there to remind her I thought that would stop. Plus I told him to try and get her to drink 3 boosts a day and find out she has been averaging one a day. Is he trying to hurry it along or just cares so little about anyone but him he doesn't care.
As long as I am witching about him he also has been coming over here and spending hours on my computer. That will stop now that my son is gone. I have to get back to work.
Gee, what a pitiful entry this is. Bet ya just love reading these, LOL. I used to be so fun loving and talking about my weight loss and exercise. I will get back there again. I sit in the back yard and meditate smelling the wild purple flowers in the woods that are so abundant this year. The smell is heavenly.
I meditate and get my head on straight. I need to be focuses to make sure my MIL is really OK. I am more then worried about her. He is treating her like a visitor in her own home.
Zoey is getting better as only a healthy dog can do. Trying to keep her from being too active. She is so good and not bothering any of her stitches. The pain med is helping and she isn't whining like she hurts anymore. Her fur is already growing back.
Well, time to leave. Below is a picture of a wild rose. Iowa's state flower.
Yesterday we spent at my MIL.
She has lost another 7 pounds in only 2 weeks. She is eating more but it is not sticking. She has a vagueness that is disturbing. My FIL got that way toward the end. An inward looking. When she said goodbye to my son they were both crying as they both knew it was the last time they would see each other. Their pain was difficult to witness.
My grandson turned out to have strep throat. They put him on some antibiotics and he is better. Kids bounce back so quick. They are so happy their daddy is coming home.
I haven't had any more fights with the BIL. I took pictures of him yesterday with my sons. In the picture it really shows how down and out he has gotten. His teeth are blackened at the gums and his complexion is sallow. He looks like a homeless person that you have cleaned up. I would be scared to meet him in a dark alley. He looks terminally ill. He still talks the same and acts the same but he looks terrible. It is really sad as he was such a handsome young man. All the women loved him, at least until they got to know what a user he was.
He took my MIL's credit card and charged a flight for his son to come visit. Gee, it never occurred to me to have my MIL fly my grandchildren here! He has also been using the card to keep gas in her, his, car. I told him I was going to the bank and I would get him one of his bonds if he wanted to cash one of his in so he would have his own cash. He declined. I have plenty so far he said, yah, my MIL's entire bank account.
He made supper yesterday. I watched closely the way he treated his mother. I don't like the way he just dismisses her in her own home. She looks exhausted. I asked her privately if she was OK and she said yes,but she looks sad. I told Rick we will have to start going over there more again. We stepped back and let them have their time together but I need to make sure he is treating her good. She is still missing her meds sometimes and with him there to remind her I thought that would stop. Plus I told him to try and get her to drink 3 boosts a day and find out she has been averaging one a day. Is he trying to hurry it along or just cares so little about anyone but him he doesn't care.
As long as I am witching about him he also has been coming over here and spending hours on my computer. That will stop now that my son is gone. I have to get back to work.
Gee, what a pitiful entry this is. Bet ya just love reading these, LOL. I used to be so fun loving and talking about my weight loss and exercise. I will get back there again. I sit in the back yard and meditate smelling the wild purple flowers in the woods that are so abundant this year. The smell is heavenly.
I meditate and get my head on straight. I need to be focuses to make sure my MIL is really OK. I am more then worried about her. He is treating her like a visitor in her own home.
Zoey is getting better as only a healthy dog can do. Trying to keep her from being too active. She is so good and not bothering any of her stitches. The pain med is helping and she isn't whining like she hurts anymore. Her fur is already growing back.
Well, time to leave. Below is a picture of a wild rose. Iowa's state flower.
Friday, May 18, 2007
Well guess who got in a fight with her BIL
I tried, I really did. But within 20 minutes we were fighting.
We were going to have my MIL's house deeded over to our name. Her lawyer advised against it stating we would have to pay inheritance taxes. My MIL didn't really want to do it as she as always thought that was a terrible way to get out of paying for your nursing home. We had tried to talk her into it years ago, but she said her house was suppose to be payment if she ever had to go into a nursing home. It was all she had to help with the payments and she didn't want the government to have to pay her way. Its her house and I could see what she meant. So we didn't do it. That means the house will go into the estate and be divided equally per her wishes.
Well my BIL is freaking out because he is trying to get on permanent disability and having this house be partly his will affect that especially when it sells and also he owes back child support. My MIL always sent him money to his roommate so he didn't have a paper trail of getting any money. So he wants us to go ahead with getting the deed changed even if Betty is against it. He will be able to talk her into. I don't want to now because I am concerned about the taxes. How will we get Bobs half if he takes the money and splits. He got very defensive and surprise, surprise, I blew up. All he is concerned with is getting the money and not having to have it in his name. Of course I told him paying child support was an honorable thing and he should be happy he was coming into money so he could contribute to his sons well being. Well....THAT didn't go over very well, LOL.
So anyway, after fighting for 25 minutes and ruining my evening I went to bed and took my sore puppy with me. And I was ticked at myhubby who just sat there. I feel since he agreed to be her administrator that means he has to follow her wishes. Nobody ever stands up to the BIL because he can get so obnoxious. Well I do. I told my MIL we having an argument and that the Swedes were ahead which she got a chuckle over. She is pure Danish and it is a joke between us.
So now the cards are on the table. My BIL has no doubts about how I feel and knows that we know he has been mooching off her for years. This might get fun. He also wants to change the funeral after Betty has changed it. She paid for it right away so any changes will have to come out of his pocket. She isn't dumb, LOL.
Zoey woke me up last night around 3:30 softly crying under her breath. I gave her a pain pill and some water. Poor baby. She is so sore. Right now she is lying at my feet. I hope the pain gets better soon. Well, time to go. Take care all.
We were going to have my MIL's house deeded over to our name. Her lawyer advised against it stating we would have to pay inheritance taxes. My MIL didn't really want to do it as she as always thought that was a terrible way to get out of paying for your nursing home. We had tried to talk her into it years ago, but she said her house was suppose to be payment if she ever had to go into a nursing home. It was all she had to help with the payments and she didn't want the government to have to pay her way. Its her house and I could see what she meant. So we didn't do it. That means the house will go into the estate and be divided equally per her wishes.
Well my BIL is freaking out because he is trying to get on permanent disability and having this house be partly his will affect that especially when it sells and also he owes back child support. My MIL always sent him money to his roommate so he didn't have a paper trail of getting any money. So he wants us to go ahead with getting the deed changed even if Betty is against it. He will be able to talk her into. I don't want to now because I am concerned about the taxes. How will we get Bobs half if he takes the money and splits. He got very defensive and surprise, surprise, I blew up. All he is concerned with is getting the money and not having to have it in his name. Of course I told him paying child support was an honorable thing and he should be happy he was coming into money so he could contribute to his sons well being. Well....THAT didn't go over very well, LOL.
So anyway, after fighting for 25 minutes and ruining my evening I went to bed and took my sore puppy with me. And I was ticked at myhubby who just sat there. I feel since he agreed to be her administrator that means he has to follow her wishes. Nobody ever stands up to the BIL because he can get so obnoxious. Well I do. I told my MIL we having an argument and that the Swedes were ahead which she got a chuckle over. She is pure Danish and it is a joke between us.
So now the cards are on the table. My BIL has no doubts about how I feel and knows that we know he has been mooching off her for years. This might get fun. He also wants to change the funeral after Betty has changed it. She paid for it right away so any changes will have to come out of his pocket. She isn't dumb, LOL.
Zoey woke me up last night around 3:30 softly crying under her breath. I gave her a pain pill and some water. Poor baby. She is so sore. Right now she is lying at my feet. I hope the pain gets better soon. Well, time to go. Take care all.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Graphic pics.
Don't look if incisions bother you. My poor baby.
Usually when we get to the vet she runs in and jumps on the scale, gets weighed and when the tech comes for her trots in the back. No problems. Today.....she digs her paws into the ground and pleads with us with these super pathetic eyes not to let them them take her, whining....Oh god it was so sad I almost grabbed her and ran. How did she know?
She is back with 6 new incision. The one in her mouth and on her front they sent into to get biopsied. Those were the ones he was worried about. We find out in 5 to 6 days if she has cancer. She looks so shiny and pretty and acts so healthy I can't believe it is. Please pray. They also cleaned her teeth. What a sweet smelling mouth she has now. In 2 weeks they take the stitches out.
My BIL is coming over to ruin my day off today. Sigh. He wants to fly his son back for a visit. Guess who will pay for that?
My grandson is at the hospital with a 104.7 temp tonight. We are waiting for word. My son is beside himself. Soon as he leaves of course his son gets really sick. Same old fun at our house.
Well, take care all. I am slowly making the journals. Joy and peace to all.
My sons after the bike ride today, it about killed me. I have gotten in rotten shape.
Usually when we get to the vet she runs in and jumps on the scale, gets weighed and when the tech comes for her trots in the back. No problems. Today.....she digs her paws into the ground and pleads with us with these super pathetic eyes not to let them them take her, whining....Oh god it was so sad I almost grabbed her and ran. How did she know?
She is back with 6 new incision. The one in her mouth and on her front they sent into to get biopsied. Those were the ones he was worried about. We find out in 5 to 6 days if she has cancer. She looks so shiny and pretty and acts so healthy I can't believe it is. Please pray. They also cleaned her teeth. What a sweet smelling mouth she has now. In 2 weeks they take the stitches out.
My BIL is coming over to ruin my day off today. Sigh. He wants to fly his son back for a visit. Guess who will pay for that?
My grandson is at the hospital with a 104.7 temp tonight. We are waiting for word. My son is beside himself. Soon as he leaves of course his son gets really sick. Same old fun at our house.
Well, take care all. I am slowly making the journals. Joy and peace to all.
My sons after the bike ride today, it about killed me. I have gotten in rotten shape.
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