Need to make some changes

                                          

 I am at the point where I really need to watch myself.  I have been doing good and feel like an occasional cheat won't hurt, but it truth it will because it will lead to more and more cheats.   I have found myself skipping breakfast or lunch occasionally again.  That makes me want to eat more at supper which is a big problem for me.  Portion control.  I also think that since I am working out so much I can reward myself with eating alittle more.  Oh the tricks your mind plays.  In truth I can't do any of those things now or ever.  I found out the hard way once when I quit smoking after 8 years I decided I could have a cigarette when I was out with my sister one time.  One cigarette quickly became a pack which resulting in my smoking another 10 years until I quit again last year.  It is so easy to slip and go back into bad habits.  I am not hungry for breakfast usually and it is easy for me to just not eat it.  That is what for me is so great about the slim fast.  I can usually force myself to drink one of those.  I believe it is really important not to miss any meals.  I also stopped journaling my food daily.  I need to start doing that again.  I feel myself slipping into bad habits.  Successful losers see that happening and stop it immediately.  I want to be successful.  I found a pretty good site with some good information.  http://www.power-surge.com/educate/diet_weight.htm  Most of that if not all of that I know but reminding myself is good.

  Breakfast this morning was a slim fast shake.  I slept so terrible last night because my back hurt.  I can only take tylenol until after my surgery and it did not do the trick.  Work will be awful tonight on 5 hours of sleep and by this time tomorrow I will be up for 26 hours unless I can take a nap this afternoon.  No gym today.  My back is just too out of wack.  I think I will do a hot bath in scented bath beads and try to go back to bed.  It sounds like my MIL wants us to eat at her house today.  I will have to make sure I eat a good lunch, snack, and lots of water so I can handle what ever she prepares.

  My sweet dog Zoey. Lazy like me today.

Still Friday

   I was reading a post on the 100+ board about being afraid they are a slow loser.  I think this was always one of my problems.  I wanted this terrible burden of weight to be gone overnight.  When I was young I fell for all those lose 10 pounds in 2 weeks without dieting or exercising, lose weight while you sleep, fat-burning pills work so you don't have to, and all the other schemes out there that prey on peoples wish to look better and get thin.  If I had all the money back I wasted over the years I could go to Hawaii to visit my sister.  One nice thing about getting older is sometimes you get wiser.  It maybe took me  awhile, but I know now that I have always had the power to do this without any outside help.  I don't count the 100+ board as outside help, everyone needs support, but no gimmicks, no pills, no fad diets.  Yes the weight is going off slowly and no I won't be thin by next week, next month, and maybe even 4 months, but I will be weighing less and I will be healthier.  If only I could have realized this before I got into this shape.  I hope any young people reading this start today and not wait as long as I did.

  Anyway I wanted to put this down before I got off on something else.  I just got back from the gym so I can increase my minutes.  I did 90 minutes give or take a minute which gives me a total of 170/4320.

Friday Goals.

                                                        

  I am up early, 6 am.  I went to bed fairly early last night and read for awhile.  We watched Labyrinth last night which I haven't seen in a long time.  It is pretty good and I would have liked to watch it with my granddaughter.

  I am going to make some flax seed hot cereal for breakfast this morning.  I have some frozen blueberries to put on top and no fat milk.  I was going to do water aerobics this morning but instead think I will go to the gym and do the weight circuit again.  My suit bit the dust and the new one I have will look better after my surgery.  I won't be able to do water aerobics for awhile which will be bad but sometimes I think the chlorine bothers my lungs.  I feel conjested after 2 hours in the pool not to mention I reek of chlorine the rest of the day and all my drinks taste like chlorine.  I still wonder if that is good for you.  It really dries my skin out so I have to use lots of bath oil.

   Yesterday I really ate the old way.  Not enough veggies or fruit.  The only fruit I had was applesauce.  Since I only slept around 3 hours I didn't feel like going to alot of trouble for supper.  I am going to make up for that today and eat better.  I guess we are grilling steaks tonight, so I will have a sweet potato and I have some squash mix I froze that I will cook up.  I was short on water slightly yesterday in my goal for a gallon a day so I will make up for that today and have already started on my first 24 ounces.  What to have for lunch.  I have enough spinach for a salad left and might make that.  With most of the low fat foods I can't notice much difference in taste but I think low fat mayo is tasteless.  I used to love tuna occasionally but with this mayo it is flavorless.  I use dill and have tried bay seasoning but it still isn't very good.  Is it the tuna or the mayo?

    This was on aol's diet site and is great advice. 

• Pay attention to your food, and savor every bite. Eat sitting down, but not in your car or while watching 'Survivor' reruns. It's a lot easier to mindlessly wolf down a large order of fries when you're not paying attention to your food.
• Converse over your meal, and have fun. This, in turn, will slow you down, which is good, since it takes about 20 minutes for your stomach to tell your brain that you've eaten enough.
• Cook more. Get to know what real food tastes like -- cooking from scratch doesn't have to be difficult. You'll find that spending time in the kitchen gives you a greater appreciation of what you're eating. Plus, your house will smell wonderful.

Every meal can't be a fine dining experience, but if you think more about what and how you're eating, you'll be more likely to eat less and enjoy it more.

--Jill Melton

   I especially like the last part.  Most of us who are overweight like food.  I love food and really love good food cooked right.  The best meals I have are some that my husband and I prepare together and I love to set my table with pretty dishes and bowls.  I like making the meal an event with the food taking center stage.  What I ate last night, although it tasted OK, didn't do credit to my wonderful table.  Rather then be obcessed with how much food you stuff down I want to be obcessed with the way to food looks and tastes and how good it is for me.  I love trying a new light recipe and having it taste wonderful and I get a thrill knowing it is good for me also.  So most of the time that is my goal.  There will always be days though will quick and easy will win out but less and less often.  That is why I like Light and Tasty.  Most of the recipes are fast but taste like you spent alot of time on them.

   All of my rings are hanging off of me.  I have gotten some of my old ones out that didn't fit and they do now but I am going to have to have my wedding set made smaller.  I want to hold off as long as possible so I only have to do it once so I may have to do without for awhile.  I will get my old gold band out.  I am not much for diamonds anyway as I prefer something more dramatic.  Fire Opals, rubies, etc...  I guess I will clean up the ones that I can't wear and list them in my shop.  Might as well get some money for them. 

    I have to spend next week listing items to put in the shop so I can send some to ebay during my time off.  I will need to suppliment my income as money will be tight while I recuperate.  I want to take as much time as I need instead of going back to work early because I am broke. 12 days to go.  I see the Doctor next week to sign my permit and go over details.  I can't look in the mirror now without wondering how it will look and with my back burning and hurting so bad right now I am hoping it will give me some relief.

Eye Candy

                                            

  It is getting easier and easier to get my husband to the gym now that he has seen all the eye candy there, LOL.  He says he is just checking out how they use the equipment to see if he is doing it right, yah right.  Anyway we had a pretty good workout today.  I cut out some that I thought might get my back screaming but I did 90 ab crunches today at number 5 setting!  I am determined to make some kind of dent in this horrible tummy.  I have been using the free weights and working hard on my wings under my arms and am happy to report they are so much better.  All this skin is tightening up so well.  I think because I am losing it slow and exercising the entire time plus lots of water helps.  I will never have a hard body like the young girls at the gym but this mature woman is getting pumped up! 

    I have been practicing controlled movement at home, yoga like and also like Tai Chi.  I lift one leg up as slow as I can and as high as I can and then hold it and slowly rotate it to the back and down.  On my stretches I can now sit with my legs apart and put my elbows flat on the floor.  Pretty good for someone who's back is made up of screws and plates.  I love the control I am getting.

  Food wise today.  Last night at work I had a lasagna, fruit cup, 2 rice cakes.  Before the gym I had a slim fast and for supper I am having a cheddar wurst plain and curly fries bakes with a pile of veggies for me.  I am also sipping on a beer which tastes wonderful but won't help me with my challenge.

  The 100+ board started a new challenge on the 28th and I committed to losing another 15 pounds in 3 months.  I am also participating in the exercise challenge this time and have committed to 4320 minute of exercise.  I will probably pass that but if I make this challenge it will be the first time I have lost the weight I committed to.  I lose so slow at my age.  Yes I realize I would lose faster without the beer but life is to short to drink bad beer!  I am going to keep track of my minutes here.  So for minutes since I did about 80 it will be   80/4320.  I have a way to go.

   I made bean soup yesterday which I always hated and thought it was great.  I also made some broccoli soup and froze it.  My tastes are changing.  I like healthier foods these day.  I also had a great corn bread with it.  I ate 1 cup of soup and 1 piece of cornbread, really filled me up.  I finished it up with applesauce.

Editing my life

                                                   

  I recieved this in the email this morning from the daily om and it is thought provoking.  So I thought I would share with the people who read my journal.

December 28, 2005
Creative Cuts
Editing Your Life

Our lives can be compared to an ongoing movie script over which we have complete creative control. Within us lies the power to examine what works or isn't working in our lives and make "edits" to our life's script, accordingly. Choosing to actively edit your life can be incredibly empowering. As you evolve, you have the choice to accept the script you've written thus far or edit it so you can create a life that fulfills you. You can cut out from your life's script what is no longer working for you. Acknowledging that you are responsible for the experience you create gives you the ability to create the life you've always longed for.

Granted, editing your real life isn't always as easy as erasing a line of text. If you've carried emotional baggage or held on to an unhealthy relationship for a long time, these may be difficult to edit out. But when you do cut out what isn't working from your life, you'll feel lighter and more alive. Editing out activities that you find stressful, disassociating yourself from people that drain your energy, and letting go of your emotional baggage are all beneficial cuts you can make. In the empty spaces that are left behind, you can add in anything you like. Just as you have the power to edit out negative situations or beliefs that you no longer wish to have as part of your life, you can now include the kinds of positive experiences, people, and beliefs that you would like to fill your life with. The manifestation of these thoughts and images as realities in your life will inevitablyfollow. As you make changes to your life, you can also add in the bits where you choose mo! re intimate, healthier relationships, seek out adventure over tedium, and are no longer negatively impacted by old experiences.

To begin editing your life, simply think about your positive and negative experiences. When you determine what parts of your life are no longer serving you, make the commitment to remove them - though, it is important to remember that there is no proper timing or way to do this, and patience and compassion for yourself are always important during this process. Then, ask yourself what has brought you profound bliss and consider how you can make those experiences and beliefs part of your life now. With a little editing, you'll be able to clear out what is no longer serving you and make room in your life for more happiness, love, and wisdom.

   This is so true and exactly what I am doing, editing my life.  Robin tells me she likes the way I stand back and look at what I am doing and change the things that haven't given me the results that I hoped for.  That article sums it up.

  Today I slept in late which is wonderful as I work tonight.  I am going to make ham and bean soup and brocolli soup.  I have never liked ham and bean but to be honest haven't tried it in years.  I am going to try it again and see if I like it. But if I don't I will have the brocolli soup to fall back on.  We are going to the gym later, around one. 

   I have been getting some great emails from people who have stopped by and read my journal and I have been visiting theirs.  There are some wonderful writers out there which put this boring journal to shame.  It has been fun to read them and thanks to everyone who read this and comments.  Support is such a good thing.

                                                

Mountain charm.

                              I have to lose one more pound before I can put this on but I did buy it already.  My mountain charm.

15 days

                                                                 

 Tomorrow it will be 2 weeks until I have surgery.  Am I nervous, you bet cha.  I went clothes shopping yesterday.  Every sweater I tried on I tried to think how it would look when I was smaller on top.  I did end up getting one.  I went from a 2X to a X large and could have gone smaller but I like my sweaters baggier.  I bought 3 pairs of pants in a size 18.  Much better then 22-24's and again I think if they had had a smaller size I would have been able to fit into the 16.  I liked the pants though and they didn't come in a smaller size.

  I got up at 4:30 today and meditated.  I did the walking meditation today concentrating on how my muscles feel as I move.  I am so impressed that I can actually feel each muscle it directs you to move and concentrate on these days.  After 7 months of working out and becoming aware of my muscles again, I can appreciate their movement and strength.  I am still doing some of the yoga moves and can now stand on one leg with my eyes closed for at least 20 minutes.  My balance has improved along with my flexibility.  This old lady is getting stronger!  Meditation has been such a wonderful thing in my life.  I am calmer and happier then I have been in a very long time.  It has become so natural to me I utilize it off and on all day.  If I even start to tense up I automatically start breathing correctly and un tense myself.  I am a willow branch blowing in the wind but not breaking.

   I have ham leftover so for breakfast this morning I made a light egg mcmuffin.  I used light English muffins,  low fat Cheddar cheese, 1 egg and a thin slice of ham.  No butter just some herbs and dill on the egg.  Yummy.  Since I am up so early I shouldn't have a problem in water aerobics eating a heavier breakfast.  It is still 3 hours away.  For lunch I will have a salad.   I have been really concentrating on my water.  I want to try to get a gallon in a day.  Later I have to get some more slim fast.  Supper is still unplanned.  I hate that.  I do better when I have my meals planned days in advance.

Back to work

                                                         

Well I indulged yesterday as planned and am back to my routine today.  I started out with a cup of oatmeal.  I was going to have a slim fast but I am out.  Lunch will be a salad with some ham pieces in it and for supper I will have some soup and another salad.  So far I have already had 28 ounces of water and plan on drinking a gallon today and tomorrow.  Water will help flush the extra salt out of my system.  I will cut down for a couple of days to get the extra foods I ate out of my system and I plan on working out at the gym for a couple of hours today.  We are going at 1. 

   We had a nice relaxing day yesterday.  So different then the old days with all the family around.  I made a ham and we had the danish sausage, a potatoe casserole, mixed beans, homemade bread my husband made and apple pie.  All was so yummy.  I have lots of ham left so I have been looking for some recipe to make.  I will be making bean and ham soup.  I have never liked it but will give it a try again and I found a good recipe at the light and tasty website.   I feel like my weight is up alittle, but it could be fluid because of the ham.  I am not going to weight until the 28th which is the start of our Winter Challenge.  I am thinking of only doing 15 pounds this time.   I would like to make my challenge at least once and the weight is coming off pretty slow.

  I am off to Fashion Bug right now as they are having a 60% off sale and maybe I will find something to wear that fits and isn't all baggy.  I might look at sweaters also.

   Went to the gym alone since my husband was MIA and I didn't want to miss today.  Had a pretty good workout.  I did the treadmill for 20 minutes and then the weight circuits plus some free weights.  I just started adding the free weights last week and am already increasing my weights.  I have been watching the other people to see what they do with them. Gives me some pretty sore muscles.

And on this Day a Son was Born

                    Peace On Earth and Goodwell toward Men ( and women)

   Having a lovely day so far and got some great presents.  Some new ladies to add to my collection.

                             

      Mistress Smoke                                                          Cocoa

   I got a food processor also which I have been wanting for a long time.  Since I do so much cooking from scratch now this will really speed up the prep time.  My  son got us a massaging chair which is wonderful so we all had a massage and are nice and relaxed.  I talked to the grandchildren and they loved their gifts.

Angels We Have Heard on High

Angels We Have Heard on High

Angels we have heard on high,
Singing sweetly o’er the plains,
And the mountains in reply
Echoing their joyous strains.

Refrain:
Gloria in excelsis Deo
Gloria in excelsis Deo

Shepherds, why this jubilee?
Why your joyous strains prolong?
What the gladsome tidings be
Which inspire your heavenly song?

Refrain

Come to Bethlehem and see
Him whose birth the angels sing.
Come, adore on bended knee
Christ, the Lord, the newborn King.

Refrain

See within a manger laid
Jesus, Lord of heav’n and earth!
Mary, Joseph, lend your aid;
With us sing our Savior’s birth.

Angels we have heard on high,
Singing sweetly o’er the plains,
And the mountains in reply
Echoing their joyous strains.

Refrain:
Gloria in excelsis Deo
Gloria in excelsis Deo

Shepherds, why this jubilee?
Why your joyous strains prolong?
What the gladsome tidings be
Which inspire your heavenly song?

Refrain

Come to Bethlehem and see
Him whose birth the angels sing.
Come, adore on bended knee
Christ, the Lord, the newborn King.

Refrain

See within a manger laid
Jesus, Lord of heav’n and earth!
Mary, Joseph, lend your aid;
With us sing our Savior’s birth.

Tis The Night Before Christmas

                                         

                                          

                                                

                                   Be merry all, be merry all,

                With holly dress the festive hall,

                         Prepare the song, the feast, the ball,

                 To welcome Merry Christmas.

                                 -Unknown

    Well, tomorrow is the day.  Since Christmas is so quiet these days with the kids grown and the grandchildren gone it is pretty laid-backed here.  I am off work now until Wed. and very happy to be away from the temptations that I admit to partaking of last night.  Since with my plan nothing is banned forever or always, I will not beat myself up because I know that I will have cookies and candies occasionally off and on and it does not mean I have ruined my diet or fallen off the wagon.  I just don't do it often enough to get very concerned about it.  Truth be told, I don't find them as good as they used to be.  Are the cooks not as skilled or has my sweet tooth broken?  Doesn't matter though.  We are going to my MIL's tonight to play cards and relax.  The weather is warm and in the 40's.  I am going to concentrate on my water today and will do some Tai Chi before going over as the gym closed at noon.

   Tomorrows menu, Danish sausage, Ham, baked potato casserole lightened up, mixed vegetables, red cabbage and apple pie.  I will have 3 ounces of ham with horse radish, 1/4 c potatoes,  lots of vegetables and a small slice of pie.  Since we will be at my MIL's again most of the day I am bringing some apples and plan on having a slim fast for breakfast in the morning.  Monday I am going to cut down to 1200 calories for a couple of days and increase my water to help flush the heavier meals out of my system and them back to my regular eating again.  It is much easier these days to adjust my eating to accommodate different eating amounts.

    I am sitting here listening to my husband curse.  I have wrapped all the presents except his Mother's.  He is wrapping that and presumingly wrapped mine and it is not going well.  Where did we get this stupid paper he gripes, the Dollar store.  So far it has taken him 15 minutes on the one package.  The paper tears and he curses again.  Finally he finishes it and holds it up.  He looks at it and starts to laugh until tears comes to his eyes, this is the worse wrapping job I have ever seen.  Ahhh Christmas, such fun.

Water Aerobics

                                   

 

   I really pushed myself in class today.  I was even sweating in the water!  I told my instructor that I wanted to work on my abdomen so we did lots of ab work.  I will be sore tomorrow and my swimming suit is getting way to large on me.  I don't want to buy another one though until after my surgery. 

    I am just going to be miserable not being able to work out.  I will be able to use the treadmill and walk upstairs and some of the weight machines that just work the legs.  I hate the treadmill though as it is so boring, same with the bikes.  But it is better then nothing. 

    I was still in bed when my MIL got here this morning so had to hustle and not have breakfast.  Usually I drink a slim fast on swim day so I was starving when I got home.  I had more Ramen noodles.  I get stuck on something I like and have  tendency to eat it alot until I get sick of it.  So far I am not sick of them.  I also had a glass of V8 with a few drops of olive oil and applesauce.  Another thing I am stuck on right now, applesauce with cinnamon warmed in the microwave.  Yummy.  It is like eating the middle of a slice of apple pie.  I have some vegetable soup cooking and will have low fat grilled cheese sandwiches with them.  I have cut way down on bread again but feel it will be OK since I will be working 12 hours tonight.

  Once again my husband said something to the effect of you are making on these changes and next thing I know you will be moving away.  I usually just laugh but realized he really is concerned about it.  We sat down and I explained once again why I was doing all the things I am doing.  To get healthy, to not become a diabetic if possible,  to be in less pain, to not have anymore bone deterioration, to feel good about myself and to be more attractive for him.  I am 51 years old and not about to jump ship after 32 years and try and break in another man.  I almost have this one trained!  I could not imagine being with anyone else and I thought he knew how much I loved him, maybe I don't tell him enough.  I will start though. I think he feels better. 

   I get such tunnel vision I don't realize what other people may think of what I am doing.  He is not the least bit happy about the reduction, even though he understands why I want to have it done.  He worries that the one surgery that isn't completely necessary is the one I will have complications with.  I worry about also but I usually sail through surgeries and work hard to recover quickly so I am not going to think about it.  I am in the best shape I can be in to have surgery right now.

  I weighed after swimming and was down to 200 even.  I can't really count it yet because I am always down a couple of pounds after water aerobics.  It usually comes back but not always.  Gives me extra incentive to do good.  Soon I will be under 200!  I think it was 1992 the last time I was under that.

 

Weird weight loss

                                    

                                        

   I lost a little more weight today making it 201.6.  Wow.  Really close now.    I was looking in the mirror at myself and it is so weird the way I am losing this weight.  I am getting stick arms and legs and am still round in the middle.  Reminds me of a picture my granddaughter would draw.  I have been really concentrating on my abdomen at the gym, doing a million crunches, but I see no improvement, well little improvement.  When I measure that is what has changed hardly at all.  It will probably be the last thing to go if it does.  How could I lose 40 pounds and still wear some of my old clothes.  Must be the elastic waist.  I will probably lose 5 pounds just by getting the reduction and that will help with clothes also.  I usually have to get larger just for my chest.  Thats another thing.  Other people lose their chest when they diet, why is mine staying the same?

   Enough with being depressed with body image.  Be gone bad thoughts! 

    Today no gym unless I get off my butt right away and run down there because we promised to help his mother get more Medisterpolse made so she can give some to relatives.  Then we are going to eat over there.  She has a way of getting you over there and making sure you stay for longer then you mean't to.  We were just going over there to make those and then do some other things like work out but she told us she is planning on us for supper.  Home made chicken noodle soup.  I don't mind spending time with her but it is my last day off until Saturday so I have some things to do.  Can't deny an 84 year old woman though.

Surgery Scheduled

                

                                                

  I am now scheduled to have surgery on the 11th at 9 am.  Now I am nervous.  I am 2nd guessing myself now because I have been free of any flare ups and being pain free I am not anxious to start having any pain.  However, I realize this is just a temporary thing and my back is going to flare up again so I will have it done.  I hope it comes out OK.

   Water aerobics is today and then I have to get my hair trimmed.  Then I have to go to the mall and buy a gift certificate for my son.  Christmas is just a few short days away.  I am going to really have to pinch my pennies because my income is going to be severely reduced while I am off.  I should have more saved up.   My son will help with the heat bills though.

   I put my charm on yesterday and it looks wonderful.  I was going to wait until weigh in day but I stayed the same weight for 2 days and decided to go for it.

  For breakfast today it will be the usual slim fast because I am doing the water aerobics.  I will have ramen noodles without the broth for lunch.  I sprinkle garlic pasta on it and grated parmesan to make a cheap garlic pasta with very few calories.  It sticks with you also.  With that I will have a V8 and some applesauce.   I am still debating supper.  I had the munchies last night after supper really bad.  Thank goodness I don't have anything around to munch on except apples or fruit cups.  I did have a couple of rice cakes which helped.  I am way down on my water again so that may be why the munchies.  I have to watch it.

Soups

Develop a meditation that is like water. Doing this, you will find that the thoughts and impressions that possess you will flow away. Just as people wash away their body liquids, their sweat and spittle, pus and blood, and yet the water is not troubled or disgusted--so this water meditation will bring you peace.

-Majjhima Nikaya

 

                                                

   I bought dried beans at the store last night and plan on making some bean soups in the next week.  Found a site that has some great light recipes and sound wonderful.  I have a million things to do today and want to work out at the gym also.  Tomorrow I get my hair trimmed and have water aerobics then want to do some more housework.  It is looking good and I got some great Jim Shore Ornaments for the tree.

  I think I will have oatmeal for breakfast and some leftover soup for lunch.  I got some applesauce with cinnamon which tastes wonderful warmed.    I now am working on getting 3 pounds off by New Years.  I can do it. 

   I haven't meditated yet today, so will get my room ready and get into the mood.  I have some great scent oil I will put on my lamp so the mood is right.

                                                 

  We went to the gym and had a good workout but both of us don't feel like it was as good a work out as the day before.  Time to increase the reps or weights.

             

   I am having a lazy day today and feel tranquil and peaceful.  Trying to decide if I should put my charm on today or wait until wednesday, Yes I have dropped that 1/2 pound and am finally down 40 pounds,  Good feeling.

Saturday

                                 

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL OF MY GAL PALS 

If I were ol' Santa, you know what I'd do
I'd dump all the silly gifts given to you
                      
And deliver some things just inside your front door
Things you have lost, but treasured before.

I'd give you back all your maidenly vigor
and to go along with it, a neat tiny figure.

Then restore the old color that once graced your hair
before rinses and bleaches took residence there.

I'd bring back the shape with which you were gifted
so things now suspended need not be uplifted.

I'd draw in your tummy and smooth all the cracks
Till you'd be a dream in those tight fitting slacks.

I'd remove all your wrinkles and leave only one chin
So you wouldn't spend hours rubbing grease on your skin

You'd never have flashes or queer dizzy spells
and you wouldn't hear noises like ringing of bells.

No sore aching feet and no corns on your toes
no searching for spectacles right on your nose.

Not a shot would you take in your arm, hip or fanny
from a doctor who thinks you're a nervous old granny.

You'd never have headaches, no pills would you take.
no heating pad needed since muscles won't ache.

Yes, if I were Santa, you'd never look stupid
You'd be one cute chick with the romance of Cupid.

I'd give you a lift when the wolves start to whistle,
the joys of your heart would be light as a thistle.

But alas! I'm not Santa. I'm simply just me
the matronest of matrons you ever did see.

I wish I could tell all the symptoms I've got
But I'm due at my doctor's for an estrogen shot.

Even though we've grown older this wish is sincere
Merry Christmas to you and a Happy New Year.

Friday

                                     

  I am off work today and it is good.  I need the rest.  I will be going to the gym with Rick at 1:00 and look forward to the exercise.  I have been having trouble with restless leg at night and didn't get much sleep.  I hope it settles down soon.  I am thinking by tomorrow I might be down that last 1/2 pound because the scale was wavering today between the 1/2 pound and not so it will soon settle into 202.  Still seems like alot but is much smaller.  My husband told me yesterday I look so much thinner, like the woman he married.  I was heavy when we married 32 years ago but not this heavy.  I have to call my insurance today and make sure they will cover me for surgery into the new year.  They had better.

                                                   

  For breakfast I am just having a slim fast.  Lunch will be a cup of leftover chipotle soup and I haven't decided on supper yet.  I think I will get the ham out to thaw and make that sometime this weekend.   I measured myself and am down more inches.  My wrists are now skinny enough I can get my fingers around them.  In fact my lower arms look great.  Still pretty flappy on the upper arms but have definate muscle there.  My legs are solid muscle.  If I could just get my flabby tummy to firm up.  I think it has but I would probably need a tummy tuck to get rid of it and that will never happen.  Slowly but surely I am getting there.  Maybe I will hit the onerland's on New Year's day!  I hope not that long though.

                             Broccoli Wild Rice Soup 

 
1 package (6 ounces) chicken and wild rice mix
5 cups water
1 package (10 ounces) frozen chopped broccoli, thawed
1 medium carrot, shredded
2 teaspoons dried minced onion
1 can (10-3/4 ounces) condensed cream of chicken soup,(reduced fat, reduced-sodium undiluted
1 package (8 ounces) light cream cheese, cubed
1/4 cup slivered almonds, optional

 
 
 
  SERVINGS 8 
  PREP 15 min. 
  COOK 15 min. 
  TOTAL 30 min. 
 
 DIRECTIONS
In a large saucepan, combine rice, contents of seasoning packet and water; bring to a boil.
 Reduce heat; cover and simmer for 10 minutes, stirring once. Stir in the broccoli, carrot and onion
 Cover and simmer for 5 minutes. Stir in soup and cream cheese. Cook and stir until cheese is melted.
 Stir in almonds if desired. Yield: 8 servings (about 2 quarts).

 NUTRITIONAL INFO

Nutritional Analysis: One1-cup serving (prepared with reduced-fat, reduced-sodium soup and light cream cheese
 and without almonds) equals 178 calories, 6 g fat (0 saturated fat), 19 mg cholesterol, 582 mg sodium,
 25 g carbohydrate, 2 g fiber, 7 g protein. Diabetic Exchanges: 1-1/2 starch, 1 vegetable, 1 fat.

 

   We had a great work out at the gym,  I am increasing my weights and feeling stronger.  I have been using the free weight also and trying to work on my tummy area.  Hopeless I think but still I have to try.

Didn't make it

                                     

Well I am still only down 1.4 pounds on the scale.    Frustrating but I can handle it.  I am happy I am making it through the holidays with a lose, no matter how small, instead of a gain which I would have in the past.

  Work last night was brutal.  I got 2 admits that were critical when they hit the floor and should have gone straight to ICU instead of the floor.  So I had to work like crazy getting all these life saving treatments started, calling the doctors and then transfering them to intensive after all.   I kept running all night which made the12 hours go quickly.

  Weird eating today again because of work.  I have a pretty good dinner planned of grilled chicken breasts, steamed brocolli, wild rice and then a fruit cup in water for dessert.

AAARRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH

   I stepped on the scale today and I am down 1.4 pounds.  ARGH.  So close.  This is like waiting for the last number in bingo.  It is tempting to fast today or take a lasix as I can tell I am retaining fluid by the swelling in my feet but I am not going to do it.  Hopefully by tomorrow the rest will be gone. 

   I have been looking on ebay at the charms.  Wow, there are a lot more then there were the last time I looked and some great mountain ones.  I should be able to find a great one for  the next milestone also.

Bike Charm

                                       

I got my bike charm today to give me incentive to lose the last 2 pounds.   I have it hanging on my mirror in the bedroom.  Just 2 more pounds and I can put it on and just 4 more pounds and I will be under 200.  I have to think of a great charm for that.  I was thinking of a mountain if I could find one because it would symbolize going down the other side for me.  I have never seen one like that though and would probably have to have it made.  We shall see.

  I am doing well again.  Practicing intent and willfullness.  Missed my meditation this morning and I want to do a good one before bed concentrating on focus which I have been lacking lately.

Twelve Days Of Dieting

                                                                   

The Twelve Days of Dieting.

On the first day of Christmas the dietier took from the fridge,

a bartlet pear on cottage cheese.

 

On the 2nd day of Christmas the dietier took from the fridge,

2 slices of melon,

and a barlet pear on cottage cheese

 

On the 3rd day of Christmas the dietier took from the fridge,

3 lettuce leaves,

2 slices of melon,

and a barlet pear on cottage cheese.

 

On the 4th day of Christmas the dietier took from the fridge,

4 ripe red grapes,

3 lettuce leaves,

2 slices of melon,

and a bartlet pear on cottage cheese.

 

On the 5th day of Christmas the dietier took from the fridge,

5 golden delicious apples,

4 ripe red grapes,

3 lettuce leaves,

2 slices of melon,

and a bartlet pear on cottage cheese.

 

On the 6th day of Christmas the dietier took from the fridge,

6 carrot sticks,

5 golden delicious apples,

4 ripe red grapes,

3 lettuce leaves.

2 slices of melon,

and a barlet pear on cottage cheese.

 

On the 7th day of Christmas the dietier took from the fridge,

7 radishes heaping,

6 carrot sticks,

5 golden delicious apples,

4 ripe red grapes,

3 lettuce leaves,

2 slices of melon,

and a bartlet pear on cottage cheese.

 

On the 8th the day of Christmas the dietier took from the fridge,

8 ounces of water,

7 radishes heaping,

6 carrot sticks,

5 golden apples,

4 ripe red grapes,

3 lettuce leaves,

2 slices of melon,

and a bartlet pear on cottage cheese.

 

On the 9th day of Christmas the dietier took from the fridge,

9 figs a dancing,

8 ounces of water,

7 radishes heaping,

6 carrot sticks,

5 golden delicious apples,

4 ripe red grapes,

3 lettuce leaves,

2 slices of melon,

and a bartlet pear on cottage cheese.

 

On the 10th day of Christmas the dietier took from the fridge,

10 rice cake crackers,

9 figs a dancing,

8 ounces of water,

7 radishes heaping,

6 carrot sticks,

5 golden delicious apples,

4 ripe red grapes,

3 lettuce leaves,

2 slices of melon,

and a bartlet pear on cottage cheese.

 

On the 11th day of Christmas the dietier took from the fridge,

11 slices of kiwi,

10 rice cake crackers,

9 figs a dancing,

8 ounces of water,

7 radishes, heaping,

6 carrot sticks,

5 golden delicious apples,

4 ripe red grapes,

3 lettuce leaves,

2 slices of melon,

and a bartlet pear on cottage cheese.

 

On the 12th day of Christmas the dietier took from the fridge,

A healthier way of eating,

11 slices of kiwi,

10 rice cake crackers,

9 figs a dancing,

8 ounces of water,

7 radishes heaping,

6 carrot sticks,

5 GOLDEN DELICIOUS APPLES ( SING OUT LOUD HERE)

4 ripe red grapes,

3 lettuce leaves,

2 slices of melon,

and a bartlet pear on cottage cheese.

 

 

 

Saturday Journal

   I have not been doing great lately.  We had peanut mix last night at work and I had some and the day before some candy which I also ate.  I would lose faster if I didn't touch those things.  It is so hard this time of year but not very long ago it would have been harder.  It used to be all the doctors would send gift trays to the floors, usually candy or cookies and sometimes fruit,  Popcorn, nuts.  They seem to have stopped doing that this year.  It's good but I was looking forward to the oranges and a little appreciation for our hard work would have been nice.  My son has been at his job for around 8 months.  He got a $500.00 bonus check.  I have been at my job almost 26 years and we won't get anything from our employer.

    I ended up going to the gym the other day after all and had a great workout.  I varied it alot and have the sore muscles to prove it.  Next month I am joining WW.  I need the accountability as I am slipping lately.  I think it is because my loss is so slow.  Even though I feel much better physically I really want to be much smaller.  I read the boards and people that weigh more then me are fitting into smaller clothes then me.  I am so pear shaped with my stomach.  It is discouraging.  I have come a long way and have no intention of giving up.  It has been 6 mouths now and I thought I would be at least 50 pounds lighter.  I am not trying hard enough.

  Meals for today.  Last night I had a bowl of split pea soup that I made the other day.  I had an apple, 2 rice cakes and later some low fat popcorn plus those darn nut mix.  When I got home I made a cup of oatmeal.  For supper Rick is grilling steaks and I will have a spinach salad.  I have been terrible at my water lately.  It is harder now that the weather is cold.  I have to fight this terrible urge to hibernate this time of year and to put on weight for insulation.  I just feel thicker these days.  Time for a measuring day to see if I have lost inches.  I haven't done that for awhile.   Sometimes I wish my husband needed to lose weight also as it would be easier if he were cooking light meals.  Last night wasn't bad as we had fajitas.  I also struggle all night at work with feeling likeI need to be eating all the time.  I make sure and bring stuff that is low cal so I don't grab something from the vending machine, but I am struggling .  I am bringing a bag of organic baby carrots tonight and I made up some oatmeal, froze it in cup size servings and have brought some of that to nuke at work.  It actually heats up pretty good if you heat it slow and then add your no fat milk.

Back to Work

Enlightenment--that magnificent escape from anguish and ignorance--never happens by accident. It results from the brave and sometimes lonely battle of one person against his own weaknesses.

-Bhikkhu Nyanasobhano, "Landscapes of Wonder"

 

       I have way to many things to do to go to the gym today.  To start off I am making some split pea soup, then I really have to finish my packing and get them mailed out.  I have to finish my Christmas cards and I want to take a hot tub soak.  For breakfast I had organic 4 grain with flax hot cereal.  I am not sure what to have for lunch.  I think just a slim fast as it seems like I feel fuller today.  I might go back to the slim fast for a meal for awhile and see if I can get the weight to come off better again.  I have gotten complacient.  The pea soup will be for supper tonight.  I will try to do a Tai Chi session before work if I get time.

  Well I got done soon then expected to went to the gym after all.  I used the machines alittle differently trying to work on different muscle groups and really worked up a sweat.  It is easy to get to a point and just do the same thing everyday so I like to change it everytime I am there along with increasing my reps so I get the most benefit.  I have cut down on the water aerobics as it seems to be bothering my lungs lately.  I would like to get through this winter season without pneumonia for a change.

No surgery in 2 weeks

   I did my water aerobics yesterday and the water was great.  One of the ladies told me I was getting darn right  skinney.  Now I am a long way from skinney but it felt good.  Today we are going to the gym and just doing the treadmill and weight circuit.  My husband and are were talking about all the benefits we feel since we started the weight circuit like better posture, easier getting around, strength,  we used to both get up in morning walking like old people until we got the kinks worked out.  It has taken like 10 years off of us.  Amazing.  I am so happy my husband is seeing the same benefits I was seeing because now it is easy to get him to go.  

 I got a call yesterday that they just couldn't get me scheduled this month.  Get me all excited and then it doesn't work out.  I was really hoping it would be this year because I have met my deductible.  It is probably to late to go to a different surgeon and start over.  Now I have to worry if my insurance will cover in after this month or if I have to try over.  I think there is a time limit from when your approved until when you have to have the surgery and Feb is cutting it pretty close.  In addition I don't know if they will let me go to the surgery center in the new fiscal year.  They don't always allow it.  sign.

Monday.

                              

                                           My Christmas Tree

Righteous Recipe ~ Parlsey, Sage, Rosemary & Thyme Trout

Ingredients:
2 trout fillets
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 tablespoon each fresh chopped parsley, sage, rosemary & thyme
4 cloves garlic, minced
1/2 teaspoon coarse-grind black pepper
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
juice of 2 limes

Instructions:
In a plastic zip bag, combine all ingredients.
Shake it up and toss the fillets in, shaking and coating them thoroughly.
Zip up the plastic bag
Place it in the refrigerator at least 2 hours.
When ready to cook, toss marinade and grill,
broil or sauté trout as you normally would -
about 10 minutes total, turning once, until fish flakes easily!

    I got this recipe from the Kick in the Tush club and it looks wonderful.  I can't wait to try it. 

   It is a little before 7 am and I am going to be going to the gym shortly then home to wrap presents.  The tree is up and looks lovely.  My cinnamon scented pine cones smell great and I will be getting out my Christmas music soon.  For breakfast I will have the shredded wheat again as I like it with blueberries of course.  I didn't do well yesterday as I didn't have hardly any veggies.  I also had a mango bar which had too many calories but really tasted good.  An occasional treat is OK.

  I had a wonderful workout.  I am slowly increasing my weights and reps.  Feel the burn.  My love handles are going away and my thigh muscles are really showing.  My abdomen is a mess and I despair of that ever getting better but I bet it is stronger under all that flesh.  Maybe I should be saving up for a tummy tuck.  After all the surgeries I have had on my abdomen maybe it won't ever get much smaller or tighter.  Who knows.  Anyway everything else is looking better but more important, I feel better and stronger then I have in years.

  Came home and ended up having left over meatloaf.  We are going to LeMars to get a turkey today as I have to use Dan's gift certificate soon.  I have 2 more and will get a couple of hams for Christmas with them.  I am making split pea soup in the slow cooker so that can cook why we are gone.

Spyware

                                        

Without love we could not survive. Human beings are social creatures, and a concern for each other is the very basis of our life together.

-His Holiness the Dalai Lama

I picked up another of those stupid spyware programs so I am going to have to clean my computer and reload it.  Darn things.  People should be put away for a long time for making those things.  I can't believe it is something that actually helps them sell anything as most people just reload their computers.  What a pain in the butt though.  I have all my pictures saved but have to save all my documents.  How does this stuff get past all my anti-spy ware and virus protection.

  We didn't get the tree up yesterday as my husband wasn't feeling well so will do it today.  I wish I would hear something on the surgery soon as I was just thinking, it would be only a week away and I don't know if that is enough time to get all my paperwork done and get the time off.  Why are delaying!

   I had shredded wheat again for breakfast and will probably have a salad for lunch.  They have lost their appeal since the weather got cold but I am going to eat one anyway.  I am not sure about supper.  I have some Turkey brats and my husband is hungry for Garlic Pasta.  I would like to see how it tastes if I slim it down.

Putting the tree up.

                                                          

     It's a lovely cold day out and we are going to put the tree up today.  I love the way my house looks and smells at Christmas.  It will be very lonely without my grandchildren here but I still am going to decorate.

  Yesterday I bought some lovely silk PJs with a button down top for my surgery.  They feel so good and I slept wonderfully in them.  And they are a size 18 and baggy.  Much better then the 24 I was wearing.

   I am going to have some shredded wheat this morning and then for sure going to have turkey soup for lunch.  I might make a meatloaf for supper as I am hungry for one.   I want to get to the gym today and workout then get all the chores done here.

More Snow

                                      

                    

                                      

 They are predicting more snow today.  On top of the 5 inches we have.  What a drag.  It is hard to get anything done.  I am still sick today, I think it will be a cold but took some tylenol so I can go to rehab.  I am hoping I feel better this afternoon so I can go to the gym.  Maybe I could work off the illness.  I meditated last night and concentrated on increasing my white count to fight off the cold.  I thought of the white cells as an army and sent them into battle my cold virus.  We used to use this visualization technique on our cancer patients to have them fight their cancer.  I figured at this point I will try everything because I want to be healthy and ready in 2 weeks if I get surgery.  I am sorry I won't be able to try the Cold Snap to see if it cuts down the length of my cold.  I can not be sure since there are so many herbs in it that none of them are a blood thinner and I don't want anything like that.  I also am going to put up the Christmas tree this weekend.

   My husband made organic 7 grain hot cereal for breakfast.  I put some blueberries on it and it was wonderful.  I will have leftover turkey soup for lunch and haven't decided on supper yet.  Hard to think food when I feel so rough.  Maybe more soup for me and the men can eat whatever they want.

   Well, It's later in the day and I had a turkey wrap for lunch instead of the soup.  I took some tylenol and my temp broke so I plan on going to the gym shortly and doing my workout.  It will either kill me or the cold.  It's snowing again.

  It is now later in the day and everything I am doing must be working because I am feeling better.

Still Not sure

  I still don't know for sure if I will be having surgery in 2 weeks.  The nurse called me today and still doesn't know for sure but is having me start pre-op things now.  No ibuprophen,  herbal tea, darvocet, etc.... I will be really hurting by the time I have this done.  I can still take tylenol.  Now she said I should know by Tue.  I hope so.   I started getting ill last night at work and feel worse since I woke up.  I ache all over and am running a fever.  I sure hope it is gone by the time I see the doctor because I don't want to be posponed if its a go.  I had chicken and noodle soup my husband made for supper and was drinking tea but now that is on hold.  I will have to research the Chai tea to see if any of the ingredients are blood thinners.  My husband has a great book on herbal medicines as he is really into it so it should be in there.  I just ordered some cold snap off the internet to help me prevent colds.